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Coming Out

Summary: Daniel finds something out about Jack and Jack gets a shock too. This is what they think about it.
This entire series is NC-17 without exception and contains explicit and not so explicit sex and very bad language. Thanks go to my Beta Reader Julia. I bow down to your superior grammar. You're Grampa's okay too ;-)

Crap, that mission stank to high heaven. Somehow we all got home, a bit battered and bruised but okay. Teal'c has retreated to his room, desperately needing to do his meditation thingy and Carter has left the mountain. Frasier said they were meeting up later at her house; girl's night in. Personally I think it's an excuse for them to get shitfaced without men seeing them acting stupid. Ah well, whatever works. That leaves Daniel. He needs to get shitfaced, whether he thinks so or not. That Jaffa's head exploding all over him is going to give him nightmares whether he realises it or not. Fuck that, it will give me nightmares, just remembering seeing that Jaffa running for him, Daniel trying to protect that native kid at the probable cost of his own life... if Teal'c hadn't had the chance to shoot - no, I am so not going there.

So, here I am, heading for his office, where I know he'll be. We'll do the usual ritual; I'll ask him to come over, he'll say he's busy, I'll moan and whine and then tell him that I need his company and he'll give in because he's a nice guy.

Well, that didn't go according to plan. He wasn't there. Ok-ay, let's try the locker room. Ah ha! He's trying to scrub all that blood and brains off. I tell him that it's all gone, but he's not sure that he believes me. I hand him his towel and lead him to a mirror. He can see it now, so he quietly pads over to his locker and dries off. I ask him to come to mine and he agrees straight away. I think he knows how much this one is going to hurt.

It's a ritual, a tradition if you will. We always do this. I can't tell him how much I need him in my life, he'll run a mile. He has no idea about me, about how I feel for him. I've been a bastard to him recently. Chasing after Carter like that, I should be ashamed of myself. I am ashamed of myself. I let my best friend think he was alone again. How the hell could I do that to him? At first he showed me how hurt he was, then he shut himself off from me. It's taken a lot of work getting back under his skin, but it's worth it. Sometimes he smiles at me.

We're going in our separate cars; we'll meet at my place. He likes the escape route offered to him by having his car there. Poor Danny, he's had such a crappy life. From now on it's going to get better, I promise. Tonight I'm going to tell him something about me that he doesn't know and perhaps he'll learn to trust me again.

Daniel is slowly getting drunk. We're drinking our drink. It's a funny thing, but whenever the rest of the gang come over, no one touches the Jack Daniel's except us. It's like it doesn't belong to them. Perhaps they are right, it does only belong to us. One of the weird things that binds us together. He's shaking, the shock of what happened is starting to get to him so I move next to him and put my arm around his shoulder. He leans into the embrace. That doesn't surprise me. There was a time he would have shot over to the other side of the room, wrapping his arms around himself. I nearly drove him back to that with my stupid behaviour. I won't let that happen again.

We're talking, chatting about the past. Past loves, past lives, those we've lost. I get out a photo album and turn to the beginning. He thinks he's going to see a picture of Sara or Charlie or my family. But the first picture he sees is of Rick.

He studies it for a while and then uses his long index finger to trace the image of my face. Then his perceptiveness astounds me even more than normal.

"How long?" he asks. I ask 'how long what?' "How long were you two together?"

It shouldn't surprise me that he can see it. Even though Rick and I weren't touching, we were looking at each other with such affection.

"Two years," I reply as calmly as I can. He looks back at me and smiles; a beautiful, gentle smile. Then his finger traces the line of my jaw for real.

"Were there anymore or was Sara your next love?"

"One more, at the Academy. His name was Josh. A good guy. We had to keep it secret though. I had girlfriends too, but none of them made me feel like they did. Sara was special and I don't regret marrying her. There were times that I thought I had gone into it to convince myself that I was straight, or even to hide the fact that I was gay. I'm not, I realise that now. I'm both, neither, bi, whatever. Does it bother you?"

He laughed, the little prick just laughed at me. Next thing I know he's kissing me. It was only a gentle brush of the lips, but it was enough to tell me that he wasn't bothered, in fact he was interested.

"Oh Jack," he sighs, "you didn't think that I could be one hundred percent straight, did you? You know me so well, how could I ever be exclusive to one gender or another? I've had male lovers as well as female. I thought you'd have worked that out about me. There's enough slander and innuendo about me at the base to make you think so."

I start to laugh now. When you think about it, a completely straight Daniel is absurd. He can make anyone love him, and he has the capacity to love anyone. It's just that I had only ever seen him with women. I can see why he thought I was straight, the Air Force colonel thing would make anyone think so (or I hope so; this don't ask, don't tell thing doesn't work).

He's kissing me again, this time with a lot more interest. I'm showing my own interest too and Little Jack is wanting to come out to play. Oh God, he's lying next to me on the sofa. It seems Little Daniel also wants to come out to play.

"Why did you wait so long to tell me Jack?"

"I guess I never had the nerve. At first, I thought you'd run a mile. You were so wrapped up in Shau're that I never hoped that you could want me. Then after you lost her, I was a complete prick, and for that I'm sorry. I'd have thought you'd have guessed when I was angry with Kera. I shouldn't have chased after Sam, I was doing the mid-life crisis thing, I guess. Daniel, you and me, we need to sort this out before we go any further. This has got to be permanent, like a rigid structure, you know?"

He only grabbed my hand and stuck it on his prick. "That rigid enough for you, flyboy?" He still makes me laugh.

"Jack, if you and I start a relationship, I'm guessing that it's going to be a forever kind of thing. You're my best friend and I can't imagine what life would be like if we split up. It's one thing to lose a lover, it's something else to lose your soul."

Dammit, the boy can be so poetic. I respond by kissing him, it's the only way I know to tell him that I love him. One day, maybe tonight, I'll say the words, but till then he'll have to work it out. Smart, my Danny, he'll figure it out quickly enough.

Jack loves me, I know that now. His kisses tell me everything I need to know, I just hope he'll figure out that I feel the same. Steven and I were together for a couple of years before we split. He never forgave me for going out with Sarah after that. Hey ho, what did he expect? She offered it up on a plate and I would have been stupid to turn it down. He wasn't my first boyfriend. Faisal was. Man, that guy was H.O.T. He seduced me easily - well, I went after him like a mutt, I was such an easy lay in those days. I still am if the truth be told, it just doesn't happen as often. My sexual history is a lot more colourful than Jack could even begin to imagine. I wonder if he's into bondage? Plenty of time to find out, I guess.

Not sure when I fell for him, it was years ago that's for sure, before his totally embarrassing 'interest' in Sam. She didn't know where to put herself. She was attracted to him, sure, I can understand that, but Sam is so career military that he never stood a chance. Perhaps that was why he did it. Who cares? He's mine now.

We sit back next to each other, talk some more, laugh a lot, get absolutely rat-arsed as a British friend used to say. I don't believe it, Jack's looking nervous, like he's not sure what to do next. He's already admitted to going all the way with his past lovers, so he can't be nervous about that.

I ask him a question. "Do you like to be top or bottom?"

His face goes bright red. I can't believe it at all. My hard-assed, rude, mouthy, deadly, rude, sexy, (deadly sexy too), did I say rude(?) colonel blushes when we talk about sex. Ha! I don't - ever. He's going to learn that his mild-mannered archaeologist is not as naïve as he looks. Oh, and I have a perfectly foul mouth too. He's been on the receiving end of it once or twice, but that's nothing compared to what he's going to get tonight. I can't help it. He's finally answering.

"D.d.don't care - either - both - whatever." Oh goody, I think I get to play tonight.

"Have you got supplies?" I ask him.

"Er, yeah, better check the dates on them though, it's been a while."

Meanwhile, I reach into my wallet and pull out a couple of condoms, well in date.

"Daniel? Since when do you have a need for them? You haven't been out with anyone since that genocidal maniac."

"That's what you think. Besides, I never slept with her."

"You didn't?"

"Er, bit hard when you've gotten SFs on the other side of the door and a manic colonel threatening to kill her. You really were jealous, weren't you?"

"What? No, of course not," my face falls - on purpose - "well, a bit - okay, a lot. And don't change the subject. Who do you go out with? Where? When? I want details!"

Ah, my darling colonel, I am going to let you sweat. Suffice it to say that I can put smiles on some of the nurses' faces just by walking into the infirmary. I'm not as blind to the looks I get as you think. And then there's..., no, don't go there Daniel. You're a one man, er, man now. You won't cheat on Jack, not no way, not no how. It's taken long enough to get the horny bastard where you want him. No, he's permanent, nobody else.

Daniel has a perfectly evil look on his face. I only asked him what he was doing with newly bought condoms. The little shit has been holding out on me and he won't tell me who he's been seeing. I'm guessing that it wasn't anything serious, I'd have found out about that. I think.

He's taking me by the hand, we're heading for the bedroom. Oh boy, he's undoing my shirt as we go, kissing my neck. Shit, Little Jack's twitching like mad. If he doesn't get to come out to play soon I'm going to come in my pants. Good, the bed. My pants hit the deck before I even know that he's undoing the flies and my prick's giving him a perfect salute.

FUCK! He's on his knees, I won't be able to hold it for long. God, that man's tongue should be registered as a lethal weapon, I think I'm going to die. His hands are roaming around my thighs, JEEZ, one has gotten hold of my balls. His other hand is stroking my backside, I know where that finger is going, I can't hold on. I'm screaming his name. "Ohshitohshitohshit!"

I don't believe what he did. His finger hit the spot straight away and he deep-throated me at the same time. I actually saw stars. I don't think I have ever come so hard in my life. It's taken me ages to regain the use of my tongue. He's smirking at me, he damn well knew that he could do that to me.

Oh God, he's taking his clothes off. Slowly, sensually, he's teasing me. Love you Daniel, love you more than I have ever loved before. No one makes me feel like you do. He's looking in my bedside drawer and finds some lube. I hope it's in date; it would be so embarrassing if it wasn't. Good, it is - just. Need to stock up on some I think. Lots of it, and boxes of condoms, though we're both clean; we get enough tests to prove that. I think it's just going to take a while for us to go the last step.

I'm lying on my stomach now, it's been so long that he thinks it would be for the best, to not hurt me. My Daniel would never hurt me, I know that. Have I said that he has magic fingers? Well he has. He's massaging my back and it feels so good. He's kneeling between my legs. I should feel vulnerable but I don't think I have ever felt so relaxed in all my life. A slickly lubed finger is pushed gently in me, soon followed by another and then another. He's talking to me - that beautiful mouth is positively filthy. He's telling me what he's doing, what he's going to do to me, what he wants to do to me. I can feel myself building up again. It's been a hell of a long time since I recovered so quickly. Man, he is so good.

I'm begging now, fuck me for Christ's sake, I need him inside me. I hear the slap of rubber on skin, the weird noise that an unrolling condom makes. He lifts my ass up and I'm waggling it for him. Damn, I never knew I was such a slut. I want him NOW! I feel him enter me, slowly, carefully, he's pushing in. Now he's buried up to the hilt, I can feel his heavy balls on my butt. I yell at him to "go, harder, faster, now, just fuck me."

He does, hitting the happy button with every push. I'm hard again, I try to tell him, but my mouth has forgotten how to speak. He gets the message though and I feel his slicked fingers wrap themselves around my prick. He pumps in time to his thrust. I can hear in his voice that he's close.

"Ohgodohgod <pant>. I'mgoingtocomeI'mcomingnow.<gasp> fuckinghellyouaresobeautifulIwanttofuckyoutodeath!"

Heh heh, who knew my linguist knew lingua like that?

We're lying collapsed on his bed, sated doesn't begin to cover how we feel. He's one up on me, so I'm going to work on him to do me again soon. I'm feeling so horny. I haven't felt like this since I first got together with Faisal. He was so much better than the girls I had been with up till then and he screwed divinely. I learned some pretty good tricks from him. Jack's going to get the full benefit of my not inconsiderable experience. I can't wait.

Jack's a snuggler, who'd have believed it? Well me I suppose, he's always been free with the hugs in my direction. Oh, how sweet, he's telling me he loves me, really sleepily. Perhaps I'm going to have to wait for him to wake up before I get my repeat performance.

Before he falls asleep I lead him to the bathroom to really get ready for bed. I take a leak as he cleans himself up and brushes his teeth. Sharing a sink with him is fun and we end up nudging each other out of the way as we scrub. I don't believe it, the bastard spat toothpaste on my head as I ducked down to rinse my face. We start to fight, laughing our heads off, and end up in the shower. Oh well, we are both naked. I reach up and turn the water on, making him scream because it's cold and he got the full dose of it.

Oh hell, he's coming after me. I run to the bedroom and he grabs me as we reach the bed. Trust me to wind up with a trained assassin as the love of my life. I can't get anything right. Faisal - sexy bastard, permanently horny and in the wrong country - oh, and then killed in a car crash. Steven and Sarah, both so fucking wrapped up in their own careers that they didn't put any effort into the relationship. Still good sex. Then Shau're, my heart, my light, my love - taken from me by those fucking snakeheads; and no, Teal'c, I don't blame you one bit. I miss her, even now, we used to laugh so much. I stopped laughing until tonight. Of course there was also Shyla, though I couldn't get into her knickers without a wedding ring, not for lack of trying I hasten to add. Didn't get anywhere with Kera, just as well, as Jack says, genocidal maniacs really aren't good life partners. I'm not counting the nurses. A date, sometimes a screw, nothing more. Of course, there was, nah, not telling him that one. And Jack, my soul mate, my strength, my life, my psychopath, I love you so much that it hurts like hell when you so much as look away from me.

And now he's hurting me, on purpose, he's sitting on me. Gerroff you bastard, I can't breathe. He's laughing his head off. Oh hell, I can't believe it, he only farted. I want to leave the room but he won't get off me. I start laughing, shouting obscenities at him as I do. Tickle him, see what happens. Who knew? Jack is ticklish. That's good to know.

Got him pinned under me now, kissing hard, the gloves are off and he's lost his earlier shyness. Nothing to hide, Jack, certainly nothing to be ashamed of. Oh my, that's impressive.

YES! My turn. It hasn't been so long for me, didn't say all the nurses were female, did I? I lay on my back, I want to watch him as he comes. He's stroking me, outside and in, gently increasing the pressure. I fight to keep my eyes open, but I want to throw my head back and howl. He's in me now, all of him. I yell the same stuff that he did, but I am WAY louder than he is. Hope his neighbours are away, we'll be keeping them up.

"OhgodohgodIwantyouJack <gasp>fuckmeharderyoubastard <howl> IfuckingloveyouohGODYES!"

There's something liberating about sleeping with a mad man. Don't know what or why, there just is. Glad we've got tomorrow off. I've got plans for him, including a kitchen table, honey and a bottle of olive oil. Time to sleep and dream now. Good dreams I'm sure.

I was afraid of this, Daniel's screaming his head off and not because he's coming either. He's thrashing around, yelling in a mix of languages. I recognise the Arabic and French, I think I hear Abydonian. Fuck. That's Goa'uld. I may not speak these languages but I've heard them often enough to know them. Sh Danny, I'm here, it's just Jack, babe, you're safe in bed with me. Love you Danny, won't hurt you I promise, won't leave you. I've got you, just let it all go, let go, I'll catch you when you fall I promise.

He's calming down now, he will sleep, he hasn't even woken. I hold him tightly, my arms are a security blanket for him. I remember the first time he had a nightmare off-world. He and I share a tent, Teal'c needs his own for meditation and Sam gets her own most of the time unless it's really cold, then Teal'c and I share, and she and Daniel snuggle up together; it's a sibling thing. Anyway, most of the time it's him and me. We'd lived here together after his return from Abydos and I was used to his nightmares. He had a howler that night and Sam and Teal'c came running. They couldn't believe what they saw, me holding him in my arms as if he was a little boy, gently stroking his hair, talking him down from his terror. That's what it is for him; absolute terror. Daniel can cope with any crap as long as he's awake, but the minute he falls asleep he's vulnerable to the evils that he has seen. Sometimes I can figure out what he's dreaming. That first time it was Shau're's abduction, but since then I've heard him as an eight year-old watching his parents get crushed to death; slightly older, suffering at the hands of uncaring foster siblings. He says the parents were okay, but the kids could be very cruel. One recurring nightmare is of losing me. I don't know why I didn't figure him out long ago.

He's his usual grumpy self in the morning and grins when he kicks me out of bed to make the coffee. I give in, this time. I take one back up to him and he's back asleep. I'm a morning person, not like his night-owl. Come on Danny, I made it, you can at least drink it. Good boy, that's it, open your eyes, sit up, open your mouth and yes! Houston, the Eagle has landed. Daniel is to coffee what Homer is to Duff; at once its best advert and worst proponent. I've seen this kid so wired that he could be used as a tightrope. His eyes are wider now, he's actually getting up to take a leak. My mission has been accomplished.

Don't knock coffee, it gets him up. He's downstairs now, heading straight for the coffee pot. Will he be able to pour one without spilling anything? Success. Though he is drinking it black with no sugar. Ah, cup number three gets him every time. We're the only team that officially gets extra coffee rations in our packs. The joys of having not one but two caffeine addicts on the team. Between them, Daniel and Sam count for half the GNP of Columbia and a fair portion of Switzerland's given the amount of chocolate they eat. And it's not the cheap stuff either. Daniel has extremely expensive tastes. He says it's because he was spoilt by his nannies (?!) as a small kid and then missed being comfortably off until he came to work for the SGC. I've seen his pay cheques, he gets way more than I do. I'll get him to do the next grocery shop I think.

He's smiling at me, damn he looks positively predatory. Oh oh, he's headed my way. Aarrgghh! Put me down, you git. It is so embarrassing, he's slung me over his shoulder. Didn't think he was that strong. Ah, back to bed, I think. Time to turn the tables. Are you going to put me down or what?

I'm on my back now and he's headed my way. Hell, he's nearly scaring me, I've never seen him look more wicked. Oh no, Danny Boy, my turn to play. Ha! Years of special ops give me the edge at times. Now he's on his back. Hmm, his neck tastes so good, his chest too. Love the salty taste of his sweaty body. It wasn't sweaty a minute ago, I think I'm doing that to him. Ooh lookie here, I'm doing something else to him. I wonder what that tastes like?

OHMYGOD! Jack is going down. Oh babe, that is so good. No, Jack, don't stop, please. Ah, that's better. Ohfuck - ohGod - thatssogoodIthinkImgoingtoscream. I scream. He's good at that. Hope he'll do it again. Soon. Better return the favour; he's whimpering as I lick my lips. I wonder what the fluttering eyelashes will do to him? Oh, that's good, he's turning to mush. They'd laugh back at the SGC if they knew just how soft my dangerous killer really is. Hmm, those nipples of his are sticking out - remind me of ice creams for some reason, I think I'll lick them. Oh yeah, that's working. He's bucking against me. Shall I put him out of his misery? In a minute. That belly looks like it needs attention, oh, and his thighs.

"Daniel, if you don't do something about that now, I'll hurt you - badly."

Heh heh, I think it's time. Nice and slow this time, he tastes good. I can feel him pulsing against my tongue, I really love doing this for him. Wow, must remember to hold his hips down, I think he'll choke me to death otherwise. He's coming, I can tell, his moans are getting louder, oh yeah, he's calling my name, chanting it. Love that, hate it when others call me Danny, love it when Jack does.

"Oh God, Danny, Danny, Danny... please, now."

I suck hard and he shoots, he scores and the crowd goes wild. Ah. He's passed out. Oh dear. I wonder if he'll wake up or should I call Janet? I can just see it now. "What happened Daniel?" "Oh, I went down on him and he fainted when he came." I can just see her trying to keep a) a straight face and b) it out of his records. She knows about me. She's a good woman, she'd die rather than betray a friend. Love her to bits, couldn't get involved with her though. She's been (medically) even more intimate than Jack has got. I'll take good care of her in my own way. She's a fantastic mom and we all adore Cassie. She's the nearest thing I'll ever have to a kid of my own. She complains that she has two surrogate moms and three dads, not to mention George in grandfather role, but I think she loves the fuss and attention really. I'll never let her go into care, no matter what happens to Janet at work.

Oh hello, he's coming round. Ah, I'm still giggling at the thought of what I'd say to Janet and he's annoyed. Tell him what I thought and he cracks up.

"Does she know about you, Danny?"

"Oh yeah, known for years. You'll have to tell her about you, it'll be fairly obvious at our next major physical. Don't worry, she knows about all the gay guys on the base and she'd never tell anyone. How about we call on her and tell her at home?"

"If you think we should. Cassie's still away at Janet's parents isn't she? That's why she and Carter had that girls' night last night."

"Like we had a guys' night I wonder?"

"You are a pervert Danny."

"No, just a pleasant thought."

I have NEVER passed out after coming before. I've belched, farted, pissed and gone to sleep, yes; passed out, no. God, what does he do to me? I am never leaving him, not ever. Undomesticated equines couldn't drag me from him (to quote our favourite and oft used Teal'cism).

He's saying we have to tell Janet. He's right, we should. We should also tell Sam and Teal'c. I'm not telling the General, but I'm guessing that George will figure it out, he just won't have his official hat on when he does. Good people all of them. If Sam objects, then Danny and I are going to have to figure something out. Pretty certain she won't say anything, but she may not want to work with us anymore, especially after the way I behaved towards her.

Daniel's on the phone. They're coming over and will be here soon. Oh crap. Gotta run around the living room and tidy up, empty JD bottle and glasses, some of my clothes. How did he take those socks off me without me noticing? Gonna have to watch him in future.

Danny's pottering about in the kitchen, making more coffee, washing up the breakfast things. I ate even if he didn't. Hell, he's making toast.

"I've got to eat Jack, or Janet will get mad." His eyes are so wide and innocent when he says it. I know better now, Daniel is so not innocent. He's a devious fucker. I am so proud.

I just shake my head. He seems oblivious to the fact that he's still only in his boxers, a concession to the neighbours at that, just in case anyone saw him through the window. That's why he likes his loft. He can bum around in anything, or nothing as he likes to do apparently. I dig out some clothes for him. We stay at each other's often enough that we keep spare sets of clothing there. He's eating his toast now, still oblivious to the world around him. I push him into the bedroom and tell him to get dressed.

Crap, the girls are here. I'm not much better than Danny, but I've got some jeans on, even if I don't have a top on. Yeah, here come the cheap cracks from the girls. Don't mind the teasing too much, but Danny'll blush if they say anything to him.

He didn't. He did! Came out in the sweat pants I left for him and nothing else. Wonder if he knows just what his toes do to me? Getting a good look at his chest now, in daylight. Oh he is so sexy. Janet and Sam are virtually fainting at the sight. I don't believe it, he's not blushing, hell he's playing to the crowd. If I picked Janet up like that and swung her around she'd kill me. He's kissing Sam? Only on the cheek, but I didn't know their off-duty relationship was so close. She's looking confused. Apparently they're only like that in front of Janet.

Oh, Carter knows about Daniel I'm guessing. This will come as a shock about me, don't know how to tell her. Ah, Daniel has a plan, and this plan includes? Holding my hand as we go and get the coffee. To accompanying squeals from the girls. I am in such deep, deep shit.

"Daniel! Jack! Woah, since when?" Janet asks, Carter's just laughing her head off right next to her. Daniel gives her a shit eating grin and tells her.

"Aw, that's so sweet." It's Carter's turn to take the piss. That's an expression that I learned from Daniel. Means to tease mercilessly, and preferably painfully. She's going for it now.

Oh for fuck's sake, Carter, shut up. I was expecting a right telling off for that one but Daniel just cracked up. Said it reminded him of an email he'd just got from a friend, entitled "occasions when the use of the word 'fuck' might have been justified". Some of them were just too sick to repeat, he said, and I said that was strange coming from him, the most twisted man I have ever known. Carter then says is that 'known' as in the Biblical sense (?) and Daniel has to be picked up off the floor. I'd have left him there but Janet glared at me and she is just too scary for me to deny.

We make it to the sofa and Daniel regales us with some quotes from that email. How does he remember these things?

"Where the fuck did all those Indians come from?"; General Custer. And "Fuck that for a game of soldiers"; Napoleon Bonepart at Waterloo.

Okay, these have potential. Some for Carter.

"Any fucking idiot could understand that."; Einstein. "It so fucking was a big bang,"; Stephen Hawkin.

Must admit to howling about, "You want what on the fucking ceiling?" (Michaelangelo), along with "She does so fucking look like that," (Picasso).

Janet's favourite was too sick, but Clinton's "Aw come on, who the fuck will find out?" just finished her off. Looking outside, the Noah one (scattered fucking showers... my ass) seems appropriate. It's chucking it down.

Oh dear, can't go out, will just have to spend the day in bed with my dear boy. Or not, depending on how long the girls stay.

Sam's okay with us though, tells us that she's really happy for us and then threatens to rip me a new one if I hurt Daniel. I promise her that I would die rather than purposefully hurt him. All she said was, "Oh you will, I promise." Hell, she's taking scary lessons from Janet. Janet just thinks it's too cute for words. That really gets me. Cute? Me?

That little shit Daniel just grins and says in a really sappy way, "Oh yes, Jack, really cute."

He got a severe tickling for that one.

Jack's learning something today, about how crazy Janet and Sam really are off-duty. He got upset when I said I was going home to get some stuff, even though I promised to be back asap. Janet draped herself over him and promised to keep him warm for me. Jack didn't know where to put himself.

I gave him some advice as I finished getting dressed. "Let it happen Jack. Give them free rein in your house, it will hurt less in the long run, I promise. I'm going to get some of my things, it'd be good if I have some more clothes here and I'll bring dinner for four. I think the girls are staying. Probably for the night."

His face at that one was a picture.

"The night? Do they stay at yours overnight?"

"Oh yeah, usually 'cause they're too drunk to leave."

"Where do they sleep?"

"My bed."

"Where do you sleep?"

"My bed. It's nice to snuggle. Get used to it Jack. You'll get a lot more attention from them now you're with me and you can either run screaming or you can sit back, relax and enjoy it. I do."

I have never seen my brave colonel look so scared.

I stopped off at the pharmacy to pick up some Astroglide and more condoms. The look of disappointment on the checkout girl's face was to die for. Next stop, wine shop. Picked some of their favourites as well as some more JD and some stuff to make cocktails. Cassie's not due back for a couple of days so we can party. Wonder if Teal'c wants to come? Get home and quickly pack some of my off-duty clothes. I'll leave the more outrageous things for when Jack and I are alone. Don't want the girls to know all my secrets. Pick up some music, don't think that Jack's taste will cut it for a day-long party. Called the mountain but Teal'c is enjoying himself training some new recruits. I think he really likes doing the scary Jaffa routine. What food? Hum, ah, I know, got a jambalaya in the freezer. I'll take some rice and stuff too. That'll keep Janet happy, get her drunk enough and she does the Southern Belle routine brilliantly.

Got everything so I'll head back to Jack's pronto. Jan's car is still there. I wonder if they went to pick up some overnight stuff yet? Perhaps they won't bother. Jack'll freak if he finds out they usually sleep naked. Crack open the first bottle as soon as I get in. Jack's astounded.

"It's not even lunchtime Daniel," he complains. Doesn't know much about student life, does he? That'll teach him to do his degrees via the Academy and day release. You wouldn't know he's got a Master's degree in Mediaeval English Lit. You have to be quite highly qualified to be a colonel. I spent ages figuring out his major, but the fact that he can quote Shakespeare and knows a lot about poetry is a bit of a giveaway. I wonder if he will read to me? Maybe I can persuade him? I can be very persuasive. Sam and Janet both went through years at uni, like me, so they are well-qualified drunks. It is a day off, after all, just hope we don't get called in.

I'm not the cheap date Jack thinks I am. It's just beer that gets me. I can match him drink for drink with spirits and drink him under the table with wine. I get giggly quick but then I seem to settle there for ages.

Music's on, much to Jack's horror. He didn't know Sam and I like heavy rock. I make some lunch, Jack's supervising and driving me nuts. I wonder if I can shut him up? Oh yeah, playing hockey with his tonsils works; mind, it makes the girls laugh. Jack is blushing like mad. Until now I didn't know just how easy it was to make him blush. I can have some fun with this. We crash out in the living room, sandwiches and snacks on the coffee table. Jack's starting to relax now, I think the wine is helping. Aw, he's put his arm around me. We're curled up together, I'm virtually laying on his lap. The girls have settled a bit now, at least they're not teasing us anymore. Well, not so much anyway. Getting quite giggly now, all four of us, things are getting silly. Perhaps we should play a game? Jack's groaning, he gets the feeling that whatever we play, he'll lose. I get out Twister. It's really difficult to spin the dial when your legs are pointing in the wrong direction.

Twister? I don't believe it. Daniel's absolutely nuts. The girls are laughing so much that I think they'll fall soon. Aarrrgghh! Oh God, I'm flat on my back, Janet's across my legs, Carter's pinning down one of my arms and Daniel's right across my chest. My jeans are getting really tight now. Who'd have thought a kids' game could give you a hard-on. I am so not going there. Hmm, Daniel's kissing me, very gently and sweetly, there's a wicked glint in his eye. He is such a fucking tease. I'll get my own back later.

Is it that time already? My barefoot lover is padding into the kitchen, Janet at his side. They're going to do dinner on the grounds that they're the best cooks. Daniel can cook really well. Says it's because he was so poor as a student he had to learn how to make the best of the cheap ingredients he could afford. And if you can cook well with the worst things, just how good can you get when you can afford the best? He's defrosting a jambalaya he brought from his freezer. The smell coming from the microwave is enticing to say the least. Can't wait for it to be ready. There are lots of laughs coming from the kitchen. Oh God, I think I'm feeling jealous. Don't be stupid, O'Neill, he's only playing with her and she knows it. Carter wants to talk.

"Jack, I didn't think you'd have a relationship with Daniel, well beyond friendship that is."

"Sorry to disappoint you Ca, er, Sam. I'm not straight, it's just a front because I don't want a dishonourable discharge and so on. I like women, don't get me wrong, I just like guys too. Like Daniel. Especially like Daniel."

"Oh, um, I'm not disappointed, or anything like that. Surprised, yes, but that's all. I really hope things work for you two. It's about time you both found some happiness. I'm guessing that this is serious, not just a fling."

"Last relationship I'll ever have, I'm sure about that. Maybe Daniel will want somebody younger in a few years, but I can't see me ever wanting anyone else."

"You don't know Daniel as well as you think then. I know him, Jack. He's been in love with you for a long time. And, I happen to know he prefers older men, always has done. He's had boyfriends of the same age and younger, but he doesn't take them seriously. He won't give up on you, ever. You'll have to accept you're stuck with him for life."

A raucous laugh comes from the kitchen, making Sam and myself crack up at the sound of it. I smile at her; I can think of worse people to be stuck with. Pretty much the entire universe I think. She's speaking again.

"I know you two have always been close, but I don't think I have ever really understood why. I mean, you are so different. And I don't think that it's the opposites attract thing either. I'm sure you are both attracted to each other, but there's so much more than that."

"You're right. Okay, the attraction thing. I don't know about him, but I think he's the sexiest guy on the planet, and beyond. Always have done. But there is so much more to it than that. He gave me a reason to live on Abydos on the first mission. I so wanted to die and he wouldn't let me. He made me feel, he still makes me feel, like I'm worth something. He always makes me feel like I have some worthwhile contribution to make. Like you, he never treats me like the idiot that some people do, no matter how dumb I play it. He always treats me well, he's so patient with me and I don't deserve it. I've treated him like shit over the last few years and I know it. I was wrong to go after you the way I did, Sam, and I want you to know that I am truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me, please. I do love you, don't get me wrong, I love you so much and far more than I should ever love a teammate. I love Teal'c too, like a brother. I was afraid to love Daniel. I thought he was straight, I didn't want to lose his friendship so I didn't want him to find out that I was in love with him. So I pushed him away and hurt him. I regret that, honestly I do. I won't ever push him away again, I won't let him out of my sight if I can help it. Sam? Do you mind if we stay on the same team? We won't be any different, I promise, we'll still watch your back. When we leave the house, we'll leave our relationship behind. We have to."

"I'd hate to have to break in another CO, you know. And if anyone tries to take my little brother away from me I'll tear them apart with my bare hands. And by the way, I forgive you Jack. As far as I am concerned, you two, Janet and Teal'c are my best friends and I love you all."

We're both getting a bit sniffy now, I'm blaming the wine myself. Daniel comes in, he's looking worried. Oh, it's probably because Sam and I are now blubbing. Ah shit, this is why I never drink wine, I always get emotional when I do. Still, he's holding me tight now, kissing my tears away. He can be so gentle and sweet. Oh boy, Sam and Janet are cuddling too. I wonder? Nah, Danny would have said something, wouldn't he? They're not kissing, not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed. I am such a pervert. No, I'm just a guy. Daniel's giggling and whispering in my ear. Hell, he's got more of a filthy imagination than I have. NO! I could never suggest that to them. He would, I'm sure. I shoot him a 'don't you dare' look to tell him not to. I'd never be able to face them again.

He's climbing over the back of the sofa now and heading back into the kitchen. Jan's going with him.

"Sam. You and Janet, there's nothing I should know, is there?"

She cracks up. "Oh my. No, Jack, we're just best friends that's all. You have a filthy mind."

"Not me, Daniel. His is so far down in the gutter we'll need a potholing team to go and dig it out."

"He didn't say that, I know him."

"You may think you know him, but you don't. No, he didn't say you were having a relationship, but, he made some perfectly depraved suggestions. I think he was joking."

Ha ha ha! Sam's charging off into the kitchen. I can hear her from here.

"Daniel! What on earth were you saying to Jack about Jan and me?"

"I was kidding. You should have seen his face. He used to think I was so innocent."

Janet cracks up at that.

"You? Innocent? Hell honey, I don't know anyone less innocent on the base. And to think you use your baby face to get round everyone."

"Including you Jan?" I've walked into the kitchen and I'm watching the master at work. He's fluttering his eyelashes at her and I can see her going weak at the knees.

"Sure, sweetheart, you can get around me anytime you like."

"You can't get around me like that," Sam puts in. She's made of stern stuff.

"Hmm, I know, angel, but I do know how to get around you." He slips his arms around her waist and - I don't believe what I am seeing! The little fucker's nibbling her neck. Her knees have gone and she's having to be held up. Damn, he's good at that. I wonder what he'll do to get around me? He's looking at me now, his eyes are twinkling and he's licking his lips. Then he does that Lauren Bacall thing, 'the look'. His chin hits his chest and he looks up at me through his top eyelashes - those long, sexy, eyelashes - without moving his head. Fuck, he's got me where he wants me. He is so fucking gorgeous. I sweep him out of Sam's arms, nearly dropping her on the floor in my rush to hold him. He's clinging on to me now, like I'm some sort of lifeline.

"Sorry Jack," he says really quietly, "I shouldn't flirt anymore should I?" Hell, now he's biting his bottom lip.

I just sigh. "Danny, as long as your victim doesn't object, I don't mind. Just come home to me, okay?"

"Always." Now he's giving me a shit eating smile and I feel like I am King of the World!

Better finish dinner, the rice is nearly done. I kiss Jack's cheek and tell him to lay the table. Janet helps me dish out the food and Sam's opening more wine. We are going to get very drunk tonight I can tell. This is already the third bottle. Just as well I bought a case.

Not bad, if I say so myself. Nicely spiced. Jack's tucking in like there's no tomorrow.

"Dammit Daniel, I knew that you could cook, but if you cook like this all the time I think I'm going to have to marry you!" The girls are laughing at that, but even though Jack meant it as a joke, the seriousness of what he says hits us both hard. He reaches out and grabs my hand.

"I know, the law stinks," he says.

We'll never be able to even walk out the door hand-in-hand, let alone make some public affirmation of how we feel. Shit. I want to cry. I rarely cry but I feel so fucking frustrated. It's not his fault but I've succeeded in making him feel guilty. He told me once he always feels guilty, a side effect of being raised a Catholic I think.

"Sorry Jack, perhaps you should have found someone in the military. I don't think I'm ever going to be able to accept the status quo as far as that stupid 'don't ask, don't tell' rule goes. Don't worry, I'll never, ever, tell anyone, I promise."

He reaches up and strokes my face. The girls are quiet, he may have forgotten that they are there.

"Don't want anyone else Danny, only you. Never forget that. And if it comes down to it, the Air Force can kiss my shiny white ass goodbye. No contest. Got that?"

I grin at him and nod and we are both brought back down to earth by some "aw" noises from the other side of the table.

"Sorry ladies," I say, "I'm getting a bit stupid here. I just get so mad at unjust laws, that's all."

Janet answers for them. "Honey, we all get mad at them, it's just that if we speak out, we'll be labelled and possibly dishonourably discharged. Hell, I know you two were kidding about me and Sam earlier, but we often do things together. They could probably find enough circumstantial evidence on us to put us away, even though there would be no reason to. I'd give anything to change that damn rule. We all would."

"Now you see, that's exactly what I don't understand. The military is full of ordinary people, right? Sure, some of them are homophobic, but you get that in the outside world too. I can see why a gay soldier would want to keep his sexuality quiet, for fear of teasing or a damn sight worse, but I can't see why he can't fight for his country. Hell, Alexander the Great was as bent as a butcher's hook and he went off and conquered the known world. I think most people in the forces are like you, not so much as 'don't ask, don't tell' than 'don't give a damn anyway'. And if that is the situation, what difference does it make? In some countries they've changed the laws. Canada, Australia, most of NATO, including Britain accept it. Hell, you don't think that anyone is going to piss off a member of the SAS by having a go at him if he was gay, do you?"

Jack snorted at that one, spreading his rice across the table. He'd spent a long time in special ops, sometimes working with the SAS on joint operations, not that he'd tell me what they were 'cause then he'd have to kill me.

"Oh God, sorry. I was just laughing at the image. No, nobody'd have a crack at them, they're fucking nuts. You think I'm bad. Those guys are incredible. You know the way the Pentagon keeps talking about our operations, you know, leaking some of them to the press because it looks good. Over there, nada. You don't hear a damn thing. You know why? Not just 'cause of the secrecy thing, but because they're lunatics. Good lunatics, but lunatics none the less. And they are good at their job. In, out, you don't know they've been. Until the body count that is. I'm a big fan. They look after their own and don't leave people behind. Good guys." He's gotten a dreamy look on his face, remembering something past I'm sure. Won't ask 'cause he won't tell.

Sam's speaking. "There's plenty of people working on it you know, trying to bring the armed forces up to speed with the rest of the country. Guess we just have to wait for the JCS to join the twenty-first century. There's nothing stopping you two moving in together. They can't ask about it."

"Nice thought, Sam," says Jack, "but this project is so secret we can be bugged and have no comeback. Makes me sick to think about it. Any chance you can devise a bug detector for me?"

"I'll have a go, Jack. After what the NID did to me I'd like to know that what happens in my house is private. Perhaps you can come up with a real good reason to move in together, like when Daniel came back from Abydos."

We're laughing now, trying to find good reasons. Janet reckons that I should be here to look after Jack in his old age, what with senility setting in and all. He comes back with that he needs me here to protect him from marauding majors, especially cute ones with brown eyes and latex gloves and lube. Her eyes are twinkling at that. Her nurses rarely see the mischievous side of Janet, she's a real minx. Love her for that. Sam's lab staff never see her off-duty side, even when she's off duty with them. She rarely gets drunk in public - it's usually at my place or Janet's. Guess we can add Jack's to that. Oops, she slid onto the floor. Jack's nearly wetting himself, he's laughing so hard at her. I go around the table, have to get under it because she's now sitting there, propping herself on Jack's legs.

"Oh Daniel, why don't we just run away together?" she teases me, winking as she does.

"Angel, I think we should, you know, just you and me and a crate of Sauvignon Blanc. What'd you say to that?"

"Love it. Love you Daniel." She's trying not to laugh now, we can hear Jack's laugh turn to a nervous giggle. Okay, the pièce de résistance. A loud, smacking, kissy noise. Mwa, Mwa, kisses on each other's cheeks. Janet's howling with laughter and Jack has just appeared under the table. The look on his face is priceless, he looks so jealous. I just grab his face between my hands and draw him into a kiss. We're talking breathtaking, bone-melting, love-you-till-death, oh-my-God-I-want-you-so-much, oxygen-depriving, sensual, sexy, type of kiss. Sam's now collapsed on the floor, absolutely hysterical. Janet's joined her. I don't care, I'm kissing him as I want to, I'm telling him now that I will never leave him, not ever. If he doesn't believe me now, he never will. He's tapping me on the back, urging me to break the kiss. I do, reluctantly.

He finally regains the power of speech. "Oh my God Danny. Sorry to stop you, but I'd run out of air. I think I forgot how to breathe through my nose."

Janet just has to speak then, doesn't she? "Well, Jack, I can see why you don't want us girls to get our hands on Daniel. Can't blame you for keeping him all to yourself. Hell, honey, I could see the electricity flowing between you. Tell you what, angle cakes, next time there's a power outage, come over to mine. I'll get Sam to hook you two up to the generator and I'll be back in business in no time." Fuck, I'm blushing. I hate it when I do that. Jack's flushed, but that might be the lack of oxygen doing that.

Sam starts laughing again. The incongruity of the four of us under a table has gotten to her. We join in. Dinner was pretty much finished anyway, so now we're crawling back to the living room and bottle number four. Wonder if the girls feel like a game of strip poker? Ow, I wish Jack wouldn't hit me when I suggest something to do. Okay, I have another idea. Word association. I've been in therapy often enough to play it well, but heaven help us if a quack heard us playing at it.

"I'll start," Jack says, hoping that he can steer us wrong to start with. He hates shrinks as much as I do, so he can see where I'm coming from.


"Lead," - Janet

"Follow" - Sam

"Pack" - me


"Water" (As in lead a horse to water, explains Janet. We got it, honestly)





"Fuel consumption" - trust Sam to think of bikes.




"Got some," I say before I think. Sam cracks as does Janet. Jack blushes and I don't know where to put myself. Guess I lost that one.

The game restarted, got even more outrageous. Don't know how we started at 'opera' and got to 'vibrator', that was Janet by the way.

Jack's slowly getting the idea that having the girls over is a lot of fun.

Can't remember when I blushed or laughed so much. Sam and Janet are great to work with, the absolute best in their fields, but here, today, they are fucking amazing. They really don't care when Daniel and I sit together, wrapped up in each other. They are genuinely happy for us. It's adding to my feel-good factor by many powers of ten. After Daniel told me he loved me last night, I didn't believe that life could ever feel better, but sharing the knowledge with two of my best friends is such a good thing.

Tired now, we're going to bed. Daniel tells me that the girls don't always have night clothes when they share with him. He swears nothing untoward has ever happened between them. I believe him. His relationship with them is strange. I mean, he's all man, loves beautiful women, and worships these two, but they treat him like he's one of the girls. Not in a camp, 'he's queer and therefore safe' way, but as someone who understands them and loves them for who they are, not what they are. He's always had the ability to see past gender, unlike a lot of other people, male and female. If someone's good at something, he's never put off because it's a woman good at traditionally male stuff, or the other way around. He accepts their expertise and treats them as a 'mind' and not a body. That's one of the reasons all the women on base love him.

I'm making a resolution to be more like him. I've always tried, honestly. I don't have any problem with women in the forces, I think they help balance us men out, make us think before we act. And they're good at what they do. I do have a problem with them getting hurt. Can't help that, it's a dad thing I think. I was always brought up to be protective of women. I don't think they're weak, I think they're precious. After kids, women are the most precious things we have and we should take care of them. Most of them understand that attitude, but I can see how it can annoy them sometimes. They have to fight so hard to be treated as equals that having someone fuss over them can be seen as undoing all their hard work. I never get so upset if one of the guys gets hurt than if one of the girls does. And it doesn't have to be one that I even know very well. Daniel would put his life on the line for any woman, known to him or not. The difference is, he'd do it for a guy too. I would, but perhaps not as enthusiastically as him. Poor Daniel, he's had so much shit told him and happen to him, that he doesn't see himself as worth as much as anyone else. I'm making a resolution to change that too. Daniel is special. He's unique, truly one of a kind. And it's not just his brain I'm talking about; it's his compassion, his sense of justice, his knowledge of what is right and what is wrong and the fact that he will die for it without a thought. He's the original 'I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it' guy. And I love him for it.

Finished in the bathroom now and we're getting changed and ready for bed. He's only gone into the spare room to say goodnight to the girls. I can hear them, laughing and joking, kissing him goodnight. Sam's teasing him, asking if he's going to keep them warm. No, he's saying, he's gotten himself a colonel to snuggle up to and nothing will keep him from my side.

The door shuts and in he comes. He's wearing boxers and a T-shirt. Never wears anything at home apparently, unless the girls are there with him. He's across the room in a few strides of his beautiful long legs. We're holding on to each other like there's no tomorrow. There won't be. Tomorrow we're back at work and off-world. Our mission means our relationship will have to be shelved. Can't have noisy, messy, sweaty sex tonight, not with the ladies in the next room. Tonight is going to be a quiet one, gentle touches, silent kisses, exploring each other's bodies with our hands and lips. He makes me feel like I am the only man in the world, and I know that for him, I am. I hope he knows that it is the same for me. I think he does. He now knows that I'd leave the military in a heartbeat for him, that the only life I have ever known and loved is worth nothing compared to knowing and loving him. Wow, I really mean that too. I think that the full reality of the situation is only now dawning on us both. We've had hints of it, our heads understanding most of it, but now the full consequences of what our hearts have known for years is catching up with us. Our kisses are getting more frantic, made even more erotic by the fact that we cannot make any noise. Our clothes come off really quickly.

He's reaching for the condoms, I tell him not to bother. He's mine, I'm his, never anyone else. We've both been checked out. After every relationship he's had, Janet's discreetly done an AIDS test on him, anonymously at work and never telling him until tonight. She promised that she would have said something if he had come back positive. Not going to ask him how many, I trust him. He tells me that he's never gone bareback with someone he didn't know was clean, same here, just wouldn't do it. Not worth the risk. But there is no risk for us, so there should be no barriers. He grins, his biggest one yet. I am so hard now, I think I'm going to explode. He gives the lube to me, he wants me inside him. I want that too. Got a job to do first, though. He loved it last night when I went down on him. Should be interesting to see if he can keep quiet when I do tonight.

Oh yeah, he can be quiet when he wants. Moans though, subdued groaning. I look up and see a pillow over his face. It makes me smile, I laugh a little. He's telling me to shut up and get on with it or else. He needs this. He's coming, I brace myself and get ready to take what he's got. I feel the hot liquid hit the back of my throat. Never knew just how much I get turned on by doing this. It used to be a bit of a chore. Liked getting it, only gave it to get it back. Now I want to do it, to make him happy. He's panting, I think the keeping shtoom has taken it out of him. He still wants me. I roll him over, I want to kiss his back, his neck, his shoulders. More muffled moans, I think some of them are from me.

I slick up my fingers and start to open him up. He's building up again. Amazing after all that wine. He's relaxed and ready for me so I get on my knees. This is going to hurt me more than him, that's for sure. I pull him closer, so that he's virtually sitting on my thighs. I'm inside now, and we start rocking together. One of my hands is holding his chest, the other has dropped to his renewed erection. Him and me, me and him, working together, same beat, same drummer, same dance. I love you, I tell him. He tips his head back, I bite his neck, gently so as not to mark his perfect body. He whispers he loves me, over and over again. It's too much for me. I push him down and start slamming into him. He's still saying it. I love you Jack, just you, you're mine, always, loveyouloveyou.

Our tears mingle as we lie face to face. Not tears of sadness, but of overwhelming emotion. He's so beautiful. He's mine.

Ugh. There's a knock on the door. It's one of the girls. Jack is still asleep. I don't believe that. He's always up really early. He has a stupid grin on his face. I make sure we're covered up.

"Hey you, brought you some coffee." It's Sam. She gives me an 'aw, look at him, isn't he cute' look. Yeah, he is. She puts Jack's cup on the table on his side of the bed and comes over to sit on my side.

"You two okay? Things were getting a bit emotional last night."

"Yeah, never felt better in my life." We're both whispering.

"Got to tell Teal'c today."

"It'll be okay. He knows about me, he's cool about it. This won't bother him at all. In fact, I think he'll be surprised that it took us so long."

She's giggling quietly, trying not to wake Jack up. "Jan and I talked about it last night. We came to the conclusion that you two should have been an item for years. We are so happy for you. Just be careful. I don't want any harm to come to you. You use us as alibis if you want, it'll be fine with us. Just let us know as soon as if you do so we can back you up, okay?"

"Sam, we don't want you to lie for us. You'll get into trouble."

"Hey, since when has looking out for your little brother been wrong? Daniel, the four of us, we can do stuff together. If people think that you and I are an item, I'm just saying I won't say anything to disabuse them of the idea. Neither will Janet with Jack. Okay?"

"Won't it screw up your love life?"

"What love life?"

"Ah. Well, if there's ever anything I can do for you on that front, let me know, angel, I'll help you all I can, I promise."

She kisses me on the cheek and goes. Jack opens one eye. "She gone?"

"Yeah, it's safe."

"That's a nice thing the girls are going to do for us."

"They're special. It's Jan's birthday soon, I think we should do something outrageous for her. What do you think?"

"You think too much. But yeah, we should. Perhaps Sam will have an idea."

"Got to be good. I'll do some nosing around. Maybe a male stripper? She'd love something like that."

"Only if it was you doing the stripping."

"Not in front of the nurses, they've seen enough of my butt as it is. No, a professional. I'll talk to Sam."

We drink our coffees, get up, get ready and head down. I love them, they've made more coffee. Janet knows not to feed me till I've had three cups of extra strong. Jack's tucking in to the cooked breakfast she's done for him.

"You know," he says to Jan, "if I'd known that you were this good a cook, especially in the morning, I'd have gone for you and not him." He nods my way. I know I look like crap in the morning.

"Uh uh, I'd have gone for Sam, she brings me coffee."

"So do I."

"She's prettier."


The ladies have left us, giving us a short time together before we have to head off to the weird world of the SGC. We don't have time to do anything, so we just kiss lightly, cuddle, and remind each other of how we feel. We both know that every time we go through the gate, one or both of us may not come back, so I think we'll make a new ritual before every mission. He has to know I love him and I have to know he loves me. We've both got something to come back for now. He sighs, opens the door.

"Coming out?" he asks.

"Think we already did."