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Settled Down 6

mirror, mirror, on the wall...

Summary: The continuing saga of Jack and Daniel. Major J's come to play, I wonder how the boys will get on?
For The Glorious One, happy early birthday from The Evil Cliffhanger Writer. No cliffhanger this time, just for you :-). BTW, read it carefully, you just might recognise a bit.


It had to be her didn't it?

Daniel's face dropped when he saw her, the pain was immediately apparent. He didn't hang around, didn't even say 'hello' to her, he just took off. I yelled to Carter to apologise and headed off after him as fast as I could. He's not in his office so I'm guessing I know where he's gonna be. I was right. His favourite store cupboard.

"Hey Daniel, it's okay. Let it all out. I'm here for you."

"Sorry Jack, so sorry. It was just a shock."

"I know babe, I know. You've had a hell of a few days. So much for a week off, eh? Come on, snuggle up. We'll deal with this together, okay?"

"Of course Jack," he says, getting more into my arms than I thought was physically possible.

I must be holding him tighter than normal because he's just pulled back and he's staring into my eyes.

"Jack? You don't think that I'm going to run off with her, do you?"

"Of course not. I mean, you and me, together forever, right?"

"Damn straight Jack. It's me and you all the way. You got that? I am not throwing away what we've got. Never. You have to believe that."

I do, I do. And if I keep telling myself that I'll start to believe it too.

We have to go. I pick him up off the floor and we walk side by side back to the briefing room. Daniel's body is screaming 'keep away' to those around him. Apart from me, of course. Not that I ever pay attention to that anyway. Some wounds, no matter how old, are just too raw to be touched. With me it's Charlie. With Daniel it's Shau're. It will be this way till the day we die and I know it. He wouldn't be so bad if she had died of natural causes. He'd have been upset, of course he would, but he blames himself for her death and nothing anyone can say will change his mind on that score.

"General, I apologise for my abrupt departure," he says coolly as he walks back in. His brick wall is up. He's unreadable to those that don't know him so well. I wonder if Action Jackson over there is the same? Can Charlie read him the way I can read my Daniel?

"That's quite understandable Doctor Jackson. Are you all right now?"

He forces himself to brighten up.

"Much better, Sir, thank you. I think that Jack's flying got to me - sort of a delayed reaction. I didn't need a single sick bag on the way back," he says with a grin. "I think it took too long for my stomach to catch up with me this time."

"This time?" Hammond asks.

"Please General," I groan. "You don't want to know."

"Neither does that poor pilot you left to fly the Albatross," Daniel retorts. Oh yeah, poor guy.

"Tell you later, Sir," I tell George. I know I'm gonna get interrogated.

"Anyway, down to business," Daniel says. "I'm assuming you want help in returning to your own reality?"

"Actually, we're looking for allies," Kawalsky says. "Ra's building up a fleet and he's going to attack Earth in a matter of days."

The four of us from our reality do a double take. Ra?

"Um, did you say Ra?" Daniel asks.

"Yes," Major Jackson replies. "Don't you have any problems with him?"

"That would be difficult seein' as we nuked him on Abydos," I put in. "Why don't you tell us what happened on the first mission." I can tell Daniel needs to know this and it's killing him because he won't ask. He doesn't want to know where he went wrong.

"Our Colonel O'Neill stayed behind. He set the bomb off. Ra, however, had already taken off - but we only discovered that later."

"Shau're, what are you doing as part of the SGC?" I ask, not a little shaken by the idea that I actually did that.

"Dan-yel took me before they left Abydos," she says. I'm watching her. She is not with her 'Dan-yel' no way. There's no love like there was between Daniel and his Shau're. They're friends, nothing else.

Daniel's shaking a little. He's upset - no, he's not, he's angry. Well, fuckin' furious would be a better description.

"You let Jack kill himself?" he yells at himself. Sorta.

"I followed orders," Major J spits back.

Oh fuck. Daniel's gone into a strop. He's screaming something in Arabic at him and the other him is yelling back. They're facing-off against each other across the table. I don't know what the fuck they're saying but I can guess - something along the lines of 'militaristic mindless robot' and 'pinko liberal loser' or words to that effect. Shit. I do know that word, I've heard it before. It smacks Major Jackson between the eyes.


"Daniel, please, calm down," I've got hold of him, pulling him close to me, rocking him gently. Kawalsky's ordering the other one to back off. The sergeant and Shau're are holding him back.

"He let him die, Jack. Killed everybody there. If they didn't die in the blast they'd have died from the fallout. Kasuf, Skaara, all of them. All of them. Bastards." There are tears of anger in his eyes, he's this close to losing it.

"Shh, I know, I know, it's over now, there's no need to get so upset. Come on, you saved our Kasuf and Skaara and all of them, didn't you?"

"Yes," he croaks. "But at what cost?"

"Colonel," Hammond's calling. "Take him to his office, let him calm down. Perhaps this wasn't a good idea after all. I'm sorry son," he says to Daniel.

"It's okay," he sticks his chin out. Damned defiant. "I'll calm down. I just hate to see people following orders so damned blindly. And it makes me sick that there is a version of me that could have done that." He pulls out of my grasp and sits back on his chair, glaring at the other Daniel as he does.

"Well, this is nice," I say as we sit silently across the table. I get a kick on the shin from Carter. I'll get you later.

"So," Kawalsky says. "What happened to you there?"

I tell him. Tell him how Daniel talked me out of committing suicide, how he saved my life again by taking the blast, how he and Shau're started the rebellion, how we killed Ra together by sending the bomb to the ship, and then how Daniel stayed behind to help them rebuild their society and teach them. Major J is saying nothing. Dr. J isn't either. Carter and Hammond are quiet too, they've never heard the full story. They're getting it now, in spades.

"Dan-yel? What happened to your Shau're?" This Shau're's just as gentle with him now as his own was.

"I made a mistake," he whispers. "I reopened the gate a year later. We found a map room behind the stargate. There were hundreds and hundreds of cartouches with addresses to other gates. Apophis came and took her and she became Amaunet's host. That was until Teal'c had to kill her."

"Who's Teal'c?" Good question - more to the point, where is Teal'c?

"He's our fourth. He was the First Prime of Apophis but he turned on him to save us on Chulak when we went to try and get her and Skaara."

"Skaara? They took my brother?"

"We got him back eventually. The Tok'ra removed Klorel from him. He's back home now with Kasuf. Shau're, if you want, I can take you back to Abydos. My Shau're no longer exists in this reality. You could stay." He's trying not to sound too enthusiastic about the idea. Her team don't look too happy at the prospect.

"You were her husband?" she demands.

"I was." His voice is quiet, almost reverent.

"Would you require that of me now?"

"No! No, sorry, I have someone else. I, I, I couldn't and I wouldn't want that relationship to end. Ever." He looks at me and smiles.

I know what that just cost him. Damn. I can breathe now.

Major J looks horrified. It's just dawned on him who Daniel's with. I'm guessing don't ask etc. still applies to them.

How could he? Just how in hell's name could he have followed orders and let Jack do that? Air Force or not, he shouldn't have done it.

Now I'm over the shock, seeing Shau're isn't so bad. She's very sweet but different from mine. I'm escorting her to the mess hall and we're chatting in Abydonian. Turns out her Daniel hasn't learned the language. He understands her but they never converse in it. She has to live in the mountain, like Teal'c does with us.

The mystery of the missing Jaffa is solved though. As soon as Shau're turned up the General sent him on a mission with SG-6. He didn't want him getting upset. That was the right thing to do. Poor Teal'c will never forgive himself for what he did, no matter how often I forgive him.

Ferretti's in the mess. "Daniel? Is this really Shau're?"

"Um yes, not ours though, of course," I say. He greets her enthusiastically and she seems pleased to see him. Oh, they know each other well in her reality. There's a lot of teasing going back and forth between them.

"Kawalsky's here," I tell him and he says goodbye and shoots off to meet him. He misses him terribly.

"So, you and him, just friends, eh?" I ask her.

"Yes, Dan-yel defied orders and took me through the Chappa'ai."

"Oh great, he had some balls then. I don't know how you can stay with him, Shau're I really don't. He let his O'Neill murder your people."

"He freed them from slavery," she says defiantly.

"My Shau're started the rebellion," I say. "We all defeated Ra together. Jack didn't follow his orders and allowed me to talk him out of doing his job. My only regret, the biggest regret I have in my life is that I lost my Shau're. You must understand that I loved her with all my heart."

"I know, Dan-yel. It is plain to see. As is your love for your O'Neill, ne?"

"Oh yes. He and I have been together for over two years. In fact, very soon we celebrate our second proper anniversary."

I tell her about the joining ceremony on Babylon, about the tattoos and the party, and soon she's squealing with laughter just the way my Shau're would. I don't mind though, it's nice to hear that sound. We're getting funny looks from everyone but I don't care. I'm laughing a lot, she never failed to make me laugh. My Shau're never failed I mean. Damn, this gets confusing sometimes.

Oh great, Major Pain-in-the-ass is coming in.

"I think we should talk," he says to me.

"If you think it's necessary," I reply as coldly as I can. I do not like this man. He's me. He's a side of me I don't like very much.

The more I think of this the more I realise I can empathise with Sam. She detested her civilian self. He probably hates me too. So what.

Shau're goes with the airman that escorted 'him' to find the others and I take him to my office where we can fight in peace.

"Tell me, I've got to know this. Why the fuck did you join up? Wasn't the prospect of a life in academia exciting enough for you?"

"What? No. I got the degrees, Dr. Jackson. I'm a PhD too. I went to Harvard, did the stuff, got my doctorate in linguistics. Then I joined up. I guess I wanted a structured life for once. I was so fed up of being ignored by Mom and Dad, you know how they are, the way they get so wrapped up in their finds. I couldn't bring myself to go on to have anything to do with field archaeology."

"Mom and Dad? Your parents? Your real parents?"

"Of course, what are you going on about?"

"You fucking ingrate! How dare you say that about them? For fuck's sake don't you realise how lucky you are? The one Jackson that gets to keep his parents and Shau're and what do you do? Join the fucking Air Force and don't marry her. What are you, nuts or something?"

"What do you mean 'keep my parents'?"

"You find another one of us, Daniel, and you will soon discover that for most of us our parents are dead. I saw them getting killed when I was eight years old. Crushed to death. Not pretty I can tell you."

He's pretty shaken by this revelation.

"Do you want me to go on? Do you want to know what sort of life most of us have had?"

He nods.

"I was rejected by that old bastard Nick, he didn't want to drag me around the world - not good enough for him I guess. Instead I was passed from one set of foster parents to another, no one wanted to keep me. Couldn't cope with a freaking genius. When I finally got some parents that could cope they were killed in a plane crash."

"Hence your dislike of flying, I guess," he says quietly, starting to understand.

"That's part of it. I stayed in academia. I went on to Oxford, got an MA in anthropology there and taught for a couple of years. Then I went to the Oriental Institute. Got my second PhD in archaeology there. Taught there too. Till I made the leap of faith needed to understand the cross-pollination of ancient cultures. I was ridiculed, cut down, thrown out of the discipline for daring to believe that I could be right and 'they' were wrong. I'll never be able to work again out there - at least not until the stargate is known anyway. I opened the gate. I stopped Jack killing himself. Do you know why he stayed?"

He shakes his head.

"Charlie, his son. Dead. Killed himself accidentally with Jack's gun not long before the mission. Jack didn't really want to die, he just needed a reason to live and for someone to bring him home."

He drops his head now, I guess he sees why I'm so pissed off with him. He's mumbling an apology at me, but I don't want it. I'd rather have my parents back. Ah well, I've got a job to do so I'm going to do it whether he likes it or not. See just what the geek can do, Major.

"We've wiped out the System Lords," I tell him. "We have mother ships."

Whoa! That got his attention.


I tell him as quickly as I can about what happened. We are running out of time after all. Then I pull off a list of co-ordinates from my computer - ones that could possibly help them in their search for allies. The ones to the Asgard are their best hope of course. I tell him about Jack and Thor and how they get on so well.

"You and O'Neill, you're a bit obvious. Doesn't anyone care?" he asks.

"We don't have to hide. Everybody knows about us. They changed the law for us."

"For you personally?" Whoo ya, he's stunned now.

"Yes. Well, because of Jack. It affects everyone of course. They didn't want him to leave. Our allies wouldn't allow it either. We're married."

That cracks him up but I can hear pain too. Aw fuck. Now he's got me feeling sorry for him. What is the matter with me? Do I have to be such a soft touch?

"Paul?" I ask quietly. He nods. Of course. Without the spectre of Jack over him he would have made more of an effort with Paul. It can't be easy for him.

"We were together for about six months. He's a very close friend now. He lives openly with one of Jack's ex-boyfriends."

"One of the Colonel's exes? You're joking."

"No. Jack's like us, Daniel, I didn't seduce him or anything. We both went for years thinking the other one was straight. After all, he was married, I was married, I guess it would look like that. It didn't dawn on either of us that the other one could be bi too. It was only an act of courage on Jack's part that revealed the secret. He risked everything to tell me. He just wanted to prove that I could trust him. He's fucking incredible, you know? A real hero."

"Your hero?" he asks with a grin.

"Oh yes. Definitely. My hero." Okay, I know I sound dopey but it's true, he is. "I loved Shau're - still do, I'll never stop, but Jack - well, it's different. I can't breathe without him. What about you? Ever married?"

"Hell no. Not interested in women at all, though I'd appreciate you keeping that quiet." That's a surprise, I can't imagine not liking women. I prefer guys, yeah, but no women? Nah.

"I'll back off, but I'm not hiding my relationship with Jack."

"Can't you do it for a day?"

"Why should I?" I'm shouting - again! "Have you any idea what sort of crap we have to put up with? Look at this!"

I pull up my T-shirt, show him my chest and he winces.

"Just got beaten up because of it the other day. It's not the first time. I don't appreciate being forced to hide anymore. I'm sure you can understand."

"Didn't he stop it happening?" he's reaching out, touching the bruises gently.

"He didn't see it happening. I stopped it as soon as I could. Threatened to snap one of the guys' necks. I've done it before, I could do it again."

"You've killed?" Well that amazed him. What does he think I am? A weakling? A coward?

"More times than you could begin to imagine. Three bodies with my bare hands though. That's always the worst."

Before he can answer there's a knock at the door and I call 'enter'. It's a breathless Paul.

"I heard the news. Way hay, a Daniel in uniform and one with wings. I never thought I'd see the day."

I push the door shut and give him a hug. I'm so glad to see him, he never fails to bring out my better humour. "You see me in cammos often enough."

"True, and those tight desert cammies you have - woo hoo baby - but my dress blues were too small for you to try on I seem to remember." His eyes are twinkling at me and he's making me laugh again.

Daniel is looking stunned. Of course, he and his Paul have to keep very quiet. My Paul and I still flirt like mad.

"I take it we know each other in your reality," Paul says to him.

"You could say that," he says with a smirk.

"How long have you been together?" I ask.

"Four years."

"Damn," Paul says, "better than us. Are you pissy in the mornings if you don't have coffee?"

"I don't drink coffee," he says.

We do a double take. Paul looks stunned. I look worse to tell the truth.

"He's not a Jackson," I say. "Not possible. Don't drink coffee? Nah. Definitely not one of us."

"Well, I can see why the other me is holding on to you then. This one's a pain in the butt till he's had three cups at least."

"Hey, I resemble that remark! Besides, all rumours to effect that I'm a sweet-natured and what was the latest one, um, oh yes, adorable creature are absolutely way off the mark. Just ask my staff."

"I don't have to, babe," Paul teases. "Ask the marines. Oy, when he and the Colonel, um, disagree, sparks flying doesn't cover it. Supernova would be closer."

"True enough," I agree. "But the make-up sex later is mind-blowing."

I don't believe it, there's laughter coming from Daniel's office. I know the Major is in there with him. Ah well, Daniel can make friends with anyone I guess. A quick knock and I go in.

"Jack," my Daniel smiles at me. Down boy.

"Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine," he says and puts his arms out for a hug.

"Hi Paul, should have known you'd come running. What, have you got some sort of twins fantasy?" I tease, not letting Daniel go.

"Hmm, I wonder if there's another Josh out there? I'd have thought that twin Daniels would be your thing."

"Hell no, got my hands full with this one. If I had another one I'd never be able to walk again."

"You wouldn't if I had my way anyway," Daniel replies with a leer. Nah, he can't leer as well as me. He can flirt though. Down, I tell you, down boy.

"Come on, the General wants you up in the briefing room."

"Shi-it Jack, I hope that's not 'wants' as in your little briefing room fantasy." What the fuck has got into him? I can see I'm going to be busy when I get him home.

"Grrr, move it or lose it Jackson," I growl.

"Lost it over twenty years ago, babe," he teases with a wink. Oh God, I'm gonna have my hands very full. Can't wait. Woo hoo!

"Jack, we have to tone it down out there though," he nods over at the Major who's sitting a bit shellshocked at our interaction. Oh, of course.

"Still got the stupid law?" I ask. He nods. "Nuts. Okay, we'll keep it down but everyone knows about us so I can't promise it won't come out. I don't know about that sergeant you've got but I doubt Kawalsky would say anything if he knew. Shau're probably couldn't give a shit."

"She wouldn't," my Daniel says. "She guessed about you and me straight away."

"She does know. Ken, um, Sergeant Morgan knows too," Jackson says. "He, um, walked in on my Paul and me once. He won't say anything though, he's a great guy. Good friend. We've backed each other up hundreds of times. I haven't told the Colonel though, wouldn't want to find out if he had a problem with me."

I can relate.

"Is Hammond your boss?"

"Yeah, great guy."

"He'll be okay then. He'll give you an out if it comes to it. He knew about us from the word go. I told him."

"Wow! That took guts."

"Not really, as you say he's a great guy. Besides, Daniel's more important to me than my job, it was pretty easy to make the decision to tell him."

"I can't make that decision. Paul's career military, much more so than I am. I wouldn't do that to him." Ya know, Major J doesn't sound so bad after all. Even if he does follow too many orders.

We're heading back up to the briefing room. After the initial spat the Jackson twins are starting to get on - and they're turning loads of heads. Well they would. Daniel's in his 501s and the black T - the tight ones he wore last night. WOOF. And the other Daniel - well, I've seen my Daniel in cammies often enough, but this one - wow. Doesn't need glasses, his hair is cut tight back and neat. Not quite military but really smart. And his uniform, wow - his uniform 'fits' ya know? Everywhere. Damn. That twins fantasy? I'm gonna have a few uncomfortable nights I can tell.

"Ya know what really sucks," I say to no one in particular in the elevator. "I'm dead again. I was rather hoping with a Daniel there I'd be alive. I mean, the only live O'Neill I've ever met was that one where we found the mirror that Yu's troops took. And he was as miserable as sin."

"Only till I pretended to be his Daniel and kissed him. He cheered up then. Besides, I met you on the first trip through," Daniel says sweetly. "You know, the one where you were the general and you were engaged to Sam."

Major Dan looks wide-eyed at that.

"True enough Daniel, but I seem to remember that you talked him into sacrificing himself."

"Only to save the planet, Jack," he says innocently.

"This planet Daniel, not his. How long did he know you?"

"A couple of hours I guess," he replies sweetly. Then he turns to his twin and says, "If you ever meet an O'Neill, smile at him. Even if he's straight or thinks he is, it'll work. Lick your lips and he'll drink your bath water if you ask him."

"That is so not true," I complain. "It takes at least some eyelash fluttering and maybe a 'Jack please,' before I stoop that low."

Huh. I've got to retain some shred of dignity. And you can shut up, MAJORS.

"Can't tell me to shut up, Jack dear," Daniel smiles at me. "I've been, um, sort of drafted," he explains.

Oh yes, this was a good one - another change of rules and regulations and procedure. Gave me the horrors I can tell you. As a civilian consultant, he was granted a nominal rank of colonel. This is normal practise. However, we have so many civilians around that they couldn't all be the same. So, they decided to rank the civvies. Daniel got the colonel rank officially because he's the most senior civilian and the head of the anthropology department. It's not precisely military but he gets all the rights and privileges associated with the rank. Those underneath him are ranked according to their status, everything from lieutenants up. If Daniel wanted it he could actually ask everyone to call him 'colonel'. He's the only one granted that privilege because of his special status; i.e. the General and the President think the sun shines out of his ass. He's explaining this to his counterpart. Not the sun shining bit - obviously.

"So I've got to call you 'Sir'?" he squeaks. Davis is trying not to laugh his socks off.

"Well, technically, but I hate that so no. Besides, it would be just too weird. However, there's someone in here that I might force to, just to spite." He's glaring at Davis.

"Bitch," Paul snaps.

"Now, now, Major," Daniel says with a grin. "Is that any way to talk to a superior officer?"

Ooh Davis is good. "Colonel you may be, baby, but superior?"

The elevator door opens to the sight of Major J and myself trying to get out as quickly as possible and Daniel and Paul pretending to throttle each other. Hammond's there. He doesn't say a word, he just shakes his head and walks to the briefing room.

"Jack? Are those two always like that?" Kawalsky asks as he looks at the battling duo.

"Oh yes. In fact they're behaving themselves today. Get them away from work and sparks fly."

"Colonel, Daniel gave me a list of addresses. We should make tracks as soon as possible," Major J says. I think he's scared that Kawalsky will guess about him and his Paul.

"Why, so you can get back to your Major Davis?"

Oh boy. Daniel's gone white. He's shaking. "W.w.what do you mean?" My Daniel and Paul are right by his side, getting ready to battle on his behalf if I know them.

"Aw come on Dan, how long have we known each other? What do you think I am, some sort of idiot?" Kawalsky's prompting.

", no, of course I don't. You know I don't. How many times have I told you that?" Hell, he sounds like my Daniel with me.

"It's okay. I've known for ages Dan, I couldn't give a shit. You're a great guy, so is he. You keep it discreet, you don't rub our faces in it, so I don't care. I'm not going to say anything anyway. Think about it, I'd be shooting myself in the foot. You're the best damned second I've ever had and Davis is the best liaison the SGC has ever had too. If you two went the programme would go under and Earth would be screwed."

"Told ya," I say to him. Well, I knew Kawalsky. He was one of the few that ever knew about me. I told him once when I was feeling really low, and really drunk. He didn't even blink. Poor 'Dan' is bright red and shaking. Daniel and Paul are trying to calm him down before we go in.

We get back into the room and sit down. I tell them what I've been doing for the last couple of hours.

"I contacted Thor, explained the situation. He'll be here soon and he'll have something for you to take with you. When you get back, dial up the co-ordinates that Daniel's given you, the ones to Cimmeria and head for that hall, you know Daniel, where you first met him. Will you pass on the details of how to find it?" He nods. Good.

"These Asgard, they'll help?"

"They're your best hope. Look, we've met loads of different aliens but these guys have helped us out the most. They're good. Don't let appearances fool you. They're small but they're technologically way superior to us."

Carter's speaking. "How did you start to travel through the gate system without the addresses?"

"Our Carter devised a cold-dialling program. We have eight teams and we keep reasonably busy. One or two trips a month," Kawalsky says.

"We've got thirty-two teams and we each go out at least once a week if we can," I say.

They look stunned. Hammond has a think and then asks Carter to download all the co-ordinates that she can and Daniel to get as many mission reports as he can. Carter and Morgan disappear, Daniel goes to his office, Davis shoots off to help him too. Oh, and the other Daniel. Well, I guess they're getting on all right now. Time to have a little talk with Shau're I think.

"I need a coffee," I grouch. Okay, I know I'm grouching but it's been at least an hour since I had one and I'm shattered. It's late, very late, and these missions are taking forever to download. We're sticking as much information as we can on CD ROMs. We figured that that would be the easiest way to transport the reams of data we have. I've got every computer in my department with a CD burner at work, and I've strong-armed the staff that couldn't escape quick enough to help out.

"Okay," Paul replies. "Let's get this next CD started and then we can go to the mess. You're out of coffee Daniel."

I am? Oh God. Tragedy.

Great, it's starting, so we drag Daniel with us. He's asleep on his feet. In fact all three of us are. Hmm coffee. They've just put a new pot on. I'm convinced that Mrs. Isaacs has bugged my room because whenever I turn up in the commissary there's fresh coffee.

"Three coffees?" asks the lady behind the counter. I don't know her, she must be new, her badge says she's called Joanna. However, she seems to know me.

"No, just two. Daniel, what do you want?"

"Tea," he gasps. "Lots of tea."

In which case he's lucky. Since the other nations have joined us the standard of tea has improved a thousand percent. He sticks his nose in the mug.

"Good tea." He sounds like me before coffee. Heh, heh.

The three of us are crashed at a table, face down in our mugs, trying to inhale enough caffeine to wake up. Some military guys are in, I can't open my eyes far enough to figure out who they are.

"Oh fucking great," one of them mutters. "As if one freaking Jackson wasn't enough we've got two. Should keep the Colonel very warm at night."

That woke us up. Daniel looks up and raises an eyebrow in a way that I know means trouble. Paul's back has stiffened and he's sitting bolt upright. His 'danger' signal. Oh shit. Time for motormouth to take over.

"Ooh look, that's something you don't see every day," I say loud enough for the pricks to hear.

"What's that Daniel?" Paul asks through gritted teeth.

"Talking bollocks." I wipe up the tea that Daniel has just spat over my face. Thanks a lot pal. Seems he understands the idiom despite never going to Oxford.

"I'd have said an 'ignoranus' myself," replies Paul with a grin.

"An ignoranus? What's one of those?"

"An idiot and an asshole combined," he says straight-faced.

Daniel's trying not to laugh but at least the big mouth has shut up.

"Time to get back to work," I mutter. "Better get a refill first. I don't know how I'm going to stay awake tonight. I'm getting old, not used to pulling allnighters anymore."

Mumbles of agreement from the majors follow me to the coffee pot and we fill up our mugs and head back.

"Sam?" She's just staggered through the doorway looking worse than she did the day after her fortieth birthday party. Or was that the day after that? Can't remember. Can't remember much about that time come to think.

"Coffee. Need coffee."

"Me too, angel. We're gonna make it though, you see if we don't."

"Huh. Easy for you to say. I'm seeing co-ordinates in front of my eyes."

"That's what you're supposed to be seeing."

"In the commissary?"

Okay, she's got a point.

No no more. Can't take any more. Oh four hundred and all is not well. Wanna sleep. Wanna warm and hairy colonel. Ja-ack.

Paul's sayin' somethin'. "That's it you two, bed."

"Is that a proposition?"

"Daniel, you've not got much sleep over the last few days, you've been hauled around in your least favourite form of transport - twice - and you've had to deal with the bitch from hell. Sleep now."

"Don't talk 'bout my Sammy like that. She's nice. She'll beat you up for sayin' that."

"Daniel got beaten up Paul, some big pricks hit me, him, oh fuck." See, issss not juss me tired. Other me's tired too.

"Oh crap. Daniel, are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine, beat them at their own game. Don' worry, I won. Where's my pillow?"

"Hang on babe, I'll call him. And I wasn't calling Sam a bitch. Huh. Great, now he'll tell her and she'll kill me. How fast can I dial up another planet?"

I just got a phone call from Paul. I was trying to sleep in our quarters - lonely as hell too. He says Daniel wants me. Well, he's got me. I'm on my way.

"What's up?" I ask Paul who's on his last legs.

He nods at the couch. Two sleepy Daniels curled up. Aw, don't they look cute?

"J'ck? 'Syou?"

"Yeah babe, it's me. Come on, let's get you to our quarters shall we?"

"Can't gotta finish the job."

"You can finish it later. Nap time now. Come on, I can't sleep alone, you know that."

"Oh 'kay."

He puts his hands up and I pull him up. Poor thing is out on his feet.

"Paul, do yourself a favour and snuggle up with the other Daniel. Josh will understand and I'm guessing your counterpart won't mind too much."

Another sleepy nod and he stumbles over there and lies down with Major J. Arms are wrapped around each other and they're out for the count.

It's not easy steering a fast asleep Daniel as we walk, stumble and generally futz our way to our quarters. At last, we're here. I lay him down, pull his shoes off and lay down next to him. Hmm, lovely. Got my teddy bear, I can sleep now.

Ugh. Morning. Or rather - FUCK - 1000 hours! Come on Daniel. Got to get up. Shower now. Come on. No, don't fall asleep on me again. Come on, that's it. Boy, am I glad that Hammond recently gave us one of the VIP suites as our joint quarters. We get our own shower. That's it. Wake up time. No, not on base, you know the rules.

We get dressed as quickly as we can and head off to the mess to grab a coffee. No point in going to work without one. Major J is in there, as is Paul. Both of them seem to be having the same idea as us. Caffeine, slurp, back to work. We have to get Kawalsky's team back to the mirror in the next few hours just in case we come up against trouble.

"So," Major Dan says. "I'm guessing life's a lot better for you now. What with the law change and all."

"We still get people mouthing off at us as you saw last night, but they're on even shakier ground if they do."

"Oh for fuck's sake, who's been having a go now?" I demand.

"Shh, Jack, it's okay. We stopped them dead with a few words. That's all it was, honest. Come on, you know one of the best things about being openly gay is that I get away with pampering my inner bitch."

"Daniel, you used to do that anyway," I tell him.

He smiles and shrugs and Davis laughs.

Okay - the news. Thor turned up and suggested that I visit the Hall of Thor's Might on the grounds that I can be pretty persuasive. He's given me something to show to the other him in the hope that it will help. We obviously can't take Teal'c which is a bit of a bummer. Not to mention that he's off-world with SG-6. I still don't want to go to Yu's world without him. However, we don't want him to bump into Shau're. This is going to cause a problem. Especially as someone is bound to say something to him when he gets back. I don't know what to do.

Can't tell them that though obviously. Okay O'Neill, time for your usual BS. Wing it flyboy.

"General, Sir, we need to recall Teal'c if we're going to Yu's place. I don't want to go with part of my team missing. My suggestion is that Shau're stays here. If you can send the co-ordinates to SG-6 perhaps they can meet us on Yu's home world. We can tell him about Shau're later if necessary."

"I'd like him to come back to Abydos with me," Daniel says. I get it - this is for closure. If Teal'c can take her home then maybe he can forgive himself too.

Shau're agrees to this plan. There's no point in her going to the mirror. It would put her in danger for nothing. Kawalsky, Jackson and Morgan are sad at losing her but they understand. Daniel's explained to her that there are no guarantees that Kasuf will accept her, though he's pretty certain that things will go all right. I found out why she was on SG-1 last night. She's very smart and learned Goa'uld very quickly. She wouldn't go out without Jackson, and Kawalsky was happy to have her on the team. She's very resourceful, a lot like Daniel in many ways. Kawalsky told me that she balanced the military side really well. Again, like Daniel. He's going to miss her like fuck I can tell but she doesn't belong out there. She told me that herself. This is her decision in the end. She was given the options and she chose. Can't argue with that.

Mom has turned up, causing a little hilarity when she barged into the briefing room, hugged the shit out of 'her boys' and Sam and then made a huge fuss of Shau're and Major J. Then she spent the rest of the briefing flirting with George. I dunno.

We're in the gear up room. Some new guys are in here, they don't know us. Can't tell who we are as we're all pretty much undressed at the moment.

"You're one of those civilian-types, aren't you?" one of them asks Daniel.

"My, you're observant," he drawls.

"Well, I think I want me a piece of that sweet civvy ass. Now that the rules have changed and all."

I'm about to beat the crap out of this guy when Daniel says, "Just who the fuck are you?"

"What difference does it make to you? What civilian can tell the difference between a sergeant and a major?" Some of his friends laugh at that. Hmm. I think I'll watch how this plays out. Daniel likes to deal with pricks himself.

"It makes all the difference, lieutenant," he snaps.

"Hey, I'm a major," comes the indignant reply.

"Not for long," Daniel says coldly. The other guys give a nervous laugh. "And you can call me 'colonel'."

The major goes white as a sheet and then Daniel adds the killer blow.

"And you can call him 'colonel' too. Colonel O'Neill. Second in command of this facility. My best friend. And someone who doesn't appreciate talk like that one bit. Lieutenant."

I said he was a cool one, didn't I? Well, I'm not.

"Report to my office when I get back Major, er, Brinks, and we'll discuss your, eh hem, promotion prospects. Coming Daniel?"

"Whoo yeah, let's go and shoot some snakes," he says with a grin - looking directly at the big mouth.


We're all in the gate room. Shau're and Paul are here too to say goodbye. There's lots of tears - even Kawalsky is sniffing. I can see that Dan has something on his mind.

"Paul," he calls, "I'm sorry, but I have got to do this."

Whooee. He's just grabbed him and he's laying a huge kiss on him. Right here on the ramp. He's got to be slipping the tongue in. I know the look that Paul gets when he's kissed like that, I used to do it often enough to him myself. Damn, say what you like, Paul is one hell of a kisser. Great in bed too. Hmm. Nah, not thinking like that anymore. Got me a colonel, gone up in the world. Lots of catcalls and whistles are going up and Kawalsky looks like he's going to wet himself.

"Sorry Paul," Dan pants as he finishes. "I'll never get a chance to do that in my own reality."

Paul's laughing his head off but I can hear the pain that he's feeling for him too. We all are.

"That's okay, I understand. You tell the other me to take care of you, okay? Find a way of letting us know how things work out."

A brief hug and it's time to go.

"Paul," I say. "Stick around. I think I'm going to need your help."

Oh, oh, shouldn't have said that.

"Daniel? What are you planning now?" Jack's growling.

"Oh nothing yet. Just thinking."

"Well don't. When you think I get into trouble."

"Not this time Jack, honest. I might but..." I let it hang. It's wormhole time.

Thank God for that. Teal'c and SG-6 are here already. SG-18 have come with us too. The SAS. Heh, heh. Jack's in his element and Colonel John is putting up with him. So, we've got two teams of Special Forces (which is basically what the SG-1s are, sort of), a team of marines and a team of SAS. This could be fun.

"We had to fight our way to the gate," Kawalsky's saying. "So we'll likely have to do that to get in."

Jack looks at me and shrugs.

"I should be able to get in without that," I say. "Where is the mirror being held?"

"In a lab-type building over by the main complex. Just how are you going to get in?"

"I have ways," I say and get out the Goa'uld voice thingy that Jack brought for me. We discussed a plan earlier and he guessed I'd be okay to do this. I'm not going to like it though.

"Follow me then," Kawalsky says and we head off.

As we go I tell Teal'c about Shau're. As predicted he's upset. You can tell he's upset. His eyebrows have furrowed. Not good at all. I also tell him that I want him to come to Abydos with me to take her home. We're getting funny looks from the others because we're huddling together as we walk and speaking in the Chulakian dialect. I try to convince him, yet again, that it's okay and that we're okay. For the first time I use the Chulakian term 'my brother' which has a great deal more meaning behind it than the English version. It means more than blood. It means more than family. It's a choice, a choice that says 'you are more important to me than my honour, my life, my soul. When it comes down to it, I choose you.' It brings Teal'c up sharp and he stops dead. The others are staring at us but I don't care. Teal'c comes first right now. He puts down his staff weapon and pulls me into an embrace, holding me close and calling me by the same phrase. He's finally got it.

We break apart, he picks up the staff weapon and we head back out, leaving everyone else trailing in our wake. After his last words we've said nothing. We never need to say anything to each other again. We will, of course we will, but words are no longer necessary. Jack looks at me and I give him my 'tell you later' look. He nods and leaves it at that. Sam has an idea, I think, but she's staying quiet too. The four of us close ranks and walk side by side. Our usual formation if we don't have to do the single file one. Teal'c on the left, then Sam, then me, then Jack on the right. We walk in time with each other, saying nothing but bound inextricably as a team. When one is missing we feel it, feel terrible like a limb is gone. I needed Teal'c back on the base yesterday but putting him through that without talking to him first would have hurt him badly so I wouldn't ask.

We're getting close to our goal so we have to go into our combat mode. Jack takes point, then Sam, then me, then Teal'c watching our backs. We did this without a word. The other teams fall into their customary positions and according to the orders that Jack gave earlier (they all listened to him without question) they let us go ahead and watch over us as we go.

I switch on the voice wobbler (I have no idea what it's really called. One of these days I'm going to ask someone). A group of Jaffa are guarding the entrance. We don't know why they're still here and not at home with their families. Perhaps a lesser Goa'uld is ruling here now? We'll have to find out later. I call out to them to stand down in Goa'uld, my voice sounding like that of a System Lord. It does its job and unnerves the guard. Teal'c yells at them, asking if they were deaf. Did they really want to incur my wrath? They're confused. They can see that we're in the uniform of the Tauri but I sound like one of their gods. Sam stands right next to me as does Teal'c. We're hoping that the Jaffa won't detect that I don't have a symbiote, that their senses will be thrown by the naquada in Sam's blood and Junior.

So far, so good. I've got a zat in my pocket if it doesn't pan out.

One of the Jaffa asks who I am. This time I'm prepared, no more Great and Powerful Oz, and I call out that I am Coeus, a Titan like Cronus and the god of intelligence (well, why not?).

He's not convinced and asks how I have the Tauri serving me. I have to play the cheesed off snakehead now. I don't want to but I have to. I speak again in Goa'uld.

*"That is not for you to know. I have no time for this. Jaffa,"* I look at Teal'c and say, *"kill him."*

I didn't really want it to come to this but one death would be far better than lots of them. Teal'c points his staff weapon at the other guy, the Jaffa at the gate raise theirs. There's some sort of Mexican standoff when I yell back to the others to come out. They do, play their roles brilliantly and surround me, pointing their weapons at the Jaffa on the gate. The Jaffa now realise that they are hopelessly outnumbered. I still have something to do though if we're going to get the mirror out of here without any trouble. I so do not want to do this but now I know I must or our little charade is over.

I nod that the mouthy Jaffa should be brought to me. He's forced to his knees in front of me. I hate this, I really, really hate this. Poor Teal'c, you don't need to sacrifice your soul to save mine. I have none. It's gone. If there was anything left before, it has gone as I look at the body of the Jaffa whose neck I have just snapped.

I have to keep at this, keep up the charade, the little game. FUCK. I hate this. I hate being the one that has to do this. I hate killing at all let alone in cold blood, but if I didn't the Jaffa would have seen me as weak, disbelieved our story and there would have been a bloodbath. More would have died. I don't even want one Jaffa to die. Fuck it, this is so fucking screwed. I have to keep a stony face.

The remaining Jaffa drop their weapons. No Tauri could have done what they just saw. Of course we can, they have just been told we can't. I wouldn't win a punch up with one I know, but you only have to know what you're doing to kill. I look at Jack and he nods shallowly, telling me that I did the right thing. I know I did. But sometimes the right thing is the wrong thing too. Just look at Major Jackson, following orders, doing the right fucking thing and letting his Jack die and all the people of Abydos.

We march through the gate, SG-18 taking point, SG-6 have our sixes and the two SG-1s are side by side. Daniel and I are getting funny looks but I don't pay any attention to them.

We've found the lab and the mirror. We don't have time to take it back before the other SG-1 starts getting sick so we'll go through it and leave the others to take the mirror to the SGC. I pull out the dial. We just have to hope that the mirror in their SGC is on and the one which is either in that lab on the original planet or their version of Yu's planet isn't. We have no idea how they'll get home otherwise. After all, which one would it be?

I turn the dial and we finally get one with a worried-looking Major Carter and an even more worried-looking Major Davis. I nudge Daniel and say that this has to be the one. He looks closely and agrees. He'd written the Arabic for 'home' in chalk on the wall. Teal'c wants to come through with us but Jack takes him to one side.

"Teal'c, I want you with me buddy, God knows I do, but I need you to make sure this mirror gets home. Without Daniel there could be a battle. This mirror cannot stay here or get damaged or we'll never get back home. I need you to do this pal. Besides, we're off to Cimmeria and you can't go there, you'll only get zapped and we don't have time for that."

Teal'c sighs but he understands. I call out to him,

"Teal'c, I need to you take care of Shau're for me back at the base. Mom will help but I want you to make sure that no one hits on her, okay? She needs a bodyguard and there's no one I trust more with her. Will you do that for me please?"

"I will do as you ask Daniel. No one will lay a finger on her, you have my word."

"I've never needed more than that Teal'c. We'll be back in a couple of days and when we get back, we're going to Abydos to party hard. Okay?"

"That will do nicely," he says with a grin.

Goodbyes are said and we step through the mirror.

Daniel's started to shake as we step into the other reality.

"Daniel? You going to be okay?"

"Whoo ya, you know me, just love doing that sort of thing. Excuse me a moment please," and he legs it out of the room we're in and heads for the nearest toilet.

He's going to hurl I just know it. Shit, damn, fuck. I wish he hadn't had to do that. I could've got Major Jackson to play the role but I don't think he'd have been as cool somehow. I don't know why. Perhaps it's because I know and trust my Daniel to do things. I don't know this other version of him.

I'm stroking Daniel's back as he throws up. Just as well I don't have a weak stomach, that's all I can say. I don't know how many times I've seen him like this. He hates it when I do. Before he's really aware that I'm there I scoot out and find Carter.

"Carter, you're on," I say. She knows. He needs his big sister.

"What's wrong with him?" Kawalsky's asking.

"He's throwing up. He often gets like this after doing that," I shrug.

"He told me he's killed with his bare hands before," Dan says calmly.

"He has, just hates it that's all. Look, Daniel's never let us down, not once. He's the bravest man I have ever met in my life. He had no training for this when we started, he'd never even held a freaking gun in his life. If he can walk away from a fight he will. Don't you go thinking he's a coward, he's not, he's a sort of pacifist. He'll fight and kill to save life and only to save life. He can't justify fighting for any other reason. Don't you dare think he's weak. Other people have made that mistake. Some of them are alive to know they were wrong. Some of them. But because he's prepared to kill don't think he enjoys it. He doesn't, it makes him sick."

"Why didn't you ask me?" Major J asks.

"Because I don't know you and I don't trust you. I know Daniel and I trust him with my life. It's that simple."

He looks like I've smacked him in the face. Tough. I love Daniel not Major Dan. How many times have I wished that Daniel was more like me? More military. Huh. That stops and it stops now. I don't like his counterpart particularly. I mean, I do, he's okay, but he's cold, much colder than Daniel. Speaking of whom...

"Sorry about that. Shall we go? We've got to get to Cimmeria if we're going to meet Thor."

Hell, Major J may be cold, but Dr. J is as cool as the proverbial cucumber. Looks like we're shipping out.

Their Hammond is there to greet us as we walk to the gate room.

"Colonel Kawalsky, would you do the honours?" he asks as he looks at the three of us. Daniel's still looking distinctly green.

"Of course, Sir. This is Colonel Jack O'Neill, leader of SG-1 in their reality," Charlie pauses for effect as the name rings a bell with Hammond. The General however is a cool customer himself and he returns my salute.

"This, of course, is Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill's second, and this is Dr. Jackson - or is that Colonel?" he asks with a grin.

"Doctor is fine, Charlie. My friends call me Daniel, Sir," he adds to Hammond. Damn, the General's as gone on him as ours is. I guess he's pretty fond of his SG-1 too.

"Pleased to meet you all and welcome to our SGC. Where is Shau're?"

We leave that for Major J to explain.

"She's staying there, Sir. Things happened differently there. She has a family to return to. Daniel will take her home."

Hammond looks at him and I think that Daniel is going to play the straight card here.

"She was my wife in our reality, General. My Shau're is dead. Kasuf, her father, will I'm sure welcome her as his own. I'll explain things to him when I take her back. I'm sorry to take her from you like this but she doesn't belong on Earth."

Hammond nods, not a little surprised I think. He must have guessed about his Daniel too.

"General, we need to leave now. We are hopeful of getting you some powerful allies but we have to go now. I wish to leave my Major Carter here," she starts to complain but I cut her down. "Sam, you need to help them get the co-ordinates up and running. They don't even have an Alpha site. Come on, if this doesn't work they're going to need somewhere to go."

She nods, scowling.

"And I know I'm going to have to make it up to you when I get back," I add.

"Too right," she says. "Take care of him." She nods over at Daniel. Of course, she's still in big sister mode.

"As if I wouldn't," Daniel says with a grin, getting a poke in the arm from her for that.

"You have forty hours, Major. If we're not back by then, go home."

"No Sir, I'm waiting."

"No Major, you're going. If we're not back by then we won't be coming back. You know that. Now go, shoo, and do whatever it is you scientists do."

Kawalsky tells Morgan to work with the Carters and they shoot off with the General's permission. Hammond then barks out orders for some supplies to be brought at the double. I have no doubt they'll be with us by the time we get to the gate.

"General, if we get back in time I have a little proposition for you. Not sure of all the details exactly yet so I won't say anything till then, but would you ask Major Davis to stay please? I'm going to need him, or rather our Major Davis."

"Daniel? You gonna give us a hint?"

"Diplomatic mission, Jack. Let me work on it, okay?"

Hammond agrees and I know better than to push him on something like that. He'll let me in on it the moment he's figured it out.

We have a go to the co-ordinates that Carter's putting in. She rushes down to the gate room where we're picking up some supplies and gives me a quick hug then lands a big kiss on Daniel.

"I always wanted to do that," she says with a grin, aiming it at the other Daniel. "Won't get away with it in our reality."

He laughs, kisses the top of her head and we go.

There are some Vikings waiting for us on the other side of the gate. Gerwyn's there, thank goodness.

"Daniel, you're on."

He calls Gerwyn by name, Olaf, Erik and Hengist too. They're shocked. Daniel says he knows them sort of but doesn't have time to explain. We have to get to the Hall of Thor's Might as quickly as possible. Gerwyn wants to know more so Daniel tells her we're from Midgard and we're friends of Thor and the Asgard. Gerwyn's impressed by this but still suspicious. They know we don't have any Goa'uld with us so that's in our favour. Daniel grabs her and stares into her eyes.

"Gerwyn, I know you don't know me, you will, well, you'll get to know him," he nods at his twin. "I need you to trust me. If you don't Midgard will fall to the Ettins. Please, let us go. We will bring no harm to Cimmeria, I give you my word."

She studies him closely, makes a decision to trust him and then nods and points in the direction that we have to go. Daniel thanks her and we set off. I'm watching the sky, it's going to be night-time soon. It's only a couple of hours ahead of Earth. Damn, we're not going to make it before dark I know it. We find a suitable camp site and I call them to stop.

"Make camp, we're not going to make it tonight. Unless you think you can find it in the dark, Daniel?"

"Not a chance, it took us a while to find it in the light last time. We'll be okay if we stay here. We should find it in the morning."

Kawalsky agrees and we set up the tents. It dawns on me that Charlie hasn't actually been told that Daniel and I are together. He saw him and Paul messing about earlier, I wonder if he thinks they're together? We'll find out in a minute. They've put up their pup tents, and Daniel put up our tent as I set the fire going.

"One tent?" Kawalsky asks.

"We've always shared," I say. "Used to it now. Daniel, you gonna put the coffee on?"

He nods and sets a brew going, the other Daniel boiling some water for tea. While we wait he comes over and sits in front of me.

"Neck rub?" I ask.

Uh huh, he's as stiff as a board. I sit on a rock and open my legs and he shimmies between them. Quiet moans come from him as I stick my fingers in the places that hurt the most.

"You have to do that a lot, Jack?" Kawalsky asks. The two Daniels laugh. Oh yeah, lots.

"I'm often, um, stiff," Daniel says with a grin. "I rely on Jack to, er, give me some relief." Eep.

Major J is cracking up. Kawalsky's demanding to know what's going on.

"Charlie, perhaps we weren't properly introduced," I say. "This is Daniel O'Neill-Jackson, I'm Jonathan Jackson-O'Neill. We've been, er, well I suppose you could say 'married' for two years."

He laughs his ass off. Can't believe it.

"And Hammond lets you two go out on the same team? Don't you have frat rules?"

"We had the stupid don't ask rule but we ignored that too. Look, my SG-1 works. It's the weirdest team in the SGC, and considering we have over thirty teams from six nations that's quite an achievement. I'm the leader - I'm way too old to be fighting but I don't give a damn. My second's a genius physicist with a permanent case of PMS, a reactor obsession and can't cook for shit. Then there's Teal'c, a hulking great hundred and five year-old alien with an attitude problem - not towards me, but anyone who would even look at us wrong. And then there's Daniel."

"Oh God, what on earth are you going to say about me?" he groans.

"I don't have to, Daniel, you speak for yourself. Too fucking much half the time. OW."

Didn't have to hit me for that. Huh.

Kawalsky turns to his Daniel. "So, how long have you and Paul been together then? I know it's been quite a while."

"Four years," he replies. Hey, that's longer than us.

"Damn, I'm gonna lose the bet if this ever gets out. I only thought you'd got together two years ago."

Jackson's spluttering, his tea's going everywhere.

"There's a fucking book on us?"

"Dan, there's a book on everything at the SGC, you should know that by now. You're the one that starts most of them."

I look at my Daniel. He's saying nothing. I can see some serious talking coming our way when we get home.

"What's the general opinion?" Jackson's asking carefully.

"Nobody gives a damn, Dan. You still have to be careful though, you don't want to give the NID any ammo to use against us, but you'll be given a warning if word gets out." He thanks Kawalsky. I think he's relieved that his secret's out.

Daniel asks, "Dan, when you go places, do people make a fuss of your, er, eye colour?"

"God yeah, it's constant," he moans back.

Daniel hits his head back against me.

"See? See? I told you. It's not just intergalactic, it's a fucking inter-dimensional obsession. No one cares that Sam's got blue eyes. It's only mine."

Yeah babe, but no one wants to drown in hers, just yours. I'm not sayin' a word though, I'm just grinning.

"What's with you and Carter?" Charlie asks.

"She's my big sister. Not really, of course, just adopted. We're very close."

"Same here," Dan says. "And Jan."

"Yeah, Jan and I are close too, but we have history - a medical thing. It comes between us unfortunately. Doesn't stop us having a laugh though."

"There was a book going on you and Carter," Kawalsky says to Dan - who promptly falls about laughing.

"Sorry, Charlie, that's really funny. No, I'm gay, completely, unlike him," he nods at Daniel who's grinning.

"I'm just permanently horny. So sue me," he says with a shrug. Talking of which. Bed.

Ah crap. Shh Daniel, it's okay. Come on, that's it, it's only me baby, only Jack. Hush now.

"Jack? Is he okay?" Kawalsky's stuck his head through our tent flap, oh, so has the other Dan.

"Just a nightmare, I was half-expecting this." I'm soothing his back but it's not working. He's screaming in - what is that? Oh God, Goa'uld. These are often his worst ones. Ow, damn it, he caught me in the ribs. I have to hold him down.

"Do you want any help?"

"No, no, I'm used to this. Go on, we'll be fine, he'll calm down in a moment."

I'm going to have to use the last resort trick. I stick my hand in his pants and start to work him, not even looking to see if the others have gone. I don't really care. I have my other arm wrapped tightly around him, holding him closely, not letting him move. His head is thrashing about, I'm whispering in his ear, it's only me Daniel, just Jack love, shh now. Come on baby, give it up for me, come for me please. I kiss his neck, his ear, his shoulder. He's facing away from me, calming down now, not screaming in Goa'uld, just calling my name over and over. Jack, please, please Jack, make it go away.

He's quietening down now, back to sleep. Didn't really wake up. I feel his body loosen in my arms. Good, I can go back to sleep now.

We're heading off to the monument thing to transport us to the Hall. The Daniels are walking together, talking in some other language, obviously wanting to keep whatever it is they're talking about private.

"Does he often get those nightmares, Jack?"

"Yeah, Charlie, especially after having to kill. He's not so bad if we've had a firefight or something, but when it gets up close and personal like that..."

"Can't be easy on him. He's a lot tougher than he looks, isn't he?"

"Tougher than me, that's for sure. The things he's gone through, you wouldn't believe it." I tell him a potted version of Daniel's life. Kawalsky's stunned by it. His Daniel still has his parents apparently. Daniel seems to have forgotten to mention that to me. Hmm, I think lots of words later.

Dan and I are walking ahead, we should be at the place soon. We're chatting in Arabic, it seems to be the most natural thing to do.

"I had a nightmare again last night, didn't I?"

"Yeah. You frightened the shit out of us."


"Don't be. I get them occasionally. Not often thank God. I haven't been through as much crap as you."

"You've been through enough, I guess. It must drive you mad not to be able to be with Paul openly."

"You know it."

"Yeah, I do. Hey, ever been clubbing with him in DC?"

"Sure," he replies carefully.

"Does the underside of one of the Potomac Bridges mean anything to you?"

"Not in any other way than the standard meaning, no."

I tell him about 'that' night with my Paul and he stands stock still, his mouth wide open. He yells "you're a fucking pervert." Unfortunately he did that in English. Jack and Charlie fall about. Well, it's true. I am.

"I don't get it," he says. "You seem to be really quiet most of the time, then you open your mouth. Jeez, you're nothing like your appearance, are you?"

"Nope. I like to keep people guessing."

At last, I've found the obelisk. We grind to a halt and then find ourselves inside the Hall. I tell the others what to expect and as predicted the floor falls away. And the ground rumbles and Jack falls. Of course I dive for him, what else would I do? I'm not as afraid as I was. We get to the runes and I 'solve' it in seconds, finally getting to meet the other Thor. Jack does his thing and then shows him what our Thor gave him. He opens it up and it's a recording. Our Thor is speaking in the Asgard language so none of us have a clue what he's saying. This universe's Thor speaks when the recording ends.

"Your world is in trouble?"

I let Daniel talk. He briefly explains the problem. Thor says he'll help. Damn, that was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. I guess our own Thor can be pretty persuasive too. Jack didn't need to turn on the charm much. Thor also promises to visit the SGC and suggests that we get back there as soon as we can to arrange for his safe passage. Before we can answer we find ourselves outside and back at the monument. Time to run, I guess.

Even with our packs on we make good time. Well, Daniel and I do, the others are getting on a bit after all.

"Come on Jack, we need to get back asap."

"Give me your pack Daniel, run back. We've got more than one GDO, you two get there and pass the message on. We'll be with you as soon as we can."

Daniel hands his pack to Kawalsky and I hand mine to Jack. I think they'd both rather carry twice the kit and walk. We take off, running as fast as we can.

"Shit Daniel, for a civvy you're fit."

"What do you expect, I've spent the last eight years being chased around the galaxy. Of course I'm fit."

We get to the gate, dial up and head through it, taking off at a run to meet up with the General.

"General *pant*, we met Thor *gasp*, he's coming soon. *Wheeze* If you see a small guy *gasp* grey, so high, tell the troops to drop their weapons. *huuuuh groan*."

"I take it your meeting went well then, gentlemen?" he asks kindly. I leave it to Dan to talk.

"Yes Sir. *wheeze* The colonels will be here soon, *gasp* we had to get back fast."

"Ah, I understand. I take it the legendary Jackson speed is inter-dimensional then?"

Snorts and nods from the both of us as we cling on to each other, trying to get our breath back. I can just about talk again.

"Sir, Thor is a good guy. A little strange but he's a good friend. Our Thor asked him to help us. Do whatever he says and Earth will be protected."

"It's going to be hard to convince the powers that be to take my word for this," he replies.

"You have to make it work, Sir. If Ra's coming Earth has had it. We have one of his mother ships and we know what they're capable of. If he's got more than a couple he can wipe the planet out from space unopposed. The Asgard are the only aliens we know who are prepared to come to our aid. They're good friends. Helped us change a few things in our reality too." I look at Dan and he grins. I wonder?

There's a flash of light and Thor appears in the briefing room where we're talking with Hammond. I introduce them and the General explains our complete status. Thor agrees to help out and there's relief all round. He has one condition though - and I'll bet anything that Jack put our Thor up to saying this.

"I will only deal with your Major Jackson or Major Davis. If, for any reason they are no longer in the service, Earth will be on its own."

Dan and his Paul, who by now has come into the room, look at each other and then me. Don't look at me - it was Jack's idea, I'm sure. Hammond's grinning. I think he's getting the idea. He must know about them. Dan gives me a shy smile. Yeah, brother, things are going to work out here for you, I'm sure. Thor tells them that his ship will remain in orbit and that he will deal with Ra when he turns up and then he goes. Time for my other plan to be put into action.

"General, there are other races out there that can be of assistance to you in different ways. The Tok'ra and the Nox, for example. I have a suggestion to make but I need to wait until Jack comes back before I say anything."

"Very well, Dr. Jackson, as soon as he and Colonel Kawalsky return we'll meet up again and discuss your idea."

He dismisses us and I collar Dan and Paul and we head off to Dan's office. It's not like mine and yet it is. His is full of books on linguistics but there are no artefacts here.

"So, are you going to let us in on your idea?" Dan asks. I do. They're stunned but willing to go along with it. It's only going to be for a few days after all.

No way - I don't want this. Not even for a couple of days. No Daniel, no amount of eyelash batting is going to work on me this time. Not without me you don't.

"Jack, I'll be fine. We're going to visit the Nox. You tell me anywhere in the universe that I could be safer?"

"Granted, but the Tok'ra? Daniel, you know what happened when we met them. You don't even know if they're going to be in the same place."

"That's true, Jack. It could be we'll get there and then find out that we've missed them and we turn around and come back. I want Sam to come with me, she'll be a big help. You need to go back to our reality and look after Dan and Paul."

"Dr. Jackson, why would you want to take Major Davis with you?"

"Um, diplomatic mission Sir. Our Major Davis is used to dealing with these people. He'll have the advantage over your major. It's only as an initial meeting. After that, we'll pass on any hints and tips we can in dealing with them and your people can carry on."

I think he's convincing Hammond, he's not convincing me though. I know he has an ulterior motive. I just have to work out what it is. Oh fucking great. Hammond agrees on the condition that our Hammond agrees. I'm fucked. Since when does George ever turn Daniel down?

We all head off to the mirror. It's still on, thank God. Our Carter is still here, she's been exchanging as much information as she can with theirs and she looks shattered. And Daniel wants to take her with him? I don't think so.

We all step through. The alternate Daniel, Paul and Hammond come with us. Kawalsky remained behind to keep an eye on things. What with Ra coming they need the command structure there. Oh fuck, that means that he won't be going with them. I do not like this one bit. Teal'c and Shau're are waiting for us and they both greet Daniel much warmer than the rest of us. We head off up to the briefing room to meet our George and Paul. Did I say I don't like this?

Shi-it. George has agreed. Paul is scowling at Daniel.

"You want me to go through that... thing... again?" he's asking.

"Paul, come on. No partying this time, I promise. A quick in, meet and greet and come back. Don't you trust me?"

Paul looks down his nose at him. "No Oh Glorious One, I don't. Last time I trusted you when you said 'oh go on, it'll be fine' I ended up face down in a bucket of gunge. I don't trust you any further than I can throw you."

Harsh. But true.

Unfortunately for Paul, George has agreed to it. Carter is told to go home and sleep. Paul is going to stay here, we're taking the other Paul and Dan to our house. They're going to stay there while this is going on.

"Damn. I'm going to have to get my hair cut again, aren't I?" Daniel says.


"Because if one of our neighbours sees Dan in daylight..." Ah yes, he has a point. They head off to the barber's and a while later Daniel comes back sporting an identical head of hair. Smart.

Okay - we sneaked Dan in, don't think anyone saw us.

"So, are you going to let us in on the real reason behind this trip of yours?" I ask him.

He nods at Dan and Paul who are absolutely wrapped up in each other. I get it. They can be together here. Dan said his Carter knows about him so he won't have to hide from her when she comes over. Typical Daniel. He starts out hating the man and now he's going to risk his life to give him a few days of happiness.

"Jack, make sure that they don't get any hassle, will you please? You know how precious any time to be ourselves was when we had to hide."

Hell he's getting around me. He's also heading into the kitchen to make some dinner. It's getting quite late and we're absolutely starving. I'd ask Dan if he can cook but he's otherwise engaged. I showed them up to the spare room, told them where to find things. Paul always leaves clothes here, it saves him having to bring things from DC because he always stays here even if we're away. Daniel said that Dan can use his stuff. They are the same size and everything after all.

"Jack, hands off," he smacks my wrists as I pick at the salad he's preparing.

I put my hands to better use. My tongue too. Hmm.

"Jammfff," he's trying to complain. Don't talk Daniel darling, it's rude to speak with your mouth full. OW! He smacked my ass.

"Do you want dinner or not?" he scolds, but his eyes are twinkling.

"I'd much rather eat you."

He slides up as close as he can get and murmurs into my ear - 'later'. Oh God, what does he do to me?

"Hey, are you going to let me go without showing me a good time, flyboy?"

Not a hope, Daniel. Not a hope. C'mere. Whoo momma. You just lie there like a good Daniel and I'll show you just what you mean to me. Hmm, gotta kiss this bit of your throat... just... there. Oh yes, you like that don't you? How about this bit? Hey, lie still babe. C'mon, you want me to kiss this bit? Yeah, I know just what makes you happy, don't I? More? You want more? How about if I do this? And this? Love doing this. Ooh boy.

"Jackpleasebabypleasedon'tteasemec'monloveyouloveyou... ohGodI'mgonnaaaa-a-a--y-y-yyeeess!"

Heh heh heh.

And what do I get? OhmyGod. His eyes are black with sheer lust.

"What do you want, Jack, just tell me, anything, you can do absolutely anything."

Oh my... well, if he's offering.

"Gimme your ass book boy," I whisper. He giggles and flips on to his stomach really quickly. Eager beaver indeed.

I don't think I'm going to be able to walk properly today. We had sex all night. Just stopped for naps and to recover. I don't think that Jack wants me to go, but I have to. I won't be gone long, I hope. We only have a few calls to make. I think it's worth it though. I took some tea up to Dan and Paul this morning. They were wrapped up in each other and looked blissfully happy.

"Sleep well?" I asked them.

"Well, when we weren't being woken up by howls from the next bedroom," Dan replied.

Oops. They didn't mind though - I pointed out that there were quite a few coming from their direction. Poor Paul blushed. I told them that this was the whole idea. Jack is going to stay up at the mountain until I come back. They can stay at the house. The only thing we asked of them was that they didn't go out together, because I didn't want our neighbours thinking I was having an affair and cheating on Jack. They promised to keep it discreet if they left the house. I'll take their word on that. Somehow, I don't think they're going to leave the bedroom. I showed them where everything was - including the stash of lube - and we said goodbye and Jack and I headed to work.

Paul was waiting for me in his cammies. Aw, he looks so cute in them, like he wasn't meant to wear them. I'm so used to seeing him in his blues. He nearly went through the gate before the trip to Babylon. When the asteroid was heading to Earth he was on the last list to go to Alpha, though he couldn't for the life of him see why he should be chosen. After saying goodbye to Hammond he headed down to the gate room. He was about to step through the wormhole when the word came through that the asteroid had disappeared. After Babylon he swore he'd never do this again.

"You should have seen them, Paul, they were so happy last night. And this morning. Come on, do it for them, huh?" I'm still having to work on him. He's going to do it, but he's not happy.

Sam's looking a little haggard. Well, shagged to tell the truth. I'm guessing by the looks that Ed's giving her that she has been. What's got into us all? We seem to be bundles of seething hormones at the moment.

The three of us say our goodbyes and we go through the mirror, promising to be as quick as we can. The news from the Hammond of this reality is that Thor came through for them. Ra turned up, took one look at the Asgard ship and turned tail before he could be defeated. Thor took out a couple of the ha'taks he brought though, so his fleet has been depleted. Hopefully, with the increased knowledge we've given them, this reality will now be in a position to fight back in a way that they weren't before. What this means though is that Kawalsky is free to come with us. I ask that a message gets sent back to our reality to inform them of what has happened. It'll help calm Jack a bit I think.

Three days. Three fucking awful days. Still no news. Majors Dan and Paul are coming up to the mountain every day and helping out as best they can. At least Dan can do some of Daniel's translations for him. We've given them copies of the blueprints for the Goa'uld busting weapons - the translated ones. They're going to have to build the weapons fairly quickly, I guess. Dan came to talk to me earlier, I think he's trying to figure out what Daniel sees in me.

"You're not like the O'Neill I knew," he said. Damn straight I'm not.

"Daniel changed me. I didn't care back then if I lived or died, or whether anyone else did. Daniel kicked my butt with a few well-placed words. He still does it. Every time I let myself get too military he looks at me."

"Looks at you?"

"Yep. That's all he has to do. Just look. Sometimes there's a 'Jack', but most of the time he just looks. Damn, he's got me well and truly wrapped around his little finger."

"Now you see, I can't do that," Dan complained, "I've seen him at work and I don't know how he does it."

"It's the civilian in him, I guess. He's not afraid to articulate any feelings he has. You and I, we have to hide stuff, but he doesn't. So, when he needs to get me to do something he can. Tell me, now you've seen that side of you, what do you prefer?"

"Um, I guess I'm glad I'm Air Force, I couldn't give up flying for example, but at least now I know I could have made something of myself if I'd not joined up. It's kind of gratifying."

"Now you see that's the one problem I have with seeing you as a Daniel. The flying thing. Daniel gets physically sick, it scares him shitless. Mind, that doesn't stop him if he has to fly. He's even parachuted once."

"He did?" Dan's eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Yeah, there's a second gate, it ended up in Siberia - long story - anyway, we had to get there and the runway was snowed under so we had to jump. He didn't even complain once. He's never failed to remind me of this fact however. Hell, even Teal'c complained about jumping. Perhaps I shouldn't have told him about the time one of my jumps went wrong..."

Day four. How many more days do I have to wait? We've had a message come through. They're okay. Apparently the Tok'ra are taking some convincing so they're having to negotiate with them. A private message came through to me, Daniel wrote it and sent it through the gate first and then it came through the mirror. So, it's an inter-dimensional trans-galactic love letter. Damn, he really does love me. I just wish he'd written it in English.

I'll be home soon, I promise you.
I'm missing you like crazy, can't sleep at night without you.
When I come home we're going to go to Abydos and party
like mad. I'll take you to a favourite place of mine and
we're going to spend the night making mad passionate love under
the stars. Don't forget to pack plenty of lubrication!
God I love you, and I can't wait to see you again.
Yours ever

I can't wait to see him again either. I want him home - now - and I'm going to scream and scream till I make myself sick if I don't get him. Aw hell, that's Carter's routine. I think I'll just sulk.

WOO HOO! My baby's home. I don't care who sees us, I sweep him up into my arms and kiss the shit out of him.

"Dammit Daniel, did you have to take so long?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," he pants. "I wanted to come home two days ago. Forgive me?"

Damn, he's looking so sweet, of course I forgive him. Just as long as we can have lots and lots of hot and sweaty sex to make up for it.

Carter's being hugged by Ed, I think he's got more private plans for her later. I'll have to have a word with Hammond and see if they can have a couple of days off. It'll be up to her then if they come to Abydos or not. I'm guessing not.

Oh oh, their Hammond saw me kissing Daniel. Dan and Paul are quaking in their boots. George is taking him to one side and having words with him. There's laughter and patted backs, I'm guessing there's not going to be a problem.

"Well Dr. Jackson," he's saying. "It's nice to see that your CO is so pleased to have you back."

Daniel's blushing, hell, so am I.

"Well, Jack's always been very demonstrative," he replies with a grin. "That's why I married him."

Hammond cracks up then he says, "It would seem that in some respects our realities are very different, aren't they, Majors?"

Dan and Paul shuffle about while agreeing with him. He's a good man, no matter which reality he's from. He's just told them that he knows and he doesn't care and he'll protect them as much as he can. They know it too. No wonder Hammond remains way past his retirement age. Nobody could replace him.

More goodbyes are said. We promise that this time the mirror will be kept in a locked room on the base. Daniel says he'll mark the wall in front of it so that they know it's us if they ever need us again. Shau're's saying her goodbyes to the General and Paul, she didn't get the chance last time, and then they go. We take the mirror to a storeroom and face it towards a wall. Daniel writes something in Arabic on the wall.

"What does it say Daniel?"

"Goa'uld-free zone. Tauri welcome."

Fair enough. Let's go to Abydos.

I have no idea how I'm going to explain Shau're to Kasuf. I've asked that I go alone to start with, that the others give me a couple of hours to talk to him. The heat of the desert hits me as soon as I leave the comparative cool of the gate room, Skaara at my side. I was welcomed in typical Abydonian style - in other words I have bruised ribs and precious little breath.

"You look worried, Dan-yel. Something troubles you?"

"Sort of Skaara. I have good news for you and Kasuf but it's going to take some explaining."

He hurries me to the tent where Kasuf is holding court. The smile that lights up his face when he sees me makes everything worthwhile.

"GOOD SON! You have come home! Welcome, welcome, sit please."

"Good father, it's so good to see you all again. I have news for you, important news. Please, listen to my explanation."

I try to explain about different dimensions but I can see he doesn't understand. I try again.

"Good father, imagine that you are journeying and you come to a choice of road to take."

He nods, good, got me so far.

"Now, if you take one path certain things will happen. You will reach your destination, but maybe the road is hard. If you take the other path you will also reach your destination, it may be an easier path but it will take longer."

Yes, he's still with me. Thank goodness.

"Now, here's the difficult bit. Imagine that when you make your decision to take the one path another version of yourself takes the other path. Up till that point you were the only Kasuf. But then there are two of you. One takes the easier, longer path and the other takes the shorter, harder road. You both have different adventures but arrive at the same destination. Do you understand that concept?"

He gets it, sort of. I remind him of a story that he once told me of identical twins and that helps him understand.

Having spoken to Dan, we're pretty certain that our parents' survival actually triggered the split in our universes so...

"Do you remember that I told you my parents were killed when I was a young boy?"

"Of course, Dan-yel, such a terrible tragedy."

"Well, imagine a reality in which this didn't happen."

"That would be a good thing for you, wouldn't it?" he asks. Whoo boy.

"Maybe. It actually happened Kasuf. In this other reality, my parents didn't go to the museum to set up the exhibition. They stayed in Egypt, the land of your ancestors. They survived. They still live. The other version of me became fed up with the lifestyle and after his first studies he decided to join the military - the Air Force like Jack."

"Is that such a bad thing, Dan-yel?" Skaara asks, he still idolises Jack after all.

"Yes, in this case. Do you remember when we first came here, our orders were to blow up the Chappa'ai?" Nods.

"You told O'Neill it would be a bad thing to do, did you not?" Kasuf asks gently.

"I did, Kasuf. Unfortunately, the military version of me followed orders. He took Shau're home with him and O'Neill stayed behind and blew up the gate. Their Shau're could no longer go home."

"And O'Neill died?" Kasuf speaks so softly.

"He did. The other version of me never married Shau're. He took care of her though, she remains unmarried. But she no longer wishes to stay on Earth. She can never go back to her home, Kasuf. She has crossed to our reality, we have a device like the Chappa'ai that enables us to do that. I want to bring her here."

"This Shau're, she is my daughter?"

"She is, Kasuf. Her life up until the day we first came here is identical to that of our Shau're."

"You would not want to marry this one?"

"Kasuf - you know how much I loved our Shau're. I could not marry another, identical or not. It would be wrong. Besides, I am joined to Jack for life - you know this. I feel for this Shau're, already I am fond of her, but I could never love her the way I loved my wife. You do not have to take this Shau're in, I don't expect you to, neither does she, but if you do you will find her pretty much the same."

Abydonians pride themselves on their hospitality, like the Bedouins of Earth. I doubt Kasuf could turn her away. This is why I didn't bring her here first.

"Would she honour me as her father?"

"Oh yes. She's talked of nothing else. Kasuf, I know this doesn't mean anything to you but genetically Shau're is your daughter. It is just her experiences of the last eight years which make her different."

"She is still a virgin?" This is important to him, if she wasn't he wouldn't be able to find a husband for her.

"Oh yes, she told me that she would never marry because her father wasn't around to arrange it."

She's just rocketed in his estimation despite not having met her.

"She will come, we will meet and then decide."

Skaara and I head back to the gate. He's full of excitement.

"You said you would bring Shau're home to us, ne? You are doing this, my brother."

"I just wish it could have been my Shau're, Skaara."

"I know, so do I. But, she is the same, ne? She is my sister and she is coming home!"

I laugh at his defiant statement. If Skaara has anything to do with it, she's going to be staying.

It's time to go. Daniel's just MALPed in and told us to come through. Shau're is nervous. Teal'c is at her side. Janet is coming too, she's found some spurious medical reason for it. Mom's going to stay with Cassie till we get back. Sam decided to stay home, I think she's exhausted. George has given us four days to wrap this up. We could do with some time off. Desert cammies are on, lots of Egyptian cotton is here. George arranged it as a present for Kasuf, a sort of down payment on the possibility of mining naquada there. It's taken us a long time to even want to broach the subject of mining with the Abydonians but I think that they may be receptive to the idea.

The gate has engaged and we step through.

Skaara is there, he's just swept Shau're into his arms. They're crying, holding on to each other, jabbering away in Abydonian and I haven't got a clue what they're saying. Daniel just comes over to me and gives me a hug. He looks up at Teal'c.

"See Teal'c, I told you we'd bring her home together."

Damn, the big guy has tears running down his face. I never thought I'd see the day. Fuck, it's making me cry. Daniel's howling too. Shoot, we're all yowling like babies. Kasuf better say she can stay or else I think Skaara's going to start his own rebellion.

We're heading to the tents. People are coming out to meet us. They don't know what to make of Shau're, they're thrilled to see her but wary of her too. Skaara's delight at seeing her is helping calm them though. We're at Kasuf's tent. Oh God, I hope this is going to go well. The flap is opened and we step in.

"Father?" I guess she just said that. I've heard Daniel say it before. Kasuf's looking at her and he says,

"Shau're?" His voice is cracking. Oh fuck, he's crying now. She's in his arms, they're sobbing and setting us all off again.

Finally they break apart. Kasuf looks at us, his eyes are red.

"Thank you for bringing my daughter home. We should celebrate."


Oh God, shoot me now. My head hurts. Well it would if I could find it. Is that it? Rolling down that dune? No, it's Daniel's. I hope his body is still attached. Better find out. Oops. Well, thass a quick way of gettin' down.

"Daniel? Whatcha doin'?"

"Jack, my beautiful Jack. Come with me baby, we're gonna make out under the stars. Promised you we would, didn't I?"

Oh yeah, he did. Surprised he can remember. I'll be even more surprised if either of us can get it up. We're utterly shitfaced. Still, he's so fucking gorgeous. Where we goin'?

"Come over here Jack, see?"

Oh nice, an oasis. Wanna make out here. Ooh yes, defnitly wanna make out here. Hope nobody comes. 'Part from us, obviously.

Hmm, tha'snice. Cool water, no clothes, whoo momma. He's so fuckin' edible. Wanna eat him all up. C'mere Daniel, time for nice kisses. Oh God yeah, nice kisses. This is good. No fucking complaints. 'Part from one. Where's the fucking?

Out of the water, under a tree. It looks funny from down here. Look Daniel, funny branches. Wasshe doin'? OhmyGod. Tongue. Big tongue. Goin' where? Down there? Woo hoo! Yeah baby, more of that please. Jesus, didn't know it could go that far up! OhfuckohGodohshit YEAH. More Daniel. Don' make me beg baby. What's he tryin' to do, eat me? I can't go on, I'm co-oming!

"Gimme your ass, flyboy." Fucking hell he sounds filthy. Absolutely no complaints though. You want this old ass baby, you got it. Oh good.

"Jack, ooh Jack, look at you, so fucking gorgeous, just want you, gonna bury myself so deep in you. So tight, so hot, so fucking perfect. Oh no, gonna-a-a-a!"

Oof. He's lying on my back, knocked the wind out of me. Don't care. My teddy bear is wrapped all around me. I could die happy now.

I wanna die. Oh God. How much did we drink? What the fuck was that stuff that we smoked? Shit, haven't smoked a cigarette in years and now I start on some weird shit. My lungs feel like someone's run a cheese grater over them. My voice sounds like it too. Christalmighty! Even Janet's got a hangover. That's got to be some sort of record. And TEAL'C! I don't think I've ever seen the big guy so emotional. He's cried a fair bit over the last couple of days. I think that he and Daniel have put to rest any of the ghosts that were hanging around now. He's been doing a lot of hugging. Teal'c that is. Don't think that Daniel will ever let too many people get close enough to hug him. He's got us though.

Kasuf and his people loved the cotton. It's worth more to them than stupid old naquada. He's given us permission to come and discuss mining on a small-scale, so the Pentagon will be happy I hope.

We're heading home now. I need some time off. I have got to get me some rest.