default style cream background and navy text

Mission Impossible

masculus iuventus

Summary: Hot springs, cock rings and Ancients' graffiti. Can Teal'c and Sam reach the guys in time to stop them turning the clock back?

I'm worried sick about Jack. He hasn't made love to me in ages. Oh, we've had sex. I've made love to him, he's sucked me off, rubbed me, jerked me off... but not once has he let me bottom since we've got back from the mission with his clone. And to be frank, I'm pissed with him for it. It's been weeks.

I'm not fragile. I'm not going to break. My ass is better - was in a couple of days. But every time we start, he turns it, makes me do him and not the other way around. I think I need to get him away from Sam and Teal'c. Just me and him, no way out so he has to deal with it.

So, this man has a plan. And my intention is to be as sneaky as I can. I've packed Mia with our big tent, some food, and plenty of lube. Jan came up trumps and sent what I asked her for on the last shopping list. I'm sure she must buy this stuff off the Internet because even she would blush if she had to buy it from a shop.

Before we went, we gave power of attorney to George and Janet. Every time we want something 'personal' they use our money and get it for us.

For example, Jacob went shopping with them, ostensibly for technology which the Tok'ra could use to aid in the transfer of information between the Tok'ra and the SGC. And came here with four new laptops, top of the range with massive hard drives, RAM that would make a flock of sheep weep with happiness and processors that make my one gigahertz one look positively steam driven. We need them. The games that Jack likes to play take up lots of memory.

Talking of games, it's time to go. I had to get Sam and Teal'c in on the plan - which meant I had to explain the reason behind it to them. And explaining the concept of bottoming to Teal'c, well, let's just say it's not something I want to do again in a hurry.

He's got no problem with male/male relationships at all. He's just not really completely there with the concept that the bottom in the relationship can be the guy in control. The Jaffa use sex to dominate their underlings, fucking them into submission.

He sees it as a 'bonding' thing. He got fucked by Bratac, he fucked the guys under him, so to speak. It was used to emphasise the position in the hierarchy. He doesn't see being bottom as a problem, or even as being weak, he just doesn't get the fact that I want to be in that position sometimes. He sees it as submitting to a more dominant male (which again, he doesn't have a problem with; it's 'normal' in any militaristic set-up, the concept of dominance anyway). I tried to explain but I think I failed. He thinks I'm better off being the top so that Jack doesn't get carried away with being the boss, as if it equalises our relationship with Jack being the leader in the field.

I see his point, trouble is he doesn't really see mine. Never mind, he's helping and trying to accept us for what we are.

Neither Jack nor I are definite tops or bottoms. I guess I'm 55% bottom and Jack is 55% top. Usually. And that suits. If I want it whichever way, I get it. It's not an issue. Unless I'm not getting it, which I'm not, and I'm rambling in my own mind again. As Jack would say, 'Shut up, Daniel'.

"Come on, Jack, we're going away. Look, the guys are on the ship and waiting for us. A camping holiday for a couple of days on another island. We could do with the break."

He's allowing me to lead him, but he's quiet and a bit confused I think. He's going to be a lot more confused by the time I'm finished with him, that's for sure.

The door shuts and Teal'c takes off before Jack can say any more. Not that he's said much. He hasn't really spoken much since we returned from that mission.

When Jacob came, I took him to one side and explained as much as I could without going into explicit detail. He's got the message that we're not going on a mission until Jack is over this. It's affecting him badly. Just how am I going to get it into Jack's head that I'm okay with what happened?

I'm not sure just what Daniel has in mind. Poor Jack hasn't been himself since that last mission. I know he'd rather die than hurt Daniel, but he's not seeing that he's hurting him now. Physical pain is something that Daniel can get over quickly. Jack shutting him out is eating him up from the inside out.

We're going to an island a few islands over from ours. It looks nice. The weather is holding out, it's colder now, but the rains seem to have gone. At least for now. We should keep an eye on it. Teal'c and I are going to go and explore the solar system, getting proper measurements and so on. It's keeping the astrophysicist in me happy anyway.

We're there. All four of us unload the stuff and Daniel's taking Jack by the hand and leading him away from the ship. While Jack's back is turned, Teal'c and I sneak back onto Mia. We've shut the door, taken off, undoubtedly left Jack in a state of confusion but hey, that's Daniel's problem not mine.

In orbit now, and now leaving it, heading for the nearest planet. I start the scanners off so they can take the measurements I want. What the hell?

"Samantha? Given what you said about the others' trip on their own, I felt a little experiment of our own would be warranted."

Zero gravity, eh? Well, why not? What's sauce for the gander and all.

"Daniel? What's going on?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? The guys are going to go and play in space. It's just you and me for this trip. That's not a problem, is it? I can call them back if you want, but they wanted some time to themselves. If you ask me, I think that Sam wants to try out the zero gravity experience."

Oh! Okay, that's okay. I can deal.

"No, don't disturb them. We can give them a break. They could probably do with it."

He's rolling his eyes and now he's grinning.

"Come on, let's get the tent up, shall we?"

Sounds good. We get it up quickly, it's not as if we can't do it in our sleep. Daniel's collecting firewood and getting a fire started. I'm going through the supplies to see what food we've brought.

"Um, Daniel? What in heaven's name is this?"

"Ah. I was going to show you that later."

"Explain. And explain how you got it."

"It's a cock ring, Jack," he says huskily. "I asked Janet to get it for us. There's a matching one. You know, it'll keep us going a bit longer. Given that it takes us a while to recover these days, I wanted to prolong the enjoyment. Is it a problem?"

"You asked JANET?"

"Well, I wasn't going to ask Jacob or George. Somehow I figured Janet would be cooler with the idea."

Ya know, there's something scary about the fact that that makes perfect sense to me.

"So, what did you have in mind, Daniel?"


"Yeah, I'd kind of got that. Any particular sort?"

"Lots of sex."

"Um, Daniel. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm the last cup of coffee in Starbucks and you've been deprived of the holy bean for a week."

"Perhaps," he says, his voice low and sexy, making his way towards me as if I'm prey and he's a predator, "that's because you are as desirable as that, Jack. And I want you."

"Oh. Okay. You want this old ass, you've got it."

His shoulders drop and he's stopped coming towards me.



"What's wrong? One second you were coming on to me like a fucking express train and the next you've started to walk away."

"Oh, nothing. Just thought I should get some food on. You know, keep up our strength and all."

Yeah. I believe that too. Not. I know what's wrong though. But I can't do it. No way. Every time I think of making love to him the way he wants it I fail to, er, rise to the occasion. I can't do it.

I must agree with Samantha's assessment. Sex in zero gravity is an 'experience'. And fun. We shall do that again at some point soon. She is looking out of the view screen now, watching the planet underneath us as we scan it. She seems to be happy.

"Teal'c? Look at this. This planet is perfect for life. It's got everything. An atmosphere, plenty of land, fresh and seawater, a temperate climate. There's more land on this planet than on Remoc. So why was the gate there? Both planets are a similar distance from the sun, this one is a few million miles closer but astronomically that's nothing. They're on the same orbital plane, rotating at virtually the same rate and given that they're a similar size, we're talking much the same day lengths. They're never going to crash into each other or anything, so why not this one? If I were one of the Ancients, I'd have put the gate here."

"They must have had a reason, Samantha. Perhaps there is, or was, something on Remoc that meant that it was the better planet. They did not colonise it, though."

"I'm wondering if there was something on Remoc before the water level rose. I think we need to get back to Remoc. I need to have another look at it."

"Do you wish to disturb the men?"

"No, no, not yet. If I find anything then I will, but until I know what's been going on, we should leave them alone. Daniel needs to get this sorted between them. It's eating Jack alive."

"I still do not understand Daniel's reasons for wanting this."

She looks at me and smiles.

"It's as much to do with equality of opportunity as anything, Teal'c. Daniel explained to me that some guys prefer to be one or the other, either the top or the bottom, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with who's 'in charge' and everything to do with what they like. With Jack and Daniel, they share everything. It's not just sex, honey. They share their thoughts, their emotions, their whole lives. One can't really exist without the other. And Jack isn't sharing with him and that's hurting Daniel.

"Daniel told me he just about prefers to be bottom, but he could have lived without it if Jack had turned out to be a resolute bottom, as some guys are. If that had been Jack's initial preference, then Daniel would have understood it - got a bit frustrated now and then but it wouldn't have been a problem. But they've always shared, taken it in turns if you like. And Jack's taken away Daniel's ability to choose it or ask for it. And that hurts him."

I believe I understand it a bit better now.

"Here. Hope the meat is as cooked as it gets with the Tok'ra microwave."

I hand him half a duck and he tucks in. I wish he would talk to me but he's hardly speaking.

"It's great. Thanks."

Last of the great conversationalists. Sheesh. Anyway, I have got to get him out of this. It's driving a wedge between us and the gap is widening a bit every day. It's tearing us apart and breaking my heart. I'm going to ambush him tonight, it's the only way. I have a plan and we're not leaving this island till he's fucked me.

We've cleared up. The nights are drawing in and I've insisted that we go to bed. He's wondering whether to have a separate sleeping bag or not. No fuckin' way, O'Neill.

I've taken them and deliberately zipped them together. He gets the message. I am not letting this go. I've lost him before, let him go as he walked from me. I will not do that again.

I've put a few things on my side of the bed, out of his sight. He's going to get a wake up he won't expect.

We're ready and getting into the bag.

"You're wearing shorts to bed, Jack?"

"Yeah, well, the cold you know."

"Oh, I know. But skin on skin is more effective, you know that."

I deliberately remove my clothes in front of him and then get in the bag and surprise the crap out of him by facing away from him.

"Um, Daniel?"

"Yes Jack?"

"You're going to sleep?"

"Well, yes Jack. You?"

"Yeah, I guess. Night."

"Night babe."

He's on his back and I hear his breathing even out. I wait until he's definitely asleep, then I put my plan into action. First things first. Lube. There is going to be plenty this time out. Trying not to disturb him, I put some on my fingers and then up my ass. God that feels good. Next, I quietly unzip the bag so I'll have room to manoeuvre. Then the ring. He's still asleep, I guess he's gotten used to me fidgeting in my sleep over the years.

This is it, the moment of truth.

I've slipped the ring over him and tightened it. I'm glad he took the hint and dropped his shorts. I was dreading having to try to get them off him. Now a little more lube on my hand and I'm jerking him. He's hard. He's also awake. I'm not going to give him a chance to argue over this. I know he got 'deflated' every time I asked him to do this to me, but the ring is stopping that. He's going to have no choice.


He can't complain, my tongue is playing tonsil hockey. He's kissing me back. I'm not giving him a moment to think here, he's going to act and act on instinct alone. I've kicked the bag off and I'm straddling him, positioning myself and... ye-ah! At last.

I've broken the kiss, now I'm sitting up and I must be grinning like an idiot.

"Oh yeah, this feels so fucking good, O'Neill. Welcome home, babe."

He's looking bewildered, but then he often looks like this when we're having sex. I love rendering him insensible.

I move. Slowly at first, but steadily. He's gotten that look on his face now, the one that says he's losing his control. He never totally loses it, and I guess I know why now, but this is going to be good.

"You want me to fuck you?" he growls.

"As hard and as long as you can, babe. I'm not going to break."

"No, you're not, are you? You want... this?"

Oh God. He's flipped me onto my back and he's starting to push. That's my baby. Forget it all and just act.

"YES! Move it O'Neill!"

"Like this?" Harder now, he's still holding back though.


"Like this?" Faster, deeper, I'm moving up to meet him as he comes towards me.

"Harder," I growl. He has to, he has to know that I can take this. That I want, no need this.

"Love you, Jack. Fucking love you."


"Not anymore. You love me." A statement, not a question. "You're showing me."

"You know it."

No more talking, just us. Oh shit, should have put a ring on me 'cause I'm gonna... ooh YES!

"Daniel, I need to come, babe."

"Undo it, come for me Jack. Come IN me."

He's trying to keep fucking me as he loosens the ring.


"That's the idea, Jack."

He's giggling. He's fucking me, coming and giggling at the same time. Never let it be said that our sex life is dull.

OOF. He's flopped on my chest.

"Hey," I say. Erudite, I know, but I have just been fucked to within an inch of my life.

"Hey." I get the goofiest grin back at me.

"Love you."

"Love you too, Daniel. I'm sorry. I've been such a fucking idiot."

"You have. Don't do it again."

I guess my scolding of him would carry more weight if I didn't look as goofy as him and I wasn't running my fingers through his hair.

"I won't. Thanks for bringing me here, hun. Thanks for making me do this."


If anyone was listening into this conversation they'd probably think it was surreal even for us. I pull him up and into my arms, grab some tissue and clean us up. We can sleep now. But this time it's me on my back and him in my arms, his head on my chest. Just where he belongs.

We slept - well. Snuggling up with Teal'c is wonderful. He's so cuddly it's unreal. He's a six foot four teddy bear. And he's mine. I am one lucky woman, that's for sure. My babe is big, beautiful, sexy, strong, protective and as soft as a feather bed. About time I had some luck. We're scanning now, from orbit. I love to look at Remoc, it's so blue, like a sapphire against the black of space.

I'm concentrating on the area around the gate. Why would the gate have been abandoned? We've seen no hint of visits there. There had to be a reason for it being there. And short of the Ancients liking tropical islands to visit, which strikes me as strange for some reason, I can't see it.



"There, Samantha. Look. On the island where O'Neill and Daniel are. There is a heat signature."

"It's just a hot spring, Teal'c. We saw that when we flew over the island a few weeks ago."

"Do you have that 3D image of the seabed here?"

"I do."

I get my laptop and power it up, then pull up the imaging that we did. We've been concentrating on the larger islands a fair way from us. This time I look at the area around the gate. The sea is fairly shallow there, as if it didn't rise that much. Some of the islands are huge, with mountain ranges extending thousands of feet up but our area is fairly flat.

"Can you show what the area would look like if the sea dropped away?"


I lower the sea level image and see just what Teal'c is going on about. Our entire area was a huge island or even a continent. It didn't take a large drop in sea level either. A few feet really - okay, about twenty. But still, that's not too much. And the island on which the guys are is connected to the one where the gate is. Perhaps they did have some reason to put the gate there.

I turn on the scanners and do the most detailed search of the entire area that the computer shows. This is exciting.

"Morning." Okay. I'm looking and sounding dopey. I don't care. Daniel was right last night, right to push me the way he did. "You okay? How's your ass?"

"Fine, Jack. Feeling better for having had you there, that's for sure."

"Yeah, about that..."

"Hush. It's over, Jack. I understood, honestly. But it couldn't go on. It was breaking us up. It's over now, all finished. I love you, you love me, and more to the point, we can have fun again. Sound good to you?"

"Sounds wonderful."

"Good. Let's get up and get a coffee. I feel like exploring. What do you think?"

"That sounds good too." I get up and head out of the tent.

"Um, Jack, haven't you forgotten something?"

"Like what?"

"Your shorts?"

"You have a problem seeing me like this?"

"Oh no, not a problem. Though I may want to do things; erotic and exciting things, if you don't cover up. And I want my coffee first."

I get the point. So, I cover up. Pity. I was such a fucking idiot with the way I behaved. I'm so not going to behave like that again. No way.

Daniel knows why I did what I did on that godforsaken planet. I'd never hurt him on purpose. So why did I hurt him when we got back? Stop it, O'Neill. It's over and done with. I've made love to him, he loved it given the level of happy howling; I got it up - admittedly with help but hey, at my age I take it anyway I can get it. I'm sure that my mental block is over and done with. There is one way to prove it to both of us though.

Coffee's made, the fire didn't take long to stoke back up thank heavens. I'd take it into him but he's just come out. Naked. Ah well, that just makes my next move that much easier. I go off to one side, take a leak, then head back to the tent and get what I need.

Stalking now, creeping up behind him. He jumps a mile when he feels my breath on his neck. He's also as hard as nails in seconds. He loves this, when NeanderJack takes over. I take his coffee from him and put it down. Now I'm pushing him to face a tree. His hands I place on the trunk, above his head. I've kicked his legs apart.

I'm not asking, but I don't have to. I know he would stop me if he wanted me to stop. My own shorts are off. I've slicked myself up and now it's my turn to really come home. I can do this. The low, sexy moan that he gave tells me that he wants it.

Oh yeah. Home. Definitely home. I slide in in one go. He's relaxed, welcoming me, wanting me there. I want to be there too. As I start to push, he's pushing back to me, losing control, muttering in many languages. I know what he's saying. Yes. Please. More. Love you. Want you. Need you. I need you too, Daniel. And God only knows I want you and love you. You've got me. It feels so good, so hot, so why the fuck am I thinking?

He's coming. I never even touched him and he's coming, yelling and crying out, pushing me over the edge and taking me with him. I pull out gently, shaking as I do. He's in my arms, kissing me, holding me, more frantic than I've ever known him.

Finally we break for air.

"Oh my God," he pants. "That was amazing, Jack. I am so going to keep you."

"You're sure you don't want a younger man? To keep up with you?" I tease.

"Uh huh. I only need you, Jack. Keep fucking me like that, hun, and you'll have one very happy Daniel on your hands."

"I'll do my best."

"You always do, babe. You always do."


The only thing that we have found of any interest is that hot spring. There are a few caves on a different part of the area but that does not strike us as something that the Ancients would want to visit. However, we are going there first as we do not wish to disturb the men until necessary. So, we are taking the ship back down, this time to the island in-between ours and the one that the men are on.

Teal'c is in 'explorer' mode and I'm giggling.


"Oh, nothing. It's just exciting, like the old days. You know, exploring, discovering and so on."

"I do. I miss that time. Do you?"

"Lots. But I know that what we're doing is important. I think that Daniel misses it the most. He's being turned into a soldier, more so than when he was at the SGC. It's not what he is."

"Do you think that he is changing?"

"I'm not sure. He's hardening... if that was possible. I mean, he was always tough and ready to do what was necessary. But in the past, he was less inclined to accept the need to kill someone. Now, though..."

"He is prepared to kill. I understand. It is a shame. Would you feel better if he was not with us?"

"No, no! Absolutely not. He shouldn't be here and doing this, but we're better off because he is with us. He keeps us safe, you know, what with his knowledge and so on. I guess I just miss the old Daniel."

"Do you think that he has changed that much?"

"Yes," I sigh. "I do. Don't you remember the wide-eyed idealist that he was?"

"I do. I do not believe that he has lost his moral grounding though. I still believe that he will prevent us from killing if he thinks it is necessary."

"You're right. Of course. I'm not sure that we would have even thought to free those slaves first time out, or helped the victims of Petrocus escape. Maybe we would, but without Daniel there, it wouldn't be a given that we'd do it."

Teal'c gives me his Jaffa 'hmm'; agreeing with me and considering my words at the same time. We continue towards the caves more or less in silence.

"Jack? Where are we going and why do we have towels?"

"Wait and see, Danny Boy."


Bastard's snickering. I'll give him boy. I brought the lube on this little trip of ours. Heh heh heh. He's smiling now, happier than I've seen him in weeks. Time to have some fun. I love messing with his head.



"We've been going for ages. Where are we going?"

"Daniel, we've been walking for half an hour."

"An hour, and over rough terrain."

"Shut your yap, there's a good linguist. We're nearly there."

"If you weren't so good in bed I'd swap you for a blow-up doll. At least that wouldn't drag me around the wilds of the galaxy, OW, getting ATTACKED by mutant plants."

"You are not getting attacked, Daniel. And that plant's not a mutant. It's a fern. Just a... very... um..."


"Big! Big fern. And what sort?"

"Whatd'ya mean, what sort? I'm an archaeologist not a fucking botanist."

"No, what sort of doll?"

"Mickey the Mailman."

I reply as quickly as I can and the resulting double take is a picture.

"Huh? WHY?"

"At least he'd always deliver on time."

He stops walking, looks at me as if I've grown another head and then cracks.

"I'm kinda glad," he says when he calms down.

"You are? Why?"

"Well, if it had been Colin the Cowboy, well, let's just say too many connections to Hammond."


"Nah, not him," I tell him, trying to keep my face straight. "Tried him out but my spurs kept puncturing him and I ran out of plasters."

We have arrived at the caves. We see nothing that one would not expect.

"Great. We traipse all the way up here and find nothing but bat droppings or the local equivalent."

"Should we eat?"

"Not in here. I mean, yuck!"

"I meant at the cave mouth."

"Oh. Yeah, okay. I could do with something to eat."

We have lit a fire and cooked our food. She is sitting next to me as close as she can. I try something that I have seen on the television. I put my arm around her. It is... unusual. Of course I hold her, as I held my wife, but this is strange, not something that I have done before.

"Hmm, this is nice," she says quietly. "All I need now is a widescreen surround sound cinema, the lights to go down, popcorn, anything with Harrison Ford in it and I'm happy."

I will never understand Samantha. This is probably just as well. I fear my brain would explode if it ever unravelled the mysteries that are woman. Perhaps Daniel Jackson knows the answer? Perhaps it would help if I knew what the question was?

"I believe that Daniel would agree with you on the choice of film. I seem to remember that he had many of Ford's films on video."

She's giggling. "Yeah. And you know? I never even thought as to the reason why. I mean, I just put it down to the archaeologist thing, but now I'm not so sure."

"I agree. We should ask him if he's attracted to him when we meet up."

She's laughing louder now. I love that sound.

"I must wonder though."

"What's that, honey?"

"Just why did O'Neill have so many films with Lassie in?"

"Ooh a hot spring. This must be the one we saw when we were flying over."

"Got it in one, Daniel," I tell him as he rushes to the edge. "Hey, slow down. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Nah, won't do that, Jack. Don't worry. Shall we... er... take a dip?"

God, I don't believe it. He's looking shy and innocent. How the fuck does he do it? I don't know anyone less innocent than Daniel. But there he is, looking young and inexperienced, making out that he only wants to swim when I know he wants to fuck. I wouldn't mind but it turns me on so much I can't think straight.

"Yeah," I managed to croak. "Sounds good."

What am I saying? It's the reason I brought him up here! Come on brain, wake up!

Oh shit. He's just pulled his clothes off. Slowly and seductively, still managing to look as if he's never even thought about sex let alone had it in every conceivable position (including a few I had never conceived of. And I'm not exactly virginal, ya know?).

My clothes are off. Forget seductive strips, I'm naked as soon as humanly possible. I'm hard. He's not. HOW? I know he wants it. Okay, he's slowly rising to the occasion but hey, I'm saluting. But then he's looking at me and I'm looking at him. I doubt I'd get turned on if I looked at me either.

Crap. I know that look. He's going to eat me alive. Now he's hardening fast. His breathing is quickening, his eyes are darkening... and I'm in trouble with a capital F. It's my lucky day.

"See that rock?" he says, pointing to a large boulder by the side of the pool.

"Not an artefact?" I tease. He growls. Ooh. Goody.

"Put your hands on it. Bend over and give me that ass of yours."

Do I have to say that I am so there already? He's standing behind me, not saying a word, just breathing heavily. He hasn't touched me yet. What's he going to do?

DEARGODINHEAVEN! He's just surprised the shit out of me and grabbed my dick and he's working me fast. I can feel him, at my entrance, ready to push, but he's not pushing, just holding there as he jerks and jerks and I'm gonna come.

I am coming and he's just pushed in. I'm contracting around him - I can feel everything. He's grunting, moaning, generally reversing my alpha act ('cause that's all it is really, we all know that Daniel's the real alpha in our group. After Sam, that is). I'm squeezing him, I know it. He's pushing past that, in all the way. I'm panting hard, partly from having my orgasm shocked out of me and partly from having him inside me.

It's breathtaking. It should hurt like this. He's not waiting, not letting me adjust, just fucking me harder than I've ever been fucked before. But it's not hurting, it just feels so damned good.

"God, Jack, I'm gonna come," he's gasping.

"Do it!"

"Oh yeah, oh yeah, gonna... OH GOD YES!"

Do I have to say that his voice is loud? I don't huh? Good. Basically 'cause I don't think I'm gonna have much left in the way of hearing after that. Pavarotti's got nothing on my baby.

He's pulling out slowly and carefully, in direct contrast to how he got in.

"You okay? Did I hurt you?"

"'Mfine, babe. Not hurt. Gonna wince when I sit I think, but in a good way."

"There's a good way to wince?"

"Sure there is."

"Better to not wince," he says carefully.

"Better wincing than mincing," I tell him.

He looks at me as if he's not really with me or my train of thought. Probably just as well, really.

"Okay, let's have one last look around these caves then it's time to disturb the guys."

"You wish to frighten them?"

"Not today. Let's leave that for Hallowe'en. I'm thinking we dress up as ghosts and creep up at midnight, do a 'trick or treat' on them, whatd'yasay?"

He's looking at me as if I've just grown another head.

"How old are you, Samantha?"

"Hey, you're never supposed to ask a lady her age!"

"I was not. I was asking you."

Jack's right. He spends far too much time with Daniel.

"Samantha, look. On the cave walls. I do believe that this is the language of the Ancients."

"Well, you should know, honey."

The writing is about twenty feet in and in the dark. No wonder we didn't see it before.

"Can you tell what it says?"

"Some of it. There are words that I am not familiar with here. There is something about a woman, called Lucia. I'm not sure exactly what it says but the words 'goes', 'like' and 'comet' I think are there. And there is more. Something about Brutus who hung a horse? No, I am not making much sense here. There is more. 'Come to youth? 'Iuventus' I am sure that means youth. Perhaps it is the Ancients' name for this planet?"

"We need Daniel here, don't we?"

"We do. I am sure that he would translate it quickly. There is something here that is making me uneasy."

"What's that?"

"Certain words are repeated here. Over and over." Hell, he's doing a Daniel. His voice is trailing off as he concentrates on the words.

"What words, sweetie?"

"Calida, recreare, aetas, iuvenis. In many versions, with the different endings. But these root words are still here."

"What do they mean?"

Somehow, my stomach is telling me that this isn't good news.

"As I said, iuvenis is 'young'. Aetas, that means 'age'. Recreare means to recreate, or revive or refresh."

"Okay, I get the meaning. What about the other word?"

"Calida? I am not sure. Let me think. It may come to me."

"Last one in the spring's a rotten egg."

"First one in the spring will smell like one. It's a bit sulphurous, Daniel."

"It's a hot spring, Jack. They often do. Anyway, this explains the gate."

He's gotten that look on his face. The one that says that 'Daniel's off on a tangent again'. I'm not, not really.

"Do I gotta ask?"

"Speak properly, Jack."

"Natch. Well, oh-h-h-OOH God that's hot! Eh hem. As I was saying. Well, oh great genius. Speak. Inform the mere mortal of the amazing leap of intuition you have now made. And how come you're not in the water?"

"Just letting you go in first, make sure it's safe. You always tell me to. What's it like?"

"I haven't felt this relaxed in ages. Come on in, the water's wonderful."

Okey dokey, I'm a'comin'. Ouch! It is hot. But strangely comforting. Hmm, my skin is tingling. That feels good. I'm wading into it now, waist deep. Ooh, my dick is getting a kick-start. Come off it, I only used it a short while back. I'm not getting any younger, for crying out loud.

"So? You're going to tell me, right?"

"Oh! Yes, sure. Hot springs. Romans. You know how much they liked their hot baths. They built their bath buildings, the balneae in places like this. There would be the cold bath, the frigidarium, and the hot spring."

"Yeah, the calidarium."

That's my baby.

"You got it. Oh crap."

"Daniel? What's up?"

"Me. This is not possible."

"You're telling me. Mine too."

"You want to do something about it?"

"Well, seems a shame to waste it, doesn't it?"

"It sure does. How do you want to play this?"

"Um. How about you come here?"

Well, duh.

"I'm with you."

"I noticed."

Oh boy, Jack can kiss. And kiss. And kiss, actually. How long is that tongue of his? I could drown in him. I am going to drown. He's pulling me down. A quick gasp for breath and we're underwater. It's not so hot now we're in it. It just feels wonderful. This is incredible. Like being in space. The pool is deep, we aren't touching the bottom. I'm really liking Jack's thinking here.

Back up for a gasp of air and back down. Our mouths are attached to each other, our hands are all over each other. He's... oh God he's jerking me. Our feet are kicking and sending us back up. I'm stroking him. He feels so good in my hand and his hand feels so good on me. My eyes are shut. I'm just feeling my way through this.

He's broken the kiss, his spare hand is around my waist and mine is on his shoulder.

"Give it up for me, Daniel. I want to see you come. Want to hear you screaming my name as you shoot over my hand."

"*gasp* You sweet-talker *pant* you. Oh God *ugh* Jack, Oh God I'm, *huh* you want me to scream?"

"Scream, Daniel."

He asked for it. I am so going to do that. Right... about...


He's pushed my hand away and is now grinding into my hip.

"CHRIST Daniel!"

"I'd say that worked," I gasp.

He's chuckling, holding me close, his face buried in my neck.

"Love you, Daniel," he whispers.

"Love you too, Jack. Come on, let's get out, I need to lie down."

I'm now on my back, lying on a towel, and Jack's crawling up my body, looking predatory and, er, different?

"Jack? Your hair is brown."

"Funny, I was thinking that you were looking blonder."

"Jack, stand up."

He's standing up and I'm looking at him. He's looking as good as I've ever known him. Fit. Toned. Not as many scars as I'm used to seeing. Horny. Horny? Come on, he's only just come for fuck's sake. Shit, so am I.

"Daniel, you look different. Younger."

"I was just thinking the same thing about you, Jack."

Oh crap.

We need to bring Daniel here. I fear that there is something strange about this planet.

"Samantha, we need to..."

"I'm already on it. Hell, they're not answering their comms."

"Perhaps they are otherwise engaged?"

"Could be, could be. Aw hell, we're going to have to go over there. Come on, let's go to Mia and fly over. We're uncloaked so they'll see us coming. Hopefully before we see them."


Samantha is saying little, I feel her mind is elsewhere.

"C," she says. "F and C."


"There used to be the symbols, F and C, and I think that it has something to do with our problem. They were commonly used in place of something else. I can't remember for the life of me where though. I just know it's not so common now."

"Two symbols would suggest two items. Maybe two items that are closely connected. Can you think of the circumstances in which you would see them?"

"Domestically," she says. "I'm sure that it was domestically."

"So. You need to think of domestic items that have letters on them and come in pairs. There cannot be many things."

"True. I had mittens with L and R on them when I was little."

"L and R?"

"Left and right - I had difficulties remembering which was which when I was a toddler."

"I see. Anything else?"

"Let's see. Kitchen? Um. There were plenty of jars with the names of the contents on them, but no, I can't remember those letters. Living room? Um, no..."

"We are at Mia."

"Yes, we are. Come on, you drive, I'll think."

"Very well."

"Dining room? No. Not there. Bedroom. Maybe there. I had lots of things with words on there. Um... no, can't think."

"How about the bathroom?"

"Bathroom, bathroom, bathroo-oo-oom GOT IT! The faucets!"

"The faucets?"

"YES! We had an old-fashioned bathroom suite and on the faucets on the bath and the sink were the letters C and F. I remember thinking that it was strange, that it should be H and C. Because the C stood for..."

"Calida. Hot water. I remember now."

"That's it! Hot water... hot springs... rejuvination? Oh my GOD. Floor it Teal'c! The guys are in trouble if they go there!"

We're back at the camp. I feel strange. Good, but strange. Fitter than I have been in a long time, healthier too. And hornier. This is ridiculous. If Daniel and I so much as look at each other we want it. Daniel looks fucking edible. He's still built, he hasn't gone back to being the skinny thing I first knew. But he looks even cuter than before and if I tell him that I'll never have to worry about feeling horny again. He'll fix that problem for me - permanently.

"Jack? What's up?"

"Bad turn of phrase."

"Tell me about it. Look, the best that I can figure it, I'm about twenty-five again, at least physically. I can remember everything that I have done, know the same that I did before, it's just as if my cells have regained about twelve years. You look a fair bit younger than how you were when we met, so, given that I've 'regained' about a third of my age, you'll have done the same? That makes you about thirty, thirty-one? It's not so bad, is it? Apart from feeling permanently horny, that is."

"I was never this horny when I was thirty-one, Daniel. At thirty-one your libido tends to die down. Even then it takes about an hour to recover normally. Unless you're YOU in which case thirty-seven equates to seventeen."

"I'm not that bad, Jack. It takes me a while, usually. Depends on what we're doing, that's all. Perhaps we were supposed to wear underwear in the pool, you know, to protect ourselves."


"Our dicks, Jack. The skin there is a bit more sensitive, thinner, loads of nerve endings and all."

"Yeah, yeah, I get you. Perhaps you're right. We'll never be able to go out on a mission again."


"Jeez, Daniel! All I have to do is freaking look at you and I want you."

"You didn't before? I'm hurt."

I'm going to kill him.

"I used to be able to control it, a bit, you know, what with my advanced years and all. But now? Now I'm as horny as a sex-starved rabbit in a field full of does on heat."

"Does this mean you're going to fuck me again?"

"Every fucking chance I get."

"I think," he says carefully as he comes closer to me. "I think that I'm going to enjoy this."

"Daniel. Tell me this is abnormal for you? Please! You weren't constantly needing to do the bunny thing at twenty-five, were you?"

"Jack, at twenty-five I was in a relationship with a guy who was as hot as hell. Trust me, this was normal for me."

"You haven't changed."

"What do you expect? I'm now thirty-seven and in a relationship with a guy who's even hotter."

Okay, I'm not going to kill him.

"There is one down side to this," he says thoughtfully.

"What's that?"

"It took me years to turn you grey. I've got to start all over again now."

"D.D.Daniel? Don't you fucking DARE! I've had enough worry about you to last me TEN lifetimes. Please, Danny, please, don't you start taking risks."

He's laughing. Oh? It's like that, is it? Well, something he seems to have forgotten is that I am not only fitter and younger, but my knees are fixed and I'm sneaky.

He's caught the look in my eye and he's taken off. He's heading to the beach. Gotcha, Daniel. At thirty-one I could run as fast as you.

The wind is blowing through his hair as he runs along the sand. It's longer than when we moved here, he hasn't cut it much, and now it's blonder too. He looks like a fucking Adonis. But he's my Adonis, no one else's. Nearly with him, a quick dive and...

"OOF! Got you, Daniel."

He wriggles around till he's on his back, looking into my eyes as I lie on top of him.

"Yeah, you do. And I've got you, Jack."

"Always, Daniel."

He seemed to like the kissing thing earlier. How about a reprise?

The guys are at it again. Just kissing, thank heavens. They are good at that, not coming up for air in ages. Teal'c and I have parked the ship nearby so they know we're here.

"Guys, cut that out," I call as I move closer to them. "We've got something to warn you about. You know the hot springs? Well, don't go..."

Oh shit. Jack's just turned to face me.


"Too late, Carter. We've been there. It's okay, it's us, just younger looking. And feeling, actually."

Oh my GOD. Daniel's just stood up. Woof. I mean, the guy was gorgeous before, but now? Sex on legs. Hnnng.

"Holy Hannah, what happened?"

"As you guessed, Sam, it was the hot springs."

"What, you went in there and suddenly became a lot younger?"

"Sort of. We went in there, got completely covered, by the way, I don't know if that makes a difference, and then when we got out we noticed that we were looking, well, fitter and better toned and Jack's hair wasn't grey anymore."

"We'll need to run some tests on you."

"Carter! I just knew you were going to say that."

Jack's looking pretty annoyed with the thought, but I have to know that they're okay.

"Look, Jack, we have some bio-scanning equipment on Mia. Dad said it would be a good idea."

They're off the floor now and trudging towards me, looking... 'resigned' I think is the best term.


"So, Sam," Daniel says as he sits and waits for me to finish scanning Jack. "How did you know about the spring?"

"There's some writing in a cave on one of the other islands. It's graffiti for the most part, we think. Teal'c translated the words and found some were repeating a lot."

"Indeed," Teal'c takes over. "I realised that the root words, calida, recreare, aetas and iuvenis were constantly there. It took me a while to remember the meaning of calida, and then only with Samantha's help. I am sorry."

"Why? It's not your fault. We should have tested the waters first. I took us there, if it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

Jeez, Jack the Martyr strikes again.

"Jack, shut up. There were two adults there, remember? And I'm supposed to be the one that tests stuff. Anyway, it's not a problem, is it? Sam? Is there anything wrong with Jack?"

"Um, not as far as I can see, no. It would appear that his cells are healthy and his DNA is stable. I'll do another check tomorrow to be on the safe side. Daniel, you next."

He sits in front of me and thinks hard.

"You know, this could be to our advantage," he says suddenly.

There are times that I regret thinking out loud. I've got the guys looking at me as if I've gone mad again.

"Look. Very few Goa'uld know we're out here, right?"

"Right." Thoughtfully. In triplicate.

"And those that do know us as we were, right?"

"Right." Heh, heh, I like this.

"So, they're expecting me with brown hair, Jack with grey. It will just give us a moment while they puzzle it out - if we're caught, that is. Sometimes, a moment is all you need."

"Right!" They're with me now.

"And of course, when we find out who was really behind the cloning, we'll have the advantage. Any grey-haired Jack that turns up can't be mistaken for ours."

Five, four, three, two, one...


That's my baby.

"Daniel, what do you mean, the Goa'uld that's really behind the cloning?"

"Well, it couldn't be Hera, could it? To clone, you need genetic material. We'd never heard of her, let alone met her. Someone had to supply it."

I'd make good my escape but Sam's still scanning.


"Yes, Jack?"

"When did you think of this?"

"Oh, pretty much when Hera turned up and I realised who she was."

"And you didn't say anything why?"

"I thought you lot would have worked it out."

Nah, he's not going to buy that one either. Nope, I was right. Damn, he's getting good at the eyebrow raising.

"Jack, my mind was elsewhere at the time, okay? Let's just say I realised it and then filed the information. It's only now come back to me."

Crap and double crap, he's looking guilty again.

"Don't, Jack."

"Don't what, Daniel?"

"Don't you dare start that again."

He nods, quietly. I'm going to have to beat him up, I think.

"You finished, Sam?"

"Yeah, you're done. We'll do it again tomorrow, just to be sure, but as far as I can tell, you guys are fit and healthy."

"Thanks, hun. Jack - outside. Now!"

Without a word he leaves the ship and we head back to camp.

I am unsure as to what is going on between O'Neill and Daniel. They seemed happy earlier. However, as Samantha says, it is not our problem. They will sort it out.

"Teal'c? I'd like to go and run some tests up at the spring. Want to go for a walk?"

"I shall accompany you. Tell me, Samantha, are you considering entering the pool yourself?"

"I don't know," she says carefully. "I mean, if there are no ill effects, and to be honest, I don't see why there should be any, where's the harm? The Ancients obviously came here time after time if the graffiti was anything to go by."

"But they were not human, Samantha."

"Weren't they?"

"I do not understand."

"How do you know they weren't human? There are many myths of advanced cultures on Earth from thousands of years ago, Teal'c. Just ask Daniel about them. Sure, they think that Crete and the Minoans were probably the basis of the Atlantis myth, but we just don't know.

"And think about it. Over the last couple of hundred years, the Tauri have made huge technological leaps. Is it such a stretch of the imagination that they were advanced in the past, in a small area for example. Somewhere that we haven't yet found because it's under many feet of earth. Their language became Latin. The whole Mediterranean area looks little like it did even 5,000 years ago. Pre-flood, it was different again. We may never find where they lived.

"I'm not saying they were human, just saying that we can't rule out the possibility."

"You do have a point," I concede. "My own instinct is to say that it was an alien race, such as the Asgard are."

"Is that because you want it to be an alien race? Because you don't believe that humans have the ability to evolve so quickly?"

"No, not at all. But there is, as you say, no evidence of them that we can tell. And why would they revert?"

"You mean become technologically backward?"

"I do."

"Natural disaster," she says sticking up one finger and 'counting it off'. "Man-made disaster either technological or through war, and religion. Any of these reasons is enough."

"I understand."


It has taken us a while, but we are now at the hot spring. Samantha has taken out the test tubes from her case and is carefully collecting samples of the water and the local earth. She is wearing gloves to protect her.

"I can see why the guys just jumped in," she says. "It looks warm and inviting. I haven't had a bath in ages. Maybe I will take the plunge. What do you think, Teal'c?"

"If you think that it will do no harm to you, then I am in favour. My symbiote keeps me young. You have nothing to do that for you. At the moment, though, you do not need it."

She kisses my cheek.

"You," she says, "are the sweetest man."

I am?

I have totally pissed Daniel off. I shouldn't have reacted like that when he mentioned Hera. I guess I'm going to have to prove that I'm not reverting to the way I was yesterday. The sun is going down now though, so it's time to eat and then bed, methinks.

"Sam? Teal'c?"

"We are here, O'Neill."

"What are your plans for tonight? It's getting dark."

"We are currently returning to Mia. We have taken samples from the spring and will analyse them there. We shall stay on the ship, unless you have other plans?"

"No, that's good, Teal'c. Daniel and I will camp out tonight, okay? Call us on the comms if you need us."

"We shall. Goodnight, O'Neill."

"Night Teal'c."

Great. Comms are off, and so are we. Daniel's got the fire going again, it's time to stoke a few more flames though.



"I'm sorry. I'm a jerk and I know it. How about I prove to you that I'm so over it?"

His mouth twitches into a smile.

"How do you propose to do that?"

"Oh, I'm thinking, that maybe - maybe you know, it's not set in stone or anything - but maybe I'll tie you to that tree over there. After we've eaten, of course."

"Of course. And if you do this, tying me to a tree that is, what do you think you'll do then?"

He's trying to play it cool, but his breath hitched as I suggested tying him up.

"I'm not sure," I say slowly. "Maybe I'll strip you, get a good look at you in your youthful state. Maybe I'll get undressed myself. Maybe I'll fuck you so hard you won't be able to sit for a week. What do you think?"

He's swallowed hard and he's looking at me, his eyes smoky and full of lust. He's trying to control himself though.

"After we eat?"

"After, Daniel. I need to keep up my strength." I throw his own comment back at him.

He nods, says nothing else, but starts to get some food together quickly.


Okay, for the record, that was the quickest meal either of us have ever had. I've gone through the little box of tricks that Daniel brought and after I stopped blushing at the thought that Janet bought them for us, I've chosen a few items to make tonight go with a bang.


I've shown them to Daniel, not saying a word as I did it. He gasped, then gave me the filthiest smile I have ever seen. I take him over to a tree that has a branch a little above his head.

"Strip," I tell him. And he does. Slowly. Caressing his skin as he exposes it. Eep!

Finally, he's there. I take out some leather thongs, just thin, long strips really, and I take hold of his right hand, pull it up and tie it to the branch. There's no need to ask him if he wants this, his cock is pointing skyward and I think that if I touch it he's going to come. Now his left hand, pulled as far away from his right one as I can get it without lifting him off his feet. He's got a little bit of space so that he can spread his legs.

Now the lube. Flavoured. Passion Fruit. The thought makes me want to laugh. He sees me get it out and he lets out a low moan. I shuck my clothes in front of him, taking my time, making sure that he's watching me. He's swallowing, his dick is twitching and his breathing is quickening.

Behind him now, he's feeling my fingers at his ass, stroking, persuading him to open for me. On my knees, my tongue is taking my fingers' place and he's screaming. Literally screaming. I love to taste him, all of him; it's just for me and I know it. And it's good. I'm pushing my tongue inside him, rhythmically fucking him with it. He's crying out; more, always more. Time to up the stakes. I shuffle round on my knees and swallow him whole. No way is he going to last, especially now my fingers have replaced my tongue.

He's coming, just as I thought he would. Hard, fast, never-ending, spilling out of me as I can't swallow fast enough. Finally, he stops. His legs and arms are shaking with the effort of staying up, but he's going to stay up a bit longer. He'd be disappointed if I stopped this now. Back behind him and I slip inside him in one go, no need to stop, he's as open as he'll ever get. I hold onto his hips and I'm slamming into him, building up my speed and increasing my depth till I can do no more.

Now it's my turn, will it ever stop? Oh God, I'm feeling dehydrated.

It's over. I can't talk, can't really breathe, I'm just holding onto him, my arms around his chest, my head on his shoulder, my dick still up his ass. Pity it's got to come out because I could stay here forever.

I pull out reluctantly, undo his ties. He's frantic, holding me, touching me, kissing me as if he's never going to get the chance again. We're on the ground, rolling around, not stopping for anyone. Finally, exhaustion takes us and we break away, panting hard.

"You okay?" I gasp.

"Fine, amazing, stupendous, wonderful."

"Glad of it," I tell him, resting my head on his chest. "Thanks, babe, that was amazing."

"Huh? Thank you Jack. You did all the hard work."

"Yeah," I tell him as lightly as I can. "But I've never had anyone trust me the way you do. No one would have trusted me to tie them up, out here, in the open, whether there was anyone around or not. No one, Daniel. Only you. So, thanks."

He beams at me, bends his head and kisses me briefly.

"That was never in doubt, Jack."

The guys look fucked. Quite literally. God only knows what they got up to last night but neither can sit without wincing. They're also looking at each other and grinning, a lot. Do they ever think of something else? Probably not by the look of them.

Anyway, the news. Their DNA appears stable. They still look young, still feel healthy and I see no reason now why they shouldn't stay the same. Before I'm getting 'permission' to go and jump in myself, Daniel wants to look at the graffiti. Okay. He can look. Then I'm going in.

So, they've packed up, we've flown over and now we're trekking up to the caves.

"Why caves, Daniel?" I ask. "Why didn't they build?"

"I have no idea," he says. "Okay, well, I have one, but how likely it is I don't know. I'm guessing that people were only allowed to come here maybe once in a lifetime or once every so many years, to stop abuse of what is, in effect, a 'fountain of youth'. We have no idea whether it can safely be used more than once after all. So, by not settling here, it would have been easier for the ruling powers to control the use. On top of that, it may have been a day-trip thing, or used as a treat instead of a medal for brave or meritorious acts."

"That makes sense. But why the caves? Why not dip, get young and go home?"



He looks at Jack who shrugs in 'tell her' mode.

"Well, we noticed a side effect."

"A side effect?"

"Yeah, one we're hoping will wear off soon. Before something else does."

"Daniel! Tell me."

"Oh, okay. Well, Jack and I would appear to be permanently horny."

"Tell me something I don't know, Daniel."

"No, I mean, worse than before. And certainly worse than we should be at the ages we've reverted to. It's making things hard."

Bwahahahaha! OhmyGod he could have chosen a better phrase.


"Ah shut up, Sam," he scolds. "Trust me, it's not easy at the moment. All I want to do is grab Jack and..."

"Daniel, don't you fucking dare!" Jack yells. "Not now, give me a day or so, PLEASE!"

"Jack, I only said I wanted to, I didn't say I was going to."

Okay, I've contained myself. "So, what sets it off?" I ask in all seriousness.

"You really want to know?" he asks. Well, duh! "Jack. Just him. He's breathing. That is the be all and end all. He doesn't have to be awake either. Just breathing. As long as I know he's alive, I want to..."

"Okay, I get the message." So does Jack, poor dear. He's looking predatory. "But I still don't get the caves thing."

"You said there's lots of graffiti in there, didn't you?"


"Well then."


"Somewhere to 'go', Sam. No other natural cover. If they could walk over here, they'd want somewhere to go. Maybe there were other people around. The Ancients' equivalent of the back rows or the back seat of the car."

"Ah! But there's bat droppings all over the floor."

"There wouldn't have been then. Too many people coming and going, if you'll pardon the expression, would have put them off, made them find somewhere else to live."

"I get it now." Finally, it's starting to make sense.

We're at the caves and looking at the graffiti by torch light. Teal'c was right. It's graffiti written by horny youths, rejuvenated by the hot springs and basically fucking anyone they got the chance to. There is good news though. According to someone called Sabidius, they used to come here to make the most of the temporary increase in libido granted them. And apparently Quintia was happy to lay on her back for allcomers. Dear God, even the graffiti is full of double entendres.

Sextus also tells us that he's there as a reward for saving the life of a child. So, it looks as if I was right. This place was a treat for them. Nothing yet about how long the effects last though, but as Jack and I are still the same as we were when we came out of the pool and not feeling any ill effects, it should be safe for Sam.

"Here, Daniel, look at this. Patrimus loves Marcus. Aw, isn't that sweet? And they... Ohsweetjesus is that position even possible?"

Let's see. Wow. Um, not really sure about that. They've kindly included a diagram. Oh my. Is it getting hot in here?

"Guys? You found the answers yet?" Sam hollers.

"Yeah, think so, Sam," I squeak, getting away from Jack as quickly as I can. Dammit, I can NOT think this way. Not till tomorrow at least. My dick has got friction burns as it is.

Back outside now. The sun is going down again. Crap.

"We have to move, Jack," I call. "It's going to be too dark to get to Mia otherwise."

He comes out of the cave, Teal'c by his side. We quickly move back towards the ship, none of us are looking at the others as we pick our way through the darkening undergrowth.

We're there. On board. Good. I fire her up and we head back to our own island, we'll be there in a minute or two.

"So, Teal'c, did you learn anything more in the cave?" Sam asks.

"I did. It was most illuminating."


"So what?"

"What did you learn?"

This is something that I never thought I'd see happen. Teal'c is flustered. If he could, he'd be blushing.

"Teal'c? What was it?" I prompt.

"It was, it was..." Heh, heh, this is fun. "Some new and previously unknown to me, er..." Teal'c said 'er'? "Modi."

Modi? Measures, sizes, ways... oh! Methods. Ah. I'm with him.

"Also," he says, "I learned that Crastinus had a mentula perexiguus and that Olivia thought that Marcus was an irrumator obesus."

Don't you tell me that Teal'c isn't like other men. Jack's crying with laughter. Okay, I admit it, so am I. Sam's looking at me as if she wants to kill me and there's nothing I can do to stop her.

"What?" she's yelling.

"Ask Teal'c," Jack pants.


The men are most childish. However, I am glad that Samantha did not question me further. Her Latin knowledge is limited to scientific uses only, and she has no knowledge of the Ancients' variety. We are back on our own island, the men have retreated to their cabin, trying to keep their hands off each other. I am looking forward to Samantha visiting the pool.

We have eaten and now we are going to bed. It is late. She is still annoyed with me. I must remedy this.

"Samantha, I apologise for my behaviour."


"I should not have done that and I am sorry."

"Will you tell me what it said?"

"If I must."

"You must."

"Very well. I learned some new methods for..." I should not find this hard. I make love to the woman almost daily.



"Shall we try some of them out?"

"That would be... interesting."

"What made the boys laugh?"

"You do not want to know."

"I do. Or you're not going to try out the new methods."

"Olivia thought that Marcus was a fat bastard."

She is sniggering. "And the other one? I know there was something else."

"Crastinus had a small penis."

She is now laughing out loud, holding her ribs. I was right, I will never understand her.

It's been a week and Daniel and I are still young. Jacob's been and Daniel and Selmac chatted for hours about myths and stuff. They're of the opinion that Remoc is the foundation of the 'fountain of youth' myth. Daniel's in his absolute element.

While he was here, Teal'c announced that he, too, would like a change and asked for his tattoo to be removed. That is a real biggie, but it's the right thing to do, we think. We can always paint one on him, but he can't hide it without his head being covered. That is not always convenient.

So, he's gone with Jake to the Tok'ra. They've got someone good with changing people's looks, kind of necessary when your people spend most of their lives undercover.

Daniel also expressed his thought to Jacob that Hera wasn't the bigwig behind the cloning thing - but only admitting to have recently thought of it. Jake said he'd look into it. He could be right, in which case, we're going to have to be careful.

Sam's cut Daniel's hair for him again, it looks good. He was complaining that he didn't want it to do what it did when he was in his twenties and basically grow like wildfire.

We're waiting for Teal'c now, not upstairs but underground. Sam's not here, she 'wanted to be alone' for a while so she went to her cabin, we think. She and Teal'c have made a nice job of it and it's really homely. Daniel's cooking dinner, a stew of sorts because the weather is starting to close in. It's getting quite chilly.

Jacob's promised to run more tests on the waters from the spring. We've run a few of our own, putting whole plants into it and pulling them out then checking them out. They're becoming younger too, as best we can guess, by about a third of their age. We've put them back in after a few days and they haven't changed. We'll do some more tests, but we're hoping it means that we get to go and play in the water again - without the side effects. I look forward to it.

What's that? Oh, the rings.

"Hey guys," Sam's voice rings out.

"Hey," we call back. I see Daniel's face drop. Or rather his chin has dropped. His mouth is open and his eyes are wide. I turn and look. Oh my fucking God.


"You went in the hot spring?" Daniel squeaks.

"Yeah, you two seemed to be okay so I didn't see why not. I don't see much difference myself."

"You don't?"

She may not but we have. She is glowing.

"Fuck." Okay, I shouldn't say that but hell, she's beautiful.

"Jack," Daniel's growling. He's looking at me though, not her. This is good.

"When's Teal'c coming back?" she asks.

"Soon, I hope," I say. Daniel's still growling. He's jealous? Of me? Of her? What?

Aargh! He's slung me over his shoulder and he's running to the rings! Aw fuck. I thought he was over this.

Here we go again.