"Many roses are not red. And are not violets named for their color?"
"Well, yes but..."
"Then this sentiment is inaccurate." Teal'c shoved the card back on the rack and turned to glare at Daniel with barely concealed impatience. "To further declare that a common sweetener is sweet is a redundancy and I consider MajorCarter to be neither common nor redundant."
"Okay, you have a point." A point that slipped right past symbolism and came down on literal interpretation like a ton of bricks, but still, a point. Daniel scanned the cards for sentiments that came without a prosaic translation.
Valentine, you make my heart sing!
Teal'c's heart was not likely to start performing arias any time soon.
Let's grow old together, Valentine!
And that one would elicit the information that Teal'c was already considerably older than Sam and while they would both continue to grow older it would not be at an equivalent rate.
Talking bunnies, kittens, and bluebirds were out for obvious reasons and experience had taught Daniel that cross-gender humor was tricky. Cards that men thought were hysterical often resulted in hurt feelings or homicidal rages. Considering that Sam was usually armed...
The odds were good he wasn't going to spot a card that read: Happy Valentines Day, teammate! Let's get hinky!
"Maybe you should just stick to chocolates, Teal'c."
Arms folded, the Jaffa shook his head. "MajorCarter has informed me that she is watching her weight."
"She may be, but you're not supposed to. If you don't get her chocolates, she'll think you think she's fat," Daniel explained as Teal'c's brows rose. "If you do get her chocolates, she may think you're trying to get her fat but she'll have the chocolates to console herself with."
The brows dipped down to nearly meet over the bridge of Teal'c's nose. "That makes no sense."
"Exactly."
Sighing, Teal'c turned to face the shelves of heart shaped boxes on the other side of the aisle. "These do not look like the organ in question."
"We went through that last year," Daniel reminded him, trying not to shudder at the memory of last year's visual aids. Valentine's Day had occurred while they were off planet and, after the fight to get home, there'd been plenty of body parts around the gate platform. "Why don't you just get her the chocolates and tell her how you feel?"
"Because I wish to participate in the traditions of her culture."
Daniel picked up the largest, most heavily decorated box and shoved it into Teal'c's hands. "Trust me, this and a personal poem from you and you'll be participating in traditions!" He winked as Teal'c looked confused.
"That was an innuendo?" the Jaffa ventured after a moment.
"And obviously not a very good one," Daniel allowed as they headed toward the front of the store.
"You believe MajorCarter will appreciate poetry?"
"I believe she'll appreciate you making the effort."
"Some roses are red. Violets are purple not blue. While destroying false gods, I enjoy fighting next to you."
Daniel stopped dead and turned to stare at the larger man. Teal'c had the best poker face of anyone he'd ever met and he had no idea if that bit of doggerel had been a serious attempt or if he'd just had his leg pulled hard enough to dislocate it. Finally he settled on a weak, "Maybe a little more effort." and started walking again.
"Men do not go through this when there are not women involved?"
"Not generally, no."
Teal'c snorted and just out of earshot of the cashier muttered, "Then I see the attraction of your relationship with O'Neill."
"Well, it's one of the benefits..."
His fingers dragged the bottom sheet up into damp handfuls of crushed fabric in an attempt to keep from grabbing Jack's ears and forcing some kind of resolution. A previous attempt had resulted in a total loss of contact and a threat to go watch hockey. Jack's weight kept his ass pinned to the bed and Jack's elbows kept his legs spread so far apart he'd be able to feel the stretch in the inner muscles of his thighs had he been able to feel anything but the torture being visited on his cock.
Which twitched in an alarmingly involuntary way as Jack's teeth drove sharp shards of white-hot sensation directly from cock to brain.
"Jack... please!"
An instant of tight, wet friction then cool air lapped the shaft once again as Jack's tongue lapped pre-come off the tip.
"Oh god! I'm d... dying here!
A soft whuff of laughter: part warm air, part vibration and totally maddening. "Not if you can still talk."
"Oh come...JaCK! When have you ever known me... ohgodohgodFUCK!... not to be ab... ab... able.. God damn IT!... to talk?"
"Fair point."
Daniel was way past caring about fair. After being kept on the edge of orgasm for nearly twenty-minutes - and yes he goddamn well did glance at the clock -- he was way past caring about anything except finally getting off. If the Goa'uld chose this precise moment to attack the Earth, they'd have to take a number.
On the other hand if the Goa...JesusfuckingGodohGod...uld did attack now maybe Jack would fucking fin...ISH!"
Jack had apparently decided that he'd tormented Daniel long enough - a decision Daniel was in complete agreement with. He slid one finger inside Daniel'd body, already slick and loose from their earlier fucking, and as he crocked and twisted it, he slid his mouth down the length of Daniel's cock and swallowed.
Language turned to inarticulate sounds as Daniel writhed between sensations. Coherent thought fled as the tension built higher harder hotter...
"Daniel?"
The voice sounded vaguely familiar. He managed to get an eye open.
"You okay?"
His throat hurt. He suspected there'd been screaming towards the end. "I think I'm dead."
"What again?'
"Bite me. OW!" The bed rocked as Jack settled down beside him and drew the covers up over them both. He managed to peel enough skin off the sweat-soaked sheets to roll over onto his side and throw an arm across Jack's body. "You're disturbingly good at that."
"Yes I am."
A few moments passed and a few more brain cells came back online. "Jack, what would you say if I said: roses are red?"
"Why? Are you likely to?"
So he twirled a finger sleepily through chest hair and told Jack about the morning's shopping expedition with Teal'c. About how difficult it had been to find the right card for the Jaffa to give to Sam and how Sam would probably appreciate the chocolates especially if they came with a piece of personal poetry but sometimes it was hard to tell with women and he really hoped he hadn't steered Teal'c wrong because the two of them certainly deserved...
"Daniel?"
"Hmmm?"
"Roses are blue, violets are red, no Carter and Teal'c while we're naked in bed."
"But..."
"No. This bed isn't big enough for all four of us."
"It is though, if..."
"You'll pardon the expression, I don't want to be crass -- but I don't need an audience while I'm nailing your ass."
Daniel snickered. A hard sentiment to argue with actually. "Happy Valentine's Day, Jack."
"What? I don't rate chocolates?"
--end--