...what has passed...
....."I love you, Danyel."
Daniel sat on his bed, his back against the headboard. In his hands, the marriage bowl used in the ceremony he'd been clueless about until after the fact. They'd had that meal, and then suddenly he was being led to a room and being cloth-bathed in unusual soaps and oils. They smelled strange and at the time, Daniel had thought of yak hair.
Hair. Daniel set the bowl down and picked up the comb made of animal bone that Shau're had used for her thick black hair. He looked down and found the decorative bead necklace. Suddenly, he picked it up, along with the bowl, and held the items against his chest. The tears finally fell. They were a mixture of grief, loneliness, and the pain of guilt. He fell over onto his side and wept silently, letting the memories of her and his home on Abydos run through his mind.
All he'd done was given Kasuf a candy bar, but it seemed he'd been given a wife in return. One he'd loved dearly. After their six or seventh mission, Sam had found out how he and Shau're had gotten married and had actually been insulted on behalf of women everywhere.
Daniel shook his head. Poor Sam. She had her own problems, didn't she? Trying to be a woman in a military mindset; having to work twice as hard, trying to shove away her femininity at times just to get people to listen and not look. Shau're had actually had the same problem on Abydos. Trying to get men to listen to her and not look. It was so unfair.
Unfair.
He'd let his thoughts wander to Sam when he'd been thinking of Shau're. What the hell was the matter with him? Why couldn't he stay focused on what he wanted?
He knew the answer to that.
He was afraid. He didn't want to let himself grieve fully. He kept himself distracted; even with the marriage bowl, the comb, and necklace held against his chest, he was distracted. And withdrawn.
It had been a week since she'd died and he couldn't - wouldn't - leave his apartment and had refused to see anyone. He'd only spoken to his friends on the phone and once with General Hammond. Just as with the dream or message or whatever the hell it was that Shau're had sent him, all he wanted to do was retire from the SGC; to give up and go far away. Except two things kept him from doing that: his promise to Shau're...and Jack.
Jack. Daniel scrunched up his face in guilt as he remembered yelling at Jack, telling him to fuck off and die and leave him the hell alone. "It's your fault. I should've looked harder for her and you distracted me! It's your fucking fault."
Irrational, false, and hateful words. Why did he say that to his best friend? He hadn't meant to hurt him, but he did. He knew he did. Now their relationship was over, too, wasn't it?
Fuck, when it rained, it poured.
Jack sat in his truck in the parking lot of Daniel's apartment complex. It was evening and the lights in Daniel's apartment hadn't been turned on. He waited...and then waited some more. The last week replayed in his mind, then the last three years, including his first mission with Daniel...and watching as Shau're had kept sending Daniel shy, almost furtive glances.
Jack remembered when Daniel had finally told him that Kasuf had given Shau're to him as a wife. It had been their second week there and one of their better nights as developing friends. They'd been drinking something, sitting out on the sand, staring up at the stars.
"I can't believe he 'gave' her to me, Jack. That is so...denigrating...for her, I mean, 'cept she doesn't see it that way."
Jack remembered the confusion on Daniel's face, the humility, modesty - words he'd come to find out were incongruous with this so-called mild archaeologist-geek.
Passion, that's what he'd discovered Daniel was. Just raw, unadulterated passion. Except when he withdrew from the world, and maybe even then.
Jack brushed the back of his hand against his face, attempting to remove the evidence of tears. Tears for his best friend, his lover. He knew the words Daniel had hurled at him were out of grief. Hell, he'd been expecting them, and frankly, had expected something more vicious from the man. He knew Daniel was capable of it when he was heartbroken or outraged.
Not a single light had been turned on in his apartment yet, not even in his bedroom. Jack knew Daniel needed the time to grieve but he just couldn't let him do it alone, and he couldn't let him fall into the pit he knew Daniel wanted to die in. He understood. Daniel blamed himself for all of it and Jack could no more rid Daniel of that thought than Daniel could convince Jack that Charlie's death wasn't his fault.
Two souls with a hell of a lot of guilt.
Jack sighed. Well, enough was enough. Time to push that guilt aside for the moment and make Daniel accept the comfort. Come hell or high water, or black eye, if need be.
Jack got out of his truck and used the key Daniel had given him two years earlier, quietly letting himself in the apartment. The place wasn't that messy, which told Jack that Daniel had hardly done anything, including eat. He shrugged off his jacket and hung it up, then taking a deep breath, he headed for the bedroom, knowing that was where Daniel would be.
Opening the door carefully, he took a step inside. The street lights illuminated the dark room and Jack could just barely make out Daniel, lying on his side in the middle of the bed, clutching something to his chest. Jack then spied the decorative basket and knew what the objects were. Well, not exactly what they were, but where they'd come from.
Daniel hadn't moved so Jack listened, straining his ears to concentrate. Daniel had fallen asleep. Pressing his lips together, Jack toed off his shoes, then carefully slid onto the bed, reclining on his side behind his friend.
Daniel jerked awake and looked behind him. Even in the dark, Jack could see the few days' beard growth and understood the lack of desire to shave. In a foul or deeply sad mood, things like shaving weren't important.
"Hey," he said softly and ran his fingertips over Daniel's unkempt hair.
Daniel blinked and when he realized that Jack wasn't a dream, his face collapsed in a silent mask of grief and tears, loving Jack more for coming back to him, for not being angry.
"Danny, c'mere," Jack whispered and gently pulled him around and held him against his chest, rocking him slowly. "I know, Danny. I know."
Daniel wept, almost silently, for a short time, wetting Jack's shirt, then muffled words escaped his lips, spoken against Jack's chest. "I'm so sorry I said those things, Jack."
"Forget it, Daniel. I knew the place they came from."
Relieved at the words, Daniel's taut, tension-filled body collapsed completely against him. He let go of Shau're's things that were still held crushed against his chest, and allowed Jack to hold him even closer. They lay together, waiting for the storm to abate, while the two of them unknowingly thought the same thing: when would they ever get away from sorrow?
...and what goes on...
Eight weeks later
Daniel had started to drive home, but instead, found himself parked in Jack's driveway, trying to find the right words to say to his lover. A light spring rain had started to fall as he sat there, rubbing his temple, wondering how in hell he was going to fix this mess he'd made. For all he knew, it could be over between them and he didn't want that.
The eight weeks since Shau're had died had been emotionally hard and he was still deeply saddened at Shau're's loss. Throughout his grief, Jack had been there and their bond had amazingly intensified. Daniel hadn't even realized how much until that mission to Vyus...and Ke'ra.
Reflecting back on the last two days, he wondered what the hell he'd been thinking. He had felt himself attracted to something about her and had been drawn to her strength, her commitment. She'd certainly flirted with him, and let him know in no uncertain terms, that she was attracted to him. When she'd kissed him, he'd felt the tiniest bit of stirring in his groin but instead of taking that as a warning to back off, his curiosity propelled him forward and he'd done what he always had. He explored further. Always pushing the limits, as Jack had once told him. So, he'd kissed her back.
Then came the reality shock when Sam had told him that Ke'ra was Linea. Daniel winced, remembering how irrational he'd been through all of it, trying to save the woman he knew as Ke'ra. It had nothing to do with any attraction on his part, as Jack, Sam, and even Teal'c, had thought. No, he'd seen her in the same plight as Shau're: a kind, generous, intelligent woman living with an alternate, and very evil, personality. The Goa'uld could be considered that, if one looked at them in that light.
Daniel had been mad as hell at having to tell Ke'ra that she had had to stay put in the VIP room. Plus, he had been irrationally mad at her, as well. She hadn't deceived him on purpose, but it still felt as if she had.
Then Jack had been there, waiting for him, as if in ambush. Daniel hadn't talked to Jack at all since they'd all found out who Ke'ra really was, so Jack had taken the time...for once...to try and 'talk' to Daniel...and for once, Daniel hadn't talked. When he had rounded the corner, he'd seen Jack and instead of stopping, instead of greeting him like he would have, he'd given Jack 'the blank look'. Jack had asked his question, Daniel had given him his pat answer and then he had kept on going. Maybe because he had done that, Jack had said...those words. Daniel wasn't sure, but he knew damn well that Jack had said them to get his attention...and that they did.
"I'm not sayin' that the first woman you've fallen for since Shau're isn't a peach, but if she remembers who she is, you'll be the first to go."
The last part of what Jack had said hadn't bothered Daniel, but the first part had. Jack had somehow assumed that he was interested in Ke'ra, and maybe it looked that way, but that wasn't what it was. At least, not consciously. And fallen for? No, Daniel didn't think so. He had no interest in finding someone else. He had Jack. Even when he was looking for Shau're, he was happy with Jack. And happily falling in love with Jack, if he was to be honest with himself. But those words had cut him, intentionally or not, and he had not bothered to turn and argue. Jack had pissed him off by saying what he had, and maybe, just maybe, that had been Jack's purpose. Instead of rising to the bait, he'd walked away from Jack and had barely spoken to him since.
Daniel thought again of their last conversation. They had been talking, or trying to, as they had made their way to their vehicles in the parking garage. What they had been trying to discuss, albeit uncomfortably, was Daniel's harmless flirtation and overt protection of Ke'ra. Daniel had thought it was a calm conversation but he had suddenly seen this heated, angry look in Jack's eyes. The same look that Jack had assumed earlier that day as well as the day before. The look of jealousy.
Jack had turned to him as they'd reached his truck, and that look was still there, though he could see Jack was trying to suppress it.
"Daniel, what happened between the two of you?"
"Nothing happened, Jack."
"Bullshit, Daniel. 'Something' happened. What?"
Daniel remembered clearing his throat; remembered feeling that insane urge to be honest but a part of him was telling him that the parking garage was no place to be talking. Unfortunately, his desire to be honest had over-ridden common sense.
"Well, just after she arrived at the base, and after I'd taken her and the others on that short tour, I escorted her to her room and we discussed whether she wanted something to eat. I was...very nervous...and she..." and he'd shaken his head.
"Out with it, Daniel."
"She came on to me. I tried to let her down gently and...I lied..."
"You lied? About what?"
"I made it seem as if I was interested."
"You weren't?"
"Well, not exactly."
"How...exactly?"
"I told her that I was very..."
"Very?"
"Very."
"Then what?"
"She...kissed me," and Jack's eyebrows had shot up.
"Yeah," was all Daniel had said, nodding in agreement to Jack's surprised expression.
Jack had eyed him more closely then, knowing there was something more, judging by the guilty look Daniel wore. "And?"
"I...um...kissed her back."
"Ex...cuse me?"
Daniel had winced and had given Jack an apologetic glance.
"Why?" Jack had drawled.
"Jack, could we just..."
"Why?" Jack had asked a little louder.
"I don't know why."
"The hell you don't." Pissed at the unacceptable answer, Jack had stormed off.
That had been two hours earlier. Daniel had been flustered by Jack's question, but it was more Jack's demeanor that had kept him from being able to think up an answer for him. Truth was, at the time, Daniel hadn't known why exactly. But he did now. Now that he had time to think about it...or more accurately, now that Jack had forced him to think about it.
Sitting there, in his car, in the rain, Daniel was wondering what the hell he could say or do to make it up to Jack...and wondering if Jack would let him.
Jack looked out between the curtains for the third time.
"What the hell is he sitting out there for?" he mumbled out loud. Jack didn't need to ask, however. He knew the answer. Daniel was out there 'cause he felt guilty. Hell, he was guilty. He'd kissed that...woman. Jack shook his head suddenly, disgusted with Daniel and disgusted with the universe for dropping yet another psycho bitch into Daniel's lap...er, figuratively speaking.
Jack concentrated on those things instead of the hurt he felt. What Daniel had admitted earlier had shaken him up, scared him. He'd gotten mad as a result. Well, no that wasn't completely true. Jack had been mad for two days. Daniel's overt flirting with that woman had started it, but Jack had chalked that up to that rebound effect. Even if Shau're had actually been gone for three years, she was now most assuredly dead.
Jack winced as he thought. Yes, Shau're was dead. Daniel had put on the brave routine and tried to get on with everything. All the while, Jack had been afraid of losing him, but slowly he'd come to realize that his fears were groundless. Until now. Now, he was afraid of losing him again, and the trivialness of it made him all the more madder. The bitch was gone and out of their lives so why was he still angry? Because nothing had been settled or understood, that's why.
Daniel had been in her room on that first night...and he'd been in there for a while. One...no, two kisses...that's all it was. But it seemed to him that he'd been with that woman longer than that. He'd certainly spent enough time with her. Jack had already conceded to himself that that was another reason why he was mad.
No. Not mad. Jealous.
Okay, fine. I'm jealous. So fucking what.
Taking a deep breath, he started for the door, then stopped. What if Daniel was there to end their relationship?
Jack blinked, then swallowed. Re..lation..ship
Crap. He never thought he'd ever apply that word to Daniel but he had; several months before, in fact. And it still sounded weird. But accurate. They may not live together - and couldn't, not without raising suspicion - and they may not have sex all the time, but they did spend all of their time together. Well, almost all of their time together.
Jack sipped at his beer and leaned against the door, thinking his thoughts through. He was still pissed off, still worried, still...afraid, but all of his feelings were useless to think about until Daniel got his ass in the house and explained himself. Sighing, he pushed off from the door, returned to the kitchen, and went back to finish preparing his dinner.
Ten minutes later, Daniel was standing at Jack's door...but he wasn't knocking. He was still trying to find the right words...the right words to make things better. He was also getting soaked. The light rain had turned into a shower and he'd been forced to stick his glasses in his jacket or he'd have been constantly wiping at them.
Daniel raised his hand to knock, sure that he could tell Jack this time, but then withdrew his fist and sagged back against the door frame, feeling like a complete idiot. Why the hell couldn't he just say the fucking words? What was the big deal? Because he was embarrassed, that was why.
Suddenly, his ruminations were interrupted when the door opened and an impatient Jack stood there, tea towel in hand.
"Are you going to come in, or stand there and get soaked?"
Daniel comically looked down at himself and Jack fought back the humour he felt in reaction.
"Hi...I, um, came over to talk," he told Jack carefully. Jack gave him one of those 'well, duh,' looks, then walked away from the open door, letting Daniel close it.
"You want something to drink?" Jack called out from the kitchen as Daniel hung up his half-wet jacket.
"Um, thanks."
Jack didn't seem angry, but Daniel knew better. There was a stoked furnace under that façade of calm. He walked into the kitchen and Jack handed him a glass of whiskey on ice. The sudden speed of it told Daniel that Jack had been waiting for him. Not wanting to beat around the bush or delay the inevitable, Daniel decided that he should just get it all out now.
"Are you still pissed with me?"
"Yes," Jack answered immediately as he took a sip from his beer, then placed the potatoes in the oven. Steaks...two of them, lay on butcher paper on the counter. Daniel stared at them. It was a sign, a welcome one, that Jack hadn't given up on him. He took a long drink from his glass and leaned against the edge of the dining table.
"I'm sorry."
Jack looked at him in controlled exasperation, then rolled his eyes and shook his head once. "I know that, Daniel. Question is, do you?"
Daniel frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Why did you kiss her? Did you do it because you're looking elsewhere for...you know?"
Jack had said it so plainly, Daniel thought. And the words shocked him. "NO! I'm not." He swallowed convulsively. "At first, she reminded me of Shau're." Jack's surprised look made him expand on that. "Um, that is, her humanitarianism. You know, the take-charge kind of attitude when it comes to caring for others."
Jack lifted his head in understanding, but inwardly, he didn't see it. Sure, 'Ke'ra' had wanted to heal people, but to Jack, he saw that as part of Linea, not 'Ke'ra'. He could no longer separate the two and wondered how Daniel still could.
"I'm listening..." Jack reminded him as Daniel didn't continue.
"Right," Daniel replied. "Um..."
"Daniel...just spit it the fuck out."
Daniel took a breath as if to speak and clammed up again as if something were blocking his throat. He turned away from Jack, unable to look him in the eye. "I was...curious," and he winced at the words, knowing how stupid they sounded.
Jack stared at him, his mouth dropping open for a moment before he snapped it shut. "Curious?"
Daniel looked down at the wood grain of the table, his fingers nervously tracing the patterns. "Yeah, I...was...curious. I don't know how else to explain it, Jack."
Jack let out a long-suffering sigh. "Here's one for you. Maybe you were thinking with your dick."
"NO, JACK! I WASN'T!" Daniel whirled around, yelling back, but his guilt wouldn't let him look into Jack's eyes. "Well...not exactly."
Jack frowned, trying to understand. "I don't get it. If you weren't, then what the fuck were you thinking?"
Daniel swallowed again, feeling as if there was something in his throat. A tiny part of his mind whispered, 'yeah, Daniel, it's called fear, spit it out'. He took a deep breath and half turned to him, casting Jack quick side-long glances, still unable to look at him for long.
Jack knew what those glances and eye movements were, too. After three years, he'd learned to know what they meant. Daniel-speak for "I'm embarrassed to say" or "I'm lying through my teeth, can you tell?" So...which one was it? Jack carefully watched him and knew by the rest of his body language that it was embarrassment.
"I wanted to find out if I could...still be attracted to...you know."
Jack's browline raised significantly. "Women? You're not attracted to them anymore, is that what you're saying?" He saw Daniel visibly wince. Yep, he was embarrassed. "Shit, Daniel..."
"Jack, I didn't know why at the time. When she kissed me, I felt almost nothing," and as the words flowed from him, he felt a bit stronger so he turned back to fully face his best friend. "I haven't had a...reaction...to a woman since I saw Shau're, pregnant, on Abydos. I don't really know why...er, exactly...but I know it's psychological. I've always been bisexual so I thought that maybe it was some sort of hysterical reaction to the stress...but after a while..."
Jack couldn't help it. He snorted in surprise as he shook his head in amazement. "Daniel...every man has--"
"That's the point, Jack! I don't. Not anymore, not...like I used to." He turned away again.
Jack sort of understood and part of his anger rolled away. "Okay...so what...you wanted to see if you could still get it up?" He saw Daniel grimace and nod his head mutely and sighed at him once more. He was afraid of this. The playing field had just been narrowed. For some reason, that bothered him. Normally, a smaller field of rivals would be good, but Jack didn't see it that way.
"So...what you're saying is that you can only get it up for guys now?"
The abruptness, rudeness, of the question made Daniel slowly turn around. He stared hard at Jack, started to say something but nothing came out of his mouth. He cleared his throat and tried once more.
"Not...really. Actually, the only person I feel anything for is...you." He didn't turn away this time and kept his eyes level with Jack's. If Jack was bothered by this, he'd soon know. Despite their closeness, and despite the fact that they each knew the other loved them, they were still awkward about it and it was beginning to wear on Daniel. He'd always hated that men were so conditioned against revealing their emotions.
Jack blinked. "Just me?" he asked, not believing him. "Oh come on, Daniel. You see someone good looking and you don't feel that twitch, that slight arousal?"
Daniel frowned at him. "Yes, of course I do. But I don't...get...you know."
Jack inhaled deeply, then emptied his beer. As he tossed the bottle in the recycle bin under the sink, he asked, "Okay...so then what was all that with Ke'ra? You had to have felt something, Daniel, or you wouldn't have been flirting with her so much."
"Okay...so maybe I liked her a little bit," Daniel said defensively. "I told you, I was..."
Jack's anger, and jealousy, started to reassert itself and he couldn't stop himself from sniping. "Curious, yeah, you said that. Curious enough to kiss her. Who knows, if you'd had more time--"
"Stop it!" Daniel spat, feeling angry at Jack for his foul thinking. "I wouldn't have."
Jack snorted derisively. "It sure looked like you would have, Daniel, otherwise, why were you ignoring me?"
Daniel scowled. "I wasn't."
"Don't lie, Daniel. You acted as if you were mad at me for no good reason and--"
"Not true!" Daniel countered. "You pissed me off. You just had to act...jealous."
"It seems I had a reason to," Jack said with quiet sarcasm.
"No...you...okay, maybe a little...but you didn't have to go and say that stuff to me about Ke'ra killing me. You didn't know if--"
"Daniel! We're talking about Linea, here. Granted she was a great looking woman when she was young, and a handsome woman later on, but she was a psychopath, Daniel."
Daniel scowled. "I fucking know that."
They glared at each other for a few silent moments until Jack's glare seemed to intensify. "You were also ignoring me because you felt guilty."
Jack's accusation made him a lot more defensive, and as a result, Daniel fired back automatically. "Okay, Jack, if you know so much, then why don't you explain to me why the fuck you felt it necessary to kiss that other Sam?"
They both blinked at the question. Daniel had no idea where that question came from. He hadn't realized he kept resentment about that buried. He suddenly wondered if maybe he'd been subconsciously paying Jack back for kissing that other Sam. Had he? At the time, Daniel had tried to ignore that kiss and told himself Jack was just being nice to her because she'd lost her husband. Jack was like that. He got so unbelievably mushy sometimes. Even so, Daniel remembered feeling a tiny bit of jealousy and hadn't liked it so he'd let it go. But now, that jealousy was asserting itself along with Jack's, and judging by the look on Jack's face, the question had him back-pedalling.
Jack felt as if he'd been ambushed by the question and was completely unprepared to answer it. Unlike what Daniel had said, Jack had felt something when he'd kissed the Alternate Universe Sam. Maybe not a lot, but something. He hadn't wanted to explore the 'why' too much. He'd just accepted the feeling as being 'normal' and had moved on, especially as it was less than likely that it would happen again with another woman...especially with his 2IC. However...even if the reasons were different as to why he'd kissed someone else, and even if he'd felt guilt for it, there wasn't any intent, was there? And it dawned on him: no intent on either side. The anger and heat inside Jack dissipated considerably. It was the case of the 'pot calling the kettle black' wasn't it? He glanced at Daniel and bit his lips together.
"Daniel, I'm sorry about that."
Daniel narrowed his eyes, his own jealousy increasing by the second. "Answer my question."
It was not Jack's turn to feel defensive. "I did feel sympathy for her, Daniel. She'd lost her husband. But the difference between these two events was that mine wasn't in secret."
Daniel gave him another defensive look. "Mine wasn't meant to be...and neither was yours. I think Sam was more disturbed by that kiss than I was...since...you were, in effect, kissing her."
Jack thought about that for about two seconds. "No...it was the other one. And just...don't go there, Daniel. It'll just give me a headache."
Daniel couldn't help but smirk a little, feeling the tension loosen slightly. Jack, on the other hand, was still tense. He had something else to bring up about this whole mess. Something that had been slowly pissing him off.
"There's something else, Daniel."
"What?" Daniel frowned. The look on Jack's face wasn't good.
"I can excuse the kiss on the grounds you gave me. They're...logical, for lack of a better word," and he grimaced at using the word. "However, it still doesn't explain the rest of your actions and I'm still pissed off at you about them."
"What?" Daniel asked a bit louder, his own impatience showing.
"When Teal'c and I burst into the room, you...put...yourself...in...the...path...of...my...sidearm..." and he gave Daniel his very serious 'explain that or else' look.
Daniel winced...slightly; his cheeks and nose twitched. "I'm sorry, Jack. I had to try and talk her out of it. I had another way to convince her and I didn't have time to stop and tell you about it."
"Don't you realize that when you do that, I lose my ability to command you...and to keep you safe?"
Daniel snorted. "We weren't in the field, Jack, and even then, I have equal rank, or so you keep forgetting."
Jack nodded. "Yes, you do, Daniel, and I'm sorry I don't treat that with better respect. However, that only applies during scientific missions, not during combat situations. That situation in the VIP room was a combat situation, Daniel."
"I wasn't about to let you shoot her, Jack. I had another way. Why can't you just trust me?"
Jack sighed. "I do, Daniel. It's why I didn't fire."
Daniel assumed a worried look. "What does that mean?"
Jack remembered Daniel holding out his hand, his body only partially blocking Ke'ra's, and because of that, Jack wasn't extremely pissed with him. He was used to Daniel's behavior and had come to expect it. It never stopped him from lecturing or reprimanding his friend because of it, however.
"I had clear line of sight."
Daniel froze. "What?"
Jack tapped the center of his forehead. "I had the shot, Daniel."
Daniel worked his jaw, doing his oft-used impression of a fish. He had absolutely nothing to say to that...until the shock wore off. Jack hadn't taken a shot that he'd just said that he had, which meant that...
"You were listening to me," he stated.
"Yes, Daniel. I heard what you said, and I knew what it meant. So, I gave you the chance to get through to her. It was still a temporary measure. She's an highly intelligent, determined, and very stubborn woman. She'll take the antidote eventually because the lie she's been told won't hold up for long. You should have let me take the shot. For that matter, Hammond should never have let her leave." He sighed heavily then and finished his beer as he leaned against the sink.
Daniel's jaw worked again...and his anger started to build again...only this time, over their age-old argument about shooting someone to get rid of the problem. He wanted to argue about it, too, but he knew there really wasn't any point. When it came down to it, he knew Jack was right and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all.
Jack didn't like it, either, for the opposite reasons. This was one area they would endlessly argue. He wondered if Daniel would ever see his point.
Daniel may not have liked it, but he did see Jack's point, and with reluctance, he nodded at him, showing him that he supported his position.
He took another deep breath and went to stand in front of Daniel, touching his arm...realizing that it had been the first time he'd touched him in two days. Daniel stiffened under his touch for a moment, then seemed to give into it. Jack watched Daniel swallow, his throat working with a bit of difficulty. Yes, the tension was still there, for both of them. The anger. The jealousy. But there was something else.
When Daniel met his eyes, he knew. There was suddenly arousal...high arousal. It surprised him as he felt a warmth spread through him, stiffening his cock, heating his balls. Not bothering to question the feeling this time, he moved his hand from Daniel's arm and placed a fingertip over Daniel's lips, then drew a line down his chin and over his throat, stopping at the adam's apple. Daniel swallowed again and Jack felt the rise and fall under his finger as it remained still against Daniel's skin...and the action was very erotic.
Daniel's eyes bored into Jack's and then flickered down to his throat, watching, in turn, as Jack swallowed...hard. He shivered at the touch of Jack's finger against his throat and his own body reacted. The rapid filling of his dick was almost rude in its suddenness and he didn't know where the feeling came from but he welcomed it. He wanted Jack to fuck him - there and then. His desire was raw, carnal, and he simply needed Jack to give him what he wanted. He wanted Jack to take this need from him. He wanted...he wanted Jack to possess him.
The strange thoughts made him suddenly turn out of embarrassment, his back to Jack yet again. The motion had to have been subconscious because he found himself in the position he wanted to be in. As Jack pressed in behind him - and against his ass - he felt even more of that hot lust rush through him, making his dick throb uncomfortably as it strained against his trousers. Jack's hands suddenly grabbed hold of his hips and pulled him back against him, holding him in place and the abrupt eroticism made his heart hammer. Jack's lips ghosted under his ear as his hands slid over his abdomen and downward to firmly cup his groin. Daniel let out a choked gasp of lust in response.
Jack felt his own intense ardour rising quickly as he moved his lips along the back of Daniel's neck. Was his lover's body language telling him what he thought he was telling him? God, he hoped so because his own need to...command...to possess...rose strong and deep within him. He rubbed both hands firmly over Daniel's covered erection and was greeted with Daniel's hands clamping down over his own. Jack let his lust, or his subconscious, or whatever the hell it was, take over. He undulated his hips against Daniel's ass, pressing his now-full erection against him as he rocked.
Daniel closed his eyes and gripped Jack's forearms as he thrust against his lover's caressing hands. "Jack."
"I'm yours...and you...are mine, Daniel," Jack growled in his ear as his teeth grazed over the skin. "Want me to show you?"
Daniel's eyes became half-lidded and unfocused as the overwhelming lust surged through him. "Yes," came the hungry reply.
Jack slowly let go and stepped back. "Don't move." Grabbing the small bottle of cooking oil, he set it down on the table where Daniel could see it, then opened his own jeans and dropped them along with his shorts. As he did, Daniel quickly opened his trousers, dropped them, then stepped out of them as he turned his head slightly to the side to catch Jack in his peripheral vision. Jack momentarily caught the flash of lust in his darkened eye, the flush of his skin, and pulled him back against him, rubbing his cock against Daniel's ass. He lay an arm over Daniel's chest, then he grabbed a tuft of crown hair and pulled Daniel's head back over his shoulder.
"Mine," he whispered and kissed him deeply, tasting him as if he'd never taste him again. Daniel moaned into his mouth as his hands reached up to grip Jack's hand in his hair and the arm over his chest. He pushed his ass back, trying to slide up and down against Jack's erection. Jack broke the kiss and smiled ferally as he picked up the bottle of oil and opened it, spilling the liquid over his hands. Daniel gasped as oiled fingers spread over his anus and fingers slid inside. The 'possession' had started. Jack had understood.
"Yes," he whispered as he leant forward. Jack's free hand caught his shoulder and prevented him from bending over as his fingers moved inside.
"Spread, Daniel," Jack whispered hoarsely.
Daniel closed his eyes and moved his feet further apart. Jack removed his fingers and began to slide his dick up and down between the cheeks of his ass, frequently rubbing the tight ring with the head of his cock.
"Yes," Daniel encouraged, then suddenly gasped loudly as Jack pushed inside smoothly, and in one go, he was balls-deep. The wildness of it heated Daniel's body up like a flare. "Yes," he gasped again.
Jack placed both hands, oiled and staining Daniel's shirt, on his shoulders and held him in place as he began to undulate his hips, rocking back and forth slowly, pushing deeper, grinding. Daniel's fingernails scraped against the wood of the table and he somehow made a conscious effort not to scratch too deeply. His thoughts about that were abruptly interrupted as Jack pulled out nearly all the way, almost pulling Daniel's breath with him, then slammed back in. That did take the air from Daniel's lungs.
"Yes," he panted breathlessly as Jack moved.
Jack felt the bloodlust climbing and began to piston, sending charges of pleasure through his body at every stroke, getting off on the sounds Daniel made, and the way his tension-filled body felt, at the tightness of his ass...an ass that was his. His.
"Mine."
Jack thrust hard.
"Yes."
"You like this." Jack's dick grazed ruthlessly over Daniel's prostate, gaining him a much louder, "Yes!" from Daniel's throat so he thrust even harder, faster.
"You like it!" Jack growled louder.
"Yes," Daniel cried out now.
"You...are...mine...Daniel," Jack told him as he fucked him in a quick, hard rhythm.
"Yes," Daniel replied, moving one hand to his dick and swiftly matched Jack's rhythm. "Harder," he panted.
"Yes," Jack replied with a growl and pumped his hips in a short, sharp, jabbing rhythm as he rammed into Daniel's body.
Daniel loved it. He had no idea how primal and feral he could feel. He squeezed his cock as Jack thrust harder and then suddenly cried out, the noise muffled through his nose as he bit his lips closed, coming hard over his hand as his fist squeezed the head of his cock.
The tightening of his muscles surrounding Jack's cock did him in and he threw his head back and came hard through a choked cry. Jerking his rigid body, he waited out the amazing orgasmic shudders as they took control of him.
After a minute, with the bloodlust waning rapidly, he pulled Daniel up against him, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hold as his cock softened inside him.
"Where the hell did that come from?" Daniel panted as he dropped his head back on Jack's shoulder. He turned his head and kissed Jack's sweat-damp neck.
"You're asking me?" Jack replied almost silently. "You liked?"
"I came hard, Jack," was Daniel's reply.
"So did I."
Daniel didn't want to ask, but he did anyway. "Want to talk?"
"No."
"Me neither."
Relieved that neither was in the mood for any more 'soul-searching' or revelations about mild kinks and rough sex, Jack withdrew from Daniel to clean up. Before he could move away, however, Daniel turned round and pulled him into a fervent kiss. Eagerly returning the kiss, Jack deepened it as he rubbed his hands over Daniel's back.
Breaking the kiss, Daniel whispered, "Thanks."
"You too," Jack answered.
They stripped off their clothes and cleaned up, not talking, both of them pleased with the easy silence. After changing into clean clothes, and Daniel into ones Jack always kept for him, Jack slapped him on the ass, grinning as Daniel winced and smacked him back.
"You ready for some dinner?"
Daniel snorted and refrained from making the obvious 'dessert' comment. "Yeah, I'm starved, actually."
"Good. Me too."
"Anything good on TV?" Daniel asked as he switched it on.
Jack shrugged as he checked the potatoes in the oven. "I don't know. There's no game on I'm interested in watching. Just don't put it on some boring program, okay?"
Daniel grinned mischievously as he refilled his glass. "I'll try."
As Jack cooked the steaks, they spoke, but of nothing really. The tension that had been within had been lifted by words and a good, hard fuck. They both realized that this was their first time at having make-up sex and it was fantastic. They also realized, judging from their own past experiences, that the next time - and there would likely be one - might not be so easy to get over.
Neither were wrong.