...that old black magic had me under its spell...
....."Hey, Daniel, it's me....Daniel, come on, I know you're there. Pick up..."
Daniel wasn't answering his home phone or his cell phone. It had been a week since Hathor and Jack was hoping they'd run into her so he could kill the bitch for what she'd done to him...but more so for what she'd done to Daniel.
Jack knew from personal experience what rape was like. He knew Daniel would need help, but not the kind of help the Air Force had offered. For some reason Jack could only guess at, Daniel had shown a great aversion to therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists...anyone who could have helped. Jack didn't really blame him. Those that had tried to help him with his own trauma, hadn't, so he could see Daniel's point.
Then there was the issue of Hathor being female, even if her symbiote creature enabled her to have the strength of ten men, it hadn't helped that she was, for all intents and purposes, a woman. One beguiling woman, who used a mind-control chemical on all of them. That was the only mitigating factor that Jack figured had kept Daniel from being worse. But as the days had passed, the chemical lost a lot of its effectiveness and everyone began to remember.
Jack could only guess at what Daniel's rape would have been like. A man-on-man rape was one thing, but this was different. Jack couldn't even visualize what Daniel had gone through. However, it didn't really matter. Rape was rape. Those feelings of anger and shame needed to be gone after...and exposed, acted out. It was what had helped him after Iraq. What Jack needed to do was get Daniel to speak to him, to let that anger and shame out and deal with it face to face. The problem was...Daniel, usually quite talkative, wouldn't talk about squat.
No one had seemed to notice, either. Well, except Daniel's teammates, and then only Jack had figured out that Daniel was only half-there, going through the motions. Sam and Teal'c left had him alone when he had wanted to be alone, and so Jack had left him alone, too, thinking that he needed the private time. Until he'd figured it out not so many hours earlier that Daniel was retreating...just as he himself had done. Jack didn't know how he could have forgotten that, but now that he'd remembered...remembered all the psychological bullshit the mind went through in order to deal...well, Jack needed to get Daniel to deal and not retreat.
So far, he'd been trying to get Daniel to talk to him, but he wasn't answering the phone. Jack had to go see him and get all of this out, one way or the other. He actually had his own trauma to deal with about Hathor and knew that maybe by helping Daniel, he'd help himself. The plan he had in mind wasn't pretty and it wasn't nice. But it would likely be effective. It was also a plan used before...on him, by a friend, Gavin, an SAS man; the only friend Jack had had at the time. He couldn't talk to Sara; and his son had been 3 years old. The fact that Charlie had remembered him was the only thing that had held Jack's sanity together. During his captivity, his nightmares had always been the same; if they didn't repeat the torture sequences, they were filled with Charlie not knowing who he was and running away, screaming in terror.
Those nightmares disappeared when Jack had come home...and Charlie had seen him walk through the door, and screamed out, "Daddy," and ran like a bat out of hell toward him. The emotion of the scene had damn near caused Jack to blubber like a baby. But he hadn't. He'd wrapped his arms around Charlie and had never let him go...well, figuratively speaking. Unfortunately for Sara, she couldn't help. Gavin and Charlie had become Jack's lifelines and if they hadn't been there for him, he would have dropped into madness. Having to get over an addiction to opium was one thing, but the emotional damage of torture and rape...It was one of the reasons why Charlie's death had hit him so hard.
And who...of all the goddamn people in the world...should be there to help him out of that despair? A mild archaeologist named Daniel Jackson. Mild. Ha. That's what Jack had thought when they met, and it seemed to set itself in stone after reaching Abydos...because Daniel hardly ever raised his voice and had seemed like he was going to let Kowalsky pummel him for not getting them home. But Jack had seen something in Daniel and that something was a lack of fear. He seemed more confused and angry why Kowalsky wanted to beat the crap out him. That was what made Jack begin to like him, so he'd stepped in, become his friend...albeit reluctantly because he too was pissed at Daniel. But in the end, Daniel's foresight, insight, whatever it was that worked that brain of his...had gotten them home.
Now, Daniel was suffering something similar. He'd lost his wife, and because Thor's Hammer was now broken, Jack considered Shau're a lost cause. She may as well be dead. So besides Shau're's loss, there was now the rape to add insult to injury; a rape done by a member of the species who'd taken his wife.
No, Jack told himself, Daniel wasn't okay and his plan had to be carried out, even if Daniel hated him for a while.
Daniel had been sitting in the kitchen, on the floor, when Jack had called for the third time. Nursing his second glass of wine, he knew Jack would be calling again, and probably in person. The man was like a bulldog: once he got hold of something, he never let it go, and it applied to 'ideas' as well as anything else. Sure enough, ten minutes later, there was a knocking on his door. Sighing, Daniel got up to answer it.
Jack started to rap again, fully expecting to keep rapping endlessly until Daniel opened the door, but Daniel opened the door sooner than he expected...and stared blankly at him.
"Jack."
"Daniel," Jack replied. He stared back at his...well, best friend he could honestly say now...and noted the glass of wine, the unkempt hair, the lack of glasses, the disheveled, rumpled t-shirt and gym shorts, the bare feet, and he knew then that his plan was needed and needed badly. "Can I come in?"
"I need to be alone for a while," Daniel said flatly, his eyes looking dull and lifeless. Jack had never seen that look and he hated it.
"Well, too bad, Daniel, 'cause I'm not going away. I'm going to stand here until you let me in."
Daniel frowned, his irritation beginning to rise. "Even if I shut the door?"
Jack nodded. "Even if you shut the door."
Daniel sighed and walked away from the open door, heading back for the kitchen. "Fine. Come in. You'll get nothing from me, though, so play your games elsewhere."
After shutting the door, Jack paused as he watched Daniel's retreating back, listening to his words. He realized that Daniel knew something was up. His intelligence and gift of intuition never stopped amazing Jack and though other people had these abilities, they didn't have them as acutely as Daniel did. Jack shook those thoughts off. Intuition or not, Daniel was getting his friend in his face whether he liked it or not.
Jack set the large sack he'd brought with him down on the sofa, then walked into the kitchen, frowning as he saw Daniel sitting down on the floor. He expected something like this and it was now time to start implementing his plan.
Instead of asking what he was doing on the floor, he asked, "Got any beer?"
Daniel didn't look at him. He snorted and motioned at the fridge. "Help yourself."
Opening the bottle and taking a long drink, Jack had a feeling the beer would end up getting warm before he had a chance to empty it. Therefore, he stood at the sink and finished it, all the while watching Daniel stare at nothing and occasionally take long, slow drinks from his wine glass.
Once finished, Jack left the bottle in the sink, looked down at Daniel, then held out his hand.
"Come on, Daniel. Up off the floor."
"Go bother someone else, Jack. I'm not in the mood."
"Too bad. I've decided to pick on you. You're the victim." Jack had chosen his words on purpose.
The words had the proper effect as Daniel looked up at him, scowling, and got quickly to his feet. "Excuse me?"
"My victim, you know," Jack said, keeping his expression unemotional. Daniel's scowl increased.
"It's not going to work."
Jack snorted and took Daniel's wine glass from him and set it in the sink. Daniel stared at him, incredulous.
"Excuse me but I was drinking that."
"It was nearly empty. Besides, it would only end up getting broken. Come on," and he grabbed Daniel by the bicep and pulled him, still incredulous, through the dining room and down the steps into the living room. He stood there, speechless for the moment as he watched Jack push the coffee table out of the way and up-end the sack he'd brought with him, dumping the contents onto the sofa cushions. Two pairs of red boxing gloves. That was it.
"You want to box? Here?"
"No, you need to do this and though the gym is better for boxing, it isn't better for this kind of boxing." He removed his jeans and button-down shirt, leaving only his t-shirt and regular boxer shorts on. Daniel stared, astonished at him, wondering was the hell he was doing. Jack grabbed a pair of the gloves and began to put them on Daniel's hands. Amazed and shocked that Jack would even think of this, Daniel stood there and let Jack tie them on. When it came to Jack's turn, he had to leave one mostly untied.
Jack turned and finally faced him. "Now, hit me."
The lines between Daniel's brows deepened and he resisted. "No."
"Hit me," Jack said, tapping Daniel on the jaw with his glove. Daniel's bangs fell further into his eyes at the slight jarring of his head.
"No."
"Hit me," Jack prompted, his voice getting louder as he gave Daniel a punch in the shoulder.
Daniel was mad now and resenting Jack for making him mad. What fucking right did he have to push him into letting out emotions he didn't want to deal with right now? He'd deal when he was good and ready...dammit. Jack had no right to do this.
Daniel suddenly found himself knocked off balance and falling backward against his second sofa. He pushed himself up, his anger peaking.
"I'm gonna get you to let go, one way or the other," Jack said, his eyes kind. Then Daniel saw them harden, become like steel, as Jack leaned forward. "Get you to let go...and admit you were raped."
Daniel gasped out a sound that what half-shock, half-anger. "What the fuck did you say?"
"You were raped."
"Shut up," Daniel said through gritted teeth.
Jack, still leaning over Daniel, purposely crowding his space, tapped his glove on his chest in an offensive manner. "You were raped, Daniel. You have to face it and let the anger and shame out."
Daniel violently shoved Jack away and viciously tried to tear off his gloves...but he couldn't. Jack had tied them in knots. He sat there on the sofa, fuming. His ice cold eyes bored into Jack.
"Since when are you an authority on healing trauma? Or...r...rape for that matter? You can't help me. Only time will. Now, get these fucking gloves off me!"
"Get up and hit me, Daniel," Jack said calmly. So calm in fact that it pissed Daniel off even more.
"Fine," Daniel said, pushing himself to his feet and throwing a punch. Jack ducked, Daniel missed, and Daniel scowled.
"What?" Jack snorted. "You expect me to stand here and let you--"
Jack hadn't seen Daniel's quick recovery coming as he found himself on his ass with a slightly sore jaw. He also knew damn well that Daniel had pulled his punch.
"Well, that's better," he said getting up.
"Good, now take these off."
"Hit me again, Daniel."
"Would you fucking get off that--"
Daniel suddenly found himself on the floor that time and he quickly rebounded in fury and hit back. They went on, trading blows that bruised but didn't bleed, trading every invective they could think of, cursing the creature that brought this on, cursing every hurt she'd inflicted, vowing to each other as they expelled their anger that they'd never rest until she was brought down. After twenty minutes, they were exhausted. Daniel was a lot more so as his emotions were now on the surface and nearly-silent tears of frustration, anger, and shame flowed out of him. The blows continued and every time new tears emerged, Daniel hit Jack harder than he had before, and Jack hadn't taken the hits lightly. He protected himself with a slight turn or a raised arm, then punched back with equal force, not wanting to do it, but knowing Daniel needed it; needed to be goaded into hitting...and letting go.
Finally, sitting on the floor with his back to the couch, Daniel's tears rolled even more freely as he stopped fighting. Jack stood there and watched him draw his knees up and drop his head onto his crossed arms. He quickly removed his gloves and sat down next to Daniel, untied and pulled the gloves off, then pulled Daniel into his arms. Silent tears from his own trauma washed down his face, but they mixed with tears of empathy for Daniel. One day, he'd tell his best friend what had happened to him in Iraq, but not now. Daniel needed to let go of the bottled up emotion, and to know that he could share it with him at any time. Jack knew Daniel wasn't ready to talk about it yet, but he did need to talk. When Daniel was ready, Jack would make sure he was, too. It would only be fair. For now, crying and fighting, releasing the anger, was enough.
Feeling his neck wet as Daniel pulled away, he smiled at him. Daniel's eyes were no longer cold orbs of blue ice. They were warm, wet, red-rimmed, along with Daniel's face. His lips red and slightly puffy with crying reminded Jack that they kind of looked like that after he'd been kissed thoroughly. He wondered at the connection when Daniel's voice broke his thoughts.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"You know something about this, don't you?"
Jack smiled at him. "A bit, yes."
"Wanna talk about it?" Daniel asked, not really ready for it but wanting to be there for Jack as Jack was for him.
"Are you ready to talk about what Hathor did?" Jack asked softly.
Daniel grimaced and shook his head.
"It's okay, Daniel, because when you are, I'll tell you what happened with me, okay?"
Relieved, Daniel nodded. "Thanks."
"You're welcome."
The repetition of their words made them laugh weakly for the first time in days. Jack got up and pulled Daniel with him. "Come on. I have another idea."
Daniel rolled his eyes, making Jack smile, knowing Daniel was almost back to being himself. Almost. "What?" he asked tiredly.
"I stink. You stink. We need a shower."
Daniel raised an arm and smelled his armpit, then grimaced. "Yeah, I guess so."
He walked into the bathroom, threw off his clothes and turned on the shower. As he started to get inside, he paused. For reasons he didn't know, his hand started to shake a little bit as he held onto the shower curtain. He snatched it away, looking at it, holding it out to test its steadiness. His hand was now steady. Frowning, he stepped inside, placed his hand against the wall and was startled as his hand began to shake again. He clenched and unclenched his fingers then held out his hand again to find it steady once more.
Sighing deeply, he leaned against the shower wall. He knew he wasn't going to get over this easily...and he knew he'd need Jack's help. He bit his lip as soon as he realized that he needed Jack for something else...something far more personal than that damn boxing match. He knew it might not be a good idea and that he might very well freeze up when Jack touched him more intimately but he had to take the chance. What had happened to him didn't seem to diminish the need building inside him, so he had to know, had to try. Holding his bruised jaw in his hand, he stepped out of the shower and opened the door. "Jack?" he called out.
"What?" Jack called back. Daniel waited a second, then left the door open as he stepped back into the shower. Jack appeared at the door, holding his breath for a split-second as he saw a flash of Daniel's ass just past the slightly open curtain. "What?" he asked again. Daniel pushed the curtain open, getting soap on it as he'd lathered up his hands.
"I'm..." and he looked away, then down at his hands. "I'm having a bit of trouble..." and looked back over at Jack.
Jack became a little concerned, and even slightly suspicious, as he walked in and shut the door. "What's wrong?"
Daniel cleared his throat and held out his soapy hand. At first, it was steady and the moment it started to shake, he formed a tight fist to stop it. "I'm having a case of the shakes it seems."
Jack dropped the toilet seat down and sat. "It's to be expected, Daniel. It's normal."
Daniel sighed. "I know. I understand that. But..." and he suddenly reached out and grabbed Jack by the wrist and pulled him up and half into the shower. Jack started to protest as he found his clothes getting soaked. When he saw the need reflected in Daniel's eyes, the protest died. He gently pulled his wrist from Daniel's grasp, then threw off his wet clothes and climbed into the shower.
Daniel immediately wrapped his arms around his shoulders and kissed him hungrily. It didn't take Jack long to match his ardour as they both began to rub in earnest against each other, sharing deep, passionate kisses, caressing wet skin. When Daniel found himself against the wall and Jack's hands firmly gripping his ass, he moaned loudly. He wanted so badly for Jack to fuck him, but knew that he couldn't; it wasn't appropriate. But giving each other pleasure in other ways was. He turned them around, pushing Jack against the wall, then grasped Jack's cock.
"Daniel..." Jack whispered as Daniel began sliding his tight fist up and down, rubbing the glans, bringing his other hand down to grab and massage his balls. Jack pulled Daniel's mouth to his, kissing him hard, groaning into his throat as he spread his legs and let Daniel do what he wanted. Daniel broke their kiss and traced kisses over Jack's skin, bending to find his nipples to suckle and nip. Jack hissed as Daniel's tongue found his navel, trailing downward toward his cock. Not stopping his hand's attentions, he suckled at the glans as the finger of his other hand slid past his perineum to stroke the tight ring between his cheeks. Jack's muscles flexed and he moaned at the stimulation. He too wanted Daniel to fuck him and he too knew that the time wasn't right. But he did want more from Daniel's hand and his moaning and body language let Daniel know.
Daniel stopped what he was doing and reached over to grab the lubrication he'd been keeping in his shower, specifically for masturbating. Lubing his fingers, he caught Jack's eyes and held them as he stimulated the ring again, his other hand resuming the stroking of his cock. As Jack closed his eyes, Daniel smiled and slowly pushed two fingers inside him, enjoying the panting gasps that Jack now made in response. He took Jack's glans into his mouth as his hand continued to move up and down, pulling and increasing the strength of his grip. As Daniel's fingers started to fuck him, Jack clasped his hair in his hands, his breath hitching, his body tightening.
"Daniel...faster."
Instead, Daniel sucked hard on the hot, mushroomed head of his cock and shoved his fingers deep, finding his gland. Jack's body shuddered as he shouted out his ecstasy so Daniel's fingers fucked him furiously as he took Jack's cock further into his mouth, his hand still working at the base.
"Daniel...I'm..." and Jack bit his lip, gasping quick breaths as he came explosively into Daniel's mouth. Daniel swallowed only part of his semen, letting the rest flow over his lips and down his chin to be washed away by the shower spray.
Finally slowing down his hand, Daniel removed his fingers gently, then kissed along the softened shaft. When Jack came down from his high, he pulled Daniel to his feet, finding him hard as nails, and took his dick in his hand to return the favor. But Daniel didn't want him doing the same thing and he crooked his arm about his neck, kissing him hard and feverishly as Jack moved his hand luxuriously up and down his shaft. After caressing his balls, working over his perineum, Jack suddenly pushed a wet, but unlubed, fingertip into Daniel's ass and moved it rapidly in and out, increasing the speed and strength of his strokes, Daniel cried out into his mouth and came hard, spurting almost endlessly against their stomachs.
After he finally softened and his body stopped its tremors, Jack wrapped his arms around him and held him against his body, letting the warm water bounce and flow over them. When they were both quite calm, Jack kissed the spot below his ear.
"Better?" he asked softly.
"Much."
"Wanna take a real shower now?"
Daniel smiled, let go of Jack, then once more gathered liquid soap in his hands and worked up a lather, then rubbed them lazily over Jack's chest.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
At the repeated words, they snorted with shared amusement as they washed each other clean.
Intervals 4