Special Note: I'd like to take a page from Anais' book on thanking everyone here, now, instead of Chapter by Chapter. Very humble, grateful, and unending thanks go to my betas:
Catspaw and Dangermouse. Without you, this thing wouldn't make any damn sense. You're the milk in my cornflakes, the soul of my writing (though saying that here may make you have a coronary 'cause now everyone will know who to blame besides me), and Dangermouse - you're possibly the most horrid bunny spinner on the face of the planet, distracting me all the time and never once taking the hint that you were driving me insane. I'd like to also add a special thanks to Wadjet and Danvers, without whom I wouldn't have found my backbone to write this. Seriously. Really. I'm not kidding. Okay, so maybe I'd still have written this, but I wouldn't have been secure about it.
Thanks be to the four of you for helping me out on this very tiring rollercoaster ride of a fic. Please send all bomb fragments, flame remnants, and leftover mold from your fridges to my email. I think my muse will run screaming, the willful sprite. Okay....that said and done, let's fire up the broomsticks and see what else we can do with our time. <huge mischieveous grin>
~ part one ~
~ dreams ~
///.....Daniel's hands were wrapped around the young airman's head as the airman's mouth swallowed his cock down his throat. Daniel watched him with fascination and lust, thrusting his hips as he fucked the airman's mouth. The young man had a tight hold of Daniel's ass, still mostly covered by his fatigue trousers. Watching only the airman's mouth and his moving cock, the airman seemed to morph, transform, into the faces of others - many others. One image kept returning; the mouth of Jack O'Neill. Daniel would get his chance. Sooner rather than later. The time for waiting was over.Daniel thrust faster, feeling his orgasm imminent as he focused not on the airman but on his fantasy images. Suddenly there was a knock on the frosted-glass window of the door and Daniel heard a voice bark out,
[["Excuse me? I need to pick up my order!"]]
"Fuck!" Daniel hissed as the airman was startled off his cock. Moments seemed to run faster then as the airman cleaned and straightened; biting his red and swollen lips as if to hide them when he swiftly opened the door and moved quickly behind the racks of clothes ready for pick-up. Daniel sighed angrily, stuffed himself painfully back into his pants and closed them up. He turned, finding Major Paul Davis standing there staring at him in shock.
"Daniel, what the fuck were you doing?"
Daniel glared at him, narrowing his eyes. "Well, duh, Paul. What the fuck did it look like?"
"At the SGC?" Paul hissed, disapproving. Daniel's glare intensified.
"Not here, Paul. You want to talk about it, you get your stuff and follow me home." He turned on his heel, leaving a dumbfounded, shocked, and very aroused Paul Davis in the laundry room.
Daniel found himself pacing in the foyer of his house, waiting. He was pissed off in the extreme. Paul was going to pay for that fuck up. They'd avoided having sex, but Daniel knew Paul was attracted to him, just as he fantasized about fucking Paul over the back ramp behind the stargate. His thoughts were interrupted just as Paul's rental car pulled into the driveway. Before the knock came on the door, Daniel opened it and yanked Paul by his tie and collar into the house. Slamming the door and then shoving Paul against it, Daniel pinned him with his hands...and his angry mouth, shoving his tongue down his throat. Paul moaned immediately, struggling to touch Daniel. Daniel released him just as quickly as he'd kissed him.
"What was it you asked me?" he asked quietly.
Paul, halting his struggles, glared back but only succeeded in letting Daniel know how badly he wanted him. "What the hell did you think you were doing? You could have gotten caught! Got that airmen dishonorably discharged! What were you thinking?"
"What was I thinking, Paul?" he asked, his voice getting lower between clenched teeth. "What was I thinking? I was thinking about getting off, and you interrupted. So, guess what, Paul? It's your fault and you are going to fix it."
"What?" Paul gasped, flushing.
The moments sped up once more as Daniel was shoving an arguing, and naked, Paul Davis, onto his bed, handcuffing him to the headboard.
"I know you want me to fuck you," he said stripping in front of him. "I'm going to. Just not yet," Daniel added in a husky, lustful tone, still tinged with a little anger.
Daniel looked at him, knowing damn well that despite Paul wanting to argue, he loved it when Daniel took over. Paul wouldn't refuse him; couldn't refuse him. Not one bit.
Without a word, Daniel took Paul's cock in his hand and began to jerk him off, moving his hand with expert, seductive skill. Suddenly the scenery changed, blended, and transported them to the gateroom at the SGC. Paul was now handcuffed to the metal ramp that rested behind the stargate, both wrists spread wide over his head. Daniel increased the movements on Paul's cock as he took in his surroundings. He grinned ferally at Paul and leaned down, grabbing him by his hair. Suddenly Paul's legs were around his waist and Daniel felt his dick pumping hard and fast into his ass. Within seconds, Paul came, calling out Daniel's name over and over in harsh gasps; hearing the stargate activate and start up, Daniel cried out, coming almost painfully hard......///
Daniel bolted upright in bed, gasping harshly, his body soaked with sweat. He struggled to calm his breathing.
Daniel had just had a very intense wet dream, the fourth one in two nights. They'd never woken him before, nor had they ever been so real. He ran a hand over his face, smelling the distinct odor of semen on his fingers. He looked down, then down at his dick, his abdomen.
"Shit," he whispered, his body trembling as he made his way too the bathroom. The after-shocks of sex always did that to him; made him tremble. Only problem was...he hadn't had sex, not for a very long time, and his masturbating never brought him orgasms like that.
As he cleaned up, he tried to examine the reason for the dreams but couldn't come up with a single reason....other than they were some psychological 'stress' reaction to his enforced celibacy. He'd had wet dreams before, as was normal for any sexually healthy man, but these weren't ordinary wet dreams. These dreams had the same...feel...of the teaching dream of two years ago; the one that Shifu had supposedly 'blessed' him with. It had been a metaphor to find a path back to his true self, and if that was a blessing, Daniel still hadn't received it yet. He was still trying to find that damned path.
Daniel paused, the washcloth slowing down over his dick. Was he supposed to find it through sex? His true self had never had problems with sex, he'd just never had any kind of casual sex, unlike the wicked dreams that were plaguing his sleep. Were these dreams telling him something then? Was he supposed to just channel his needs through casual sex?
Daniel sighed, shaking his head. Though there wasn't anything wrong with casual sex, he'd just never found it appealing to 'just' get off, except by his own hand, where he could disappear into fantasy. It wasn't as if he couldn't find a partner on base. God knows, he'd had enough offers fielded at him as to rival that of Michael Jordan. But...the thing was, he wouldn't. He simply didn't like the idea of just finding some stranger and getting off, even if some small part of him recognized the thrill of it. If 'getting off' was indeed the message, his subconscious was sending the wrong one. He didn't need to get off. He had better control than that. Always had. Always would. That was part of his true self, wasn't it? Being true to his nature?
Well, wasn't it?
Later that night....
///......Daniel was showering, peripherally watching the men move by his cubicle. He heard someone enter the cubicle next to him and he stared at the fuzzy image, trying to figure out who it was. The soldiers were milling around, joking, and he stayed in the shower until they'd finished and left...just as he always did. He shut off the water and went to his locker to dry off and change. He hoped there was no one else there but just as he thought that, he heard the sound of a locker opening. He moved around the lockers, clad only in a towel, and found his friend, Jason Coburn, drying off. Jason turned, smiled, said hello. Daniel stared at him, gave him a small smile, then dropped his towel. He was fully erect and throbbing. Jason stared back...and dropped his own towel.Staring at Jason's body, Daniel started to jerk off in front of him, and Jason suddenly dropped to his knees and grabbed his hips. His face hovered over his groin, his nose sniffed at Daniel's aroused scent. Jason's tongue stretched out and licked, sending a shudder though him. Then quick as a flash, Jason engulfed his cock, deep throating him, urging Daniel to fuck his mouth. Daniel grabbed his head, feeling a tremendous amount of heat flowing through his groin, his ass, and the inside of his thighs. "Jace, Jace, Jace," he chanted as his fingers tightened in Jason's hair. Jason was sucking him beautifully and just as Daniel felt himself about to come, his surroundings distorted and changed.
Suddenly Jason's team mates were surrounding them, urging him on. "Suck him, suck him," was the chant, quickly followed by, "fuck him, fuck him." Daniel clasped Jason's hair roughly and pumped his hips, getting cheers from the onlookers, which had increased in number. A few men had mysteriously joined in, and Daniel found himself mesmerized by the motion of a cock sliding in and out of another's mouth. The cheers seemed like muffled background noise as he felt his cock move within Jason's mouth while he watched others engage in their own oral sex.
Daniel was suddenly startled by the sound of Jack's voice in his ear, lips pressed seductively along the lobe. "Fuck him, Daniel. Then I want you to fuck me, then whomever else you want. I know you want it. Come now, Daniel. Come now!" and Jack was suddenly yelling, but he was now in Jason's place, and was jerking him off, not sucking him, and from the feral look in Jack's eyes, from the "Come now!" shouting from his lips, Daniel came hard......///
Daniel woke up in another sweat....semen spilled out over his stomach. Resigned, he didn't bother getting up. He simply went back into an exhausted sleep...which brought yet another dream just before dawn...the most distracting and troubling to him of all the dreams so far.
///......Daniel was reading something, standing before the bookshelf in his office. Jack sauntered in to bother him, as usual. This time, Daniel snapped his book shut and grabbed Jack about the neck, kissing him hard as he rapidly opened Jack's pants and stuck his hand down his shorts. Feeling Jack's cock was an amazing thrill and to feel Jack accept his touch was even better.A shimmer in the air around him: Daniel noticed but didn't pay much heed. Suddenly Jack grabbed him and pushed him against the bookshelf, lifting his legs around his waist. He felt Jack's cock pressing into his opening and he cried out in near-exultation as he suddenly remembered just how damned good it felt. His anal muscles seemed to throb, to convulse. Jack was incredible! He fucked him, made love to him, was alternately rough and gentle with him.
Just as suddenly as he'd found himself being fucked against the bookcase, he now found himself on the floor with Jack behind him, fucking him with animalistic abandon....and Daniel loved it. He loved it a lot. He turned to look over his shoulder and the image of Jack blurred and suddenly it wasn't him; or at least, his face blurred and Daniel couldn't see him, who it was who was thrusting into him. Daniel's anal muscles throbbed and contracted as the thrusts changed, rotating the cock inside him, screwing him. They suddenly changed again to raw, hard pounding; different from Jack's wild thrusts. It felt glorious, especially when the pounding sped up, sending shockwaves of forgotten pleasure through him.
Looking down at the concrete floor, the scene changed underneath his hands and he was suddenly at home, on his bed. He felt the body behind him, inside him, and he didn't know who it was, and he didn't care. It felt good. The body pounded into him for what seemed like forever, and suddenly Daniel was jerking himself off as the unknown man fucked him impossibly harder, faster......///
Daniel woke up with a start, on his stomach, sweat dripping from his body, the feeling of his sphincter muscles contracting making his body shudder with want. Moaning with frustrated need, he blindly sought out the lube he'd bought the day before. Coating both his hands, he grabbed his cock and reached around to shove a single finger into his ass. He moaned at the forgotten feeling of being stroked inside his ass, even by his own finger. He shoved two fingers inside him now and the intense pleasure took over, making him give in. He stroked his cock furiously as he savagely fucked himself with his fingers, crying out as the pleasure engulfed his senses and brought him a powerful orgasm.
Lying there, panting, trembling, waiting as his body calmed down, Daniel removed his fingers, hitching his breath as the last vestiges of his orgasm spasmed through his anal muscles. The images from this last dream came back to him...in almost analytical form. The dream had definitely been talking to him that time; telling him that he could still feel something, even from a stranger; something that fulfilled a need deep inside him.
Daniel didn't like it, either. He'd almost managed to forget what it felt like to have something - fingers or a dick or a tongue - inside him. Those damned dreams had put a stop to that, making him eventually give in. One thing was for sure. He was still not going to go out and fuck some stranger, or let some stranger fuck him. No way. He knew what the dream was trying to tell him; he heard...he listened. But he refused to follow the advice.
For the next two weeks, Daniel went through a combination of pleasure and pain, heaven and hell. The dream images wouldn't leave him alone. He sat in his office, desperately trying to maintain his focus on the latest translation.
The 'stranger' motif in his erotic dreams had increased to the point of exhibitionism and voyeurism. Daniel had no idea where these dreams were coming from and they weren't subjects he'd consciously thought about, especially since he'd abandoned sex altogether.
The loss of his wife, Shau're, had started his decision to be celibate and at first, it worked. But as time wore on, and as his friendships formed and grew, he'd found himself caring. When you cared, you allowed yourself to relax. When you relaxed, you let other feelings in. He'd forgotten about that and he'd had to work hard to distract himself from his sexual wants and needs. And it worked well, for a while.
But Daniel never had found himself around the military and soon found it necessary to protect himself. He was civilian, a pacifist, and a 'geek', which to them meant he was gay, despite having a wife. He had his natural desires and found that he'd have to cover them up, bury them, and possibly pretend they didn't exist.
In order to do this, he thought it might be better to dislike or fear those around him. That was hard to do because he didn't actively hate anyone, except for the Goa'uld. So, in order to dislike the folks around him, he had to make them hate him or act in ways that he actively despised. As a result, he'd purposely acted even more the geek than was usual for him, putting on the persona of a wuss. It certainly went at odds with his very passionate side, a passionate side that got him into so much trouble throughout his life. The contradiction was never questioned and his camouflage had worked; they'd reacted by being rude to him or actively despising him, as he knew they would. It made it so much easier to dislike, and therefore not be sexually attracted to, the men on base.
Problem was...he'd formed the unlikeliest of deep friendships with three career military men and one of them was Jack O'Neill. Jack had noticed Daniel's contradictory behavior and had called him on it after they'd saved the world that first time, asking him how in the hell he could be a dove and a hawk at the same time. Daniel had come to respect Jack greatly and given that he couldn't stand lying to him anymore, he'd risked it all and told Jack about his sexual preference. Jack had then revealed his own gay preferences. This made it harder for Daniel because he was already attracted to him, but what helped, ironically, was the military command structure, and Daniel didn't want his friend getting into trouble for showing favoritism toward a subordinate so he'd tried to keep his feelings shut off. What made it harder to do was time spent going out into the field with the man, showering with him, and sometimes dying with him. Keeping his feelings down was hard when the stress just kept serving it back to him.
But he'd worked at it. Then came his friendships with two more gay career officers. Major Jason Coburn, leader of SG-2; and Major Paul Davis, the SGC's pentagon liaison. Daniel had had to retrain himself to work harder at pushing away his desires for them and it certainly wasn't easy. But, it explained a little bit about why they were involved so much in his recent erotic dreams.
What with his pretending self, his friendship self, and his professional self, Daniel wondered just what his male friends would think if he ever let his true self out into the open. His true self. He'd been thinking about that a lot lately. Was this part of the message of the dreams? Was that it? To stop pretending and just let his passions show?
But....he couldn't. To do that would....be bad. He'd feel...and in feeling more...he'd...love. He couldn't allow himself to do that.
He suddenly became angry with himself for losing his ability to control his feelings because of the dreams - where he'd let them disturb his carefully focused mind. He became even angrier with the military for being so fucking homophobic that it had forced him to put a lid on his desires in the first place.
If he hadn't found the idea of casual sex so....well, pointless....he might have done something about it elsewhere. But, even if he had decided to forget his celibacy and risk a relationship with someone, there would have been a chance that he'd have been seen by some homophobe from the SGC and he couldn't take that sort of risk. The risk to himself would not have been that bad. He really didn't care about that. Chances were that anyone that attacked him would go down with him. No, what he didn't want to risk was the scandal attaching itself to the SGC, to Hammond, to Jack and his team mates. Public opinion of them was important to him. That meant that he couldn't take the risk. He couldn't go offbase...and he couldn't risk it inside. Catch-22. Checkmate.
No...the real catch-22 was that his best friends were gay. Career military...and gay. They'd had to curb their own desires, too, and if they could manage to do that, so could he. The awful truth was, even if they were sexually active, he couldn't be with them because that would mean he had to feel and he really couldn't risk that either.
So....what good did the dreams do in letting him feel again if he couldn't act on it for both personal and professional reasons? What? Answer: None whatso-goddamn-ever. He certainly wasn't able to focus like he had been and he wasn't doing his job as a result. He needed to do something to fix this problem somehow. Jerking off obviously wasn't working so....what did he need to get the edge off of this...distraction? No, that wasn't the right word. Need? Well, that was as good a word as any. What he needed was to get himself some help. Solitary help.
Daniel focused on what he could for the remainder of the day, which thankfully wasn't that long, and went home to do some homework.
Daniel sat online for over two hours when he got home. It hadn't occurred to him that there would be so many shops out there that sold sex toys that catered to gays. He wanted to find the closest sex shop to the 'Springs and he found one just outside of Denver. It was too late now to drive down so he'd do it the next day. Fortunately, the 'next day' was Friday.
Daniel had been able to focus on his work for most of the day, now that he had a plan to take the edge off his reactions to the dreams. It was, at last, near the end of the day and he looked at his watch, nervously counting the minutes by. He had 30 minutes left to go. He suddenly realized Jack was leaning against his open door, his arms folded, smirking at him.
"Hey, Jack."
"Gotta date, Daniel?" he asked, still smirking.
Daniel frowned at him, worried. "Nooo," he drawled. "Jack....what made you ask that?"
"I've been standing here for five minutes and you've looked at your watch three times."
Absurdly, Daniel felt both relieved and disappointed that he hadn't given anything away. "I, uh, just have stuff to do, that's all."
"Uh huh," Jack replied a little doubtfully. Daniel chose to ignore that. If Jack was on a fishing expedition (which he usually was when he was bored), he could bloody well go pick on Sam.
Jack watched Daniel carefully. He knew something had been eating at Daniel for weeks and he was damned if he could figure out what it was...exactly. He had ideas but they were unsubstantiated. But then, this was Daniel. Who the hell could figure him out? But then again, if anyone could, he could. Jack walked in and sat on the edge of Daniel's desk, making it so he could look right into Daniel's face, even if he turned away. Right now, Daniel was acting as if he were focusing on the digital images on the computer screen when Jack knew Daniel hadn't the slightest interest in them. Jack continued to study him and realized that Daniel wasn't just distracted. He was on edge.
Jack's manner was also getting on Daniel's nerves. "Jack, stop staring."
"Wanna talk about it?" Jack asked quietly.
Daniel jerked his head up in alarm. "Talk about what?"
That gave it away for Jack. Something was wrong. "Whatever's bothering you."
"Nothing's bothering me, I'm--"
"Fine, yes, you always say that, Daniel, even when you're not fine." He reached out and touched Daniel on the shoulder and Daniel tensed up.
He didn't know what was worse. Jack being the bastard he could be or Jack being the friend he cared so much for....the friend he sometimes fantasized about....the one to whom he'd like to....do what he'd done in the dreams; and more. Daniel closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. If Jack would just get his hand off of him, he wouldn't risk giving anything away; he needed to get out of there before Jack asked any more questions. Jack also had a nasty habit of guessing - correctly - what was wrong and Daniel didn't need him to do that right now. Definitely not right now. And he really should remove his hand.
Jack bent toward him, and squeezed his shoulder. "Danny, something's wrong. You're strung tighter than the proverbial harp string. What's the matter?"
Daniel wanted him to remove his hand so badly...but if he asked, that would only invite more questions. Since Jack wouldn't remove his hand, Daniel rolled his chair away and got up, moving away from Jack by escaping around the other side of his desk. Daniel hoped his movements hadn't looked like he was trying to run from Jack, even though he was. Jack's touch was comforting most of the time. Right now, he was nowhere near comforting.
Jack watched him carefully; watched his body language. From Daniel's stance, and knowing him a little more than Daniel thought he did, it suddenly occurred to him what might be wrong. Depending upon how Daniel acted when he said his next words, Jack would know for certain.
"Danny....I think I know what's wrong."
Daniel turned round quickly, giving Jack a deeper frown. "I haven't said anything." He winced, realizing that he hadn't denied something was wrong.
Jack got up, closed the door, then walked over to Daniel, who surprised him by holding up his hand and taking a few steps back.
"Jack, nothing's wrong. I'm just tired, that's all. I've also had too much coffee today."
"Maybe so, but they're not the problem."
Daniel became irritated now. "Oh really? Well, Mister Know-It-All, what is my problem?"
Jack refrained from folding his arms and giving back the usual barb. Instead, he stuck his hands in his pockets and gave Daniel a gentle smile, trying to soften what he'd say so it didn't sound teasing or patronizing.
"You need to get laid."
Daniel swallowed and it went down the wrong pipe. He started to cough and Jack slapped him on the back to help. Daniel pushed his arm away, but Jack caught him by it, holding onto his bicep.
"Daniel, as much as you like to pretend that you don't have the same needs as other men, you still have them."
Daniel froze, staring at him. How the hell does he know that? Trying to deflect, he said,
"I don't pretend anything, and why are you talking about my...sex life?" Or lack thereof, is what he wanted to add, but bit his lip to keep himself from saying it.
"Um, because I'm right. You need to get laid." Jack's eyes were warm, and very sincere. Daniel knew the man cared, and knew he was trying to help. Jack was also too goddamn intelligent when it came to reading people. Daniel also knew it was useless to refute what he'd said. He was simply too emotionally tired to deal with it. On any other day, Daniel would just dish it right back at him. But not now.
"Jack, please. I really appreciate you trying to help, but I'll be fine."
Jack knew he was being dismissed but he also needed to let Daniel know he could help. "I could...um, help...if you want?"
Daniel's eyes got as wide as saucers. "What?" Jack didn't mean what he thought he meant...did he? Noooo...Daniel heard that wrong.
Jack also knew that Daniel had just misinterpreted what he'd meant, though he didn't bother to correct himself...exactly. "I'm just saying that I could help you find some...relief. I know a...place."
Despite his own experience, and that he was nowhere near naïve, Daniel flushed with embarrassment. "Jack, that's um..." but he couldn't finish and just shook his head instead, giving him an appreciative glance, then Daniel looked away to find something interesting on his lab table. Jack walked up behind him and laid his hands on Daniel's arms.
"The offer's always open if you change your mind."
Daniel swallowed up his courage and said, "Thanks, Jack, but I don't need a whorehouse."
Jack's hands increased their hold on his arms. "I didn't mean that. This is different."
Daniel cleared his throat, trying to dismiss the effect of Jack's hands on his arms, but it was too late. Jack's 'kind' touch did to him what had been doing a lot lately. It made him hard as nails in seconds. He was also not moving from his lab desk anytime soon. He cleared his throat again.
"Thanks, Jack. I'll keep that in mind. Now, if you don't mind..."
Jack smiled and patted his arms. "Okay. Give me a call if you change your mind," and he paused as Daniel nodded mutely, not looking at him. "I'm leaving a little early right now, so I'll see you, okay?"
"Okay, Jack. Um, Thanks. I'll see you."
"See ya later, Danny." Jack gave him a curiously long look, then left.
Daniel relaxed a little bit after he left but it took a little longer for his damn erection to go down.
Daniel had travelled to the bookshop and found what he was looking for. A fairly life-sized, life-like dildo; or phallus as he preferred to call it. It didn't look like a 'dildo'.
He sat on his bed, towel around his waist, his hair damp, holding the phallus in his hand, touching it. He couldn't get over how very life-like it was, including its weight. He thought about how he would do this and after the usual prep he knew he'd need, he didn't want to just lay down and fuck himself with it. But that, essentially, was exactly what he planned on doing.
As with all his previous experience, he was a little nervous the 'first' time, so he needed, well, foreplay. He continued to touch it, then he stroked it. When he did, he felt a curious sensation. A little embarrassment and a lot of arousal. He wanted to taste it, to suck on it. The phallus was exactly the same size as his own, and he figured himself for average. He snuck out his tongue and tasted it. It wasn't warm. He needed to warm it up. Remembering the instructions from the clerk, he heated up the water in the bathroom sink, letting it run until it got hot, then laid the phallus in the water for five minutes.
While he waited, Daniel remembered the small white book the bookstore clerk had given him to go with his phallus. Daniel - being Daniel - set about reading, learning the care and usage of his new toy. When the five minutes were up, he dried off his toy and got himself comfortable on his bed. Stroking his dick slowly, he tasted the phallus again. It was definitely warm this time. Aroused and curious, he put the head of it in his mouth. The act aroused him even more and he began to work it, as if he were really going down on someone. He paused for a moment and grabbed the lube, applying a lot of it to his fingers, he reached back and rubbed it into his anal muscle, then slowly inserted a finger. With his mouth around the head of the phallus and a finger inside him, he imagined two men working him...stretching him, preparing him. Another finger added and he began to squirm with need.
He stopped after a few more minutes and removed his fingers. He now wanted it inside him. His urge, his need, was building again. Picking up the book to set it aside, he spied a bookmark between the pages and remembered the bookstore clerk saying something about a special section that Daniel would like. He opened the book to the marked page and read, finding the small diagrams oddly amusing. It didn't look like it would work, but he needed to try it.
Sitting back a little from the edge of the bed, he then laid down and bent his knees. Grabbing the lube, he spread it over the phallus, stroking it, covering it. Reaching between his legs, he placed more lube at his rectum, circling the ring with the tips of his fingers to stimulate himself. Thinking he was ready, he rolled onto his side, and while he stroked his cock with one hand, he rubbed the head of the phallus against his anus. The feeling was amazing. It felt like a real dick, but it felt 'big'. He admonished himself; he knew what to expect. He began to move his hips a little as he jerked his cock, then positioned the phallus and pushed the head of it inside him.
He didn't realize just how tight he would be and he slowed and waited, alarmed at the burning sensation. He had to breathe and force himself to relax his muscles as he slowly pushed again while bearing down. He felt a little pop as the phallus entered inside him more smoothly and remembering how he used to move with a lover, he held the phallus still and simply moved his hips instead while he stroked his cock.
He felt his body heating up, his balls tightening little by little. The burning sensation went away and he pushed the phallus in completely, stopped by the testes sac attached at the base. He continued to move his hips and stroke himself, waiting for his muscles to adjust. He hadn't remembered how full a feeling this was and wondered how he could have forgotten anything.
Remembering about the position in the book, Daniel carefully sat up and moved to the end of the bed, placing his legs over the side, then gingerly and very slowly sat down upon the phallus inside him. This position felt much different. He felt full, but it didn't hurt as much as he thought it might - without a man attached to it. He began to grind slowly...always slowly, moving his hips in very small circles, and occasional thrusts. Stroking his cock in the same rhythm, he sped up just a little and began to lose himself in one of the dreams he'd had a few days before.
Jack had been lying nude, on the conference table, spread-eagled and tied down. Daniel was riding his dick, changing back and forth between slow and fast movements while he jerked himself off and fondled his balls....
Daniel's hips moved in greater circles, gyrating, causing the phallus to move in and out of his ass in very short strokes. He felt himself nearing his orgasm and he thrust his hips forward in response. The movement caused a rubbing deep inside him and for the first time in ten years, Daniel had his sweet spot rubbed.
"OH MY GOD!" He cried out in surprise, his body vibrating. It overwhelmed him. This sweet, almost painful liquid fire that moved him...God, there was nothing like it in the world. His nerves were exposed, oversensitive, and wave after wave hit him as he gently rocked against his sweet spot. "Oh Jesus!" and he dropped his head back. "Oh Goddamn," he panted, rocking faster. He softly squeezed his balls as his other hand sped up; the three-way stimulation drove him to the edge.
In his mind, he was riding Jack as if he were a prize bull as Jack thrust his hips up to meet him. Again and again, Daniel rubbed and his hand tightened over the head of his dick, pulling hard. Suddenly he felt it, crawling up his balls and he cried out and came explosively over his hand while his anal muscles convulsed around the phallus. The orgasm seemed to take forever, sending long shudders through him. He fell back, onto his side, his body jerking, spasming. The pleasure was unbelievable. He lay still for a while, letting his body ride out the incredible euphoric feeling.
Drifting, letting his body calm, he realized that he felt better, more relaxed and the high strung feeling he'd had was gone.
For a little while.
Down in Denver, in a very expensive, private men's club, also known as a Gentlemen's Club, three men sat playing cards inside one of the expensive suites. The men knew each other well....and they just so happened to know Daniel Jackson very well.
"You told him?" Paul asked, drawing a card from the deck.
"Only that I knew a place that could help him out."
"That wasn't very forthcoming, Jack," Jason said with disgust. "After you clued us in to what's wrong with him, we all agreed that it's up to us, as his best friends, to help him."
"Yeah, well," Jack said, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip from his imported beer. "I brought it up, so now he knows. Now, he can ask. He's got to, sooner or later, or he'll break somehow. I know he will." He stood up then and loosened the silk tie from his shirt. Like the others, Jack had worn a tailored suit to this club. It was a preferred form of dress, specifically for checking in.
"If he needs what you say he needs, how do you think he'll react once he lets go?" Paul asked, turning in his chair to watch Jack as he stood and looked out from the second story window. "I'm a bit worried about him, to tell you the truth."
"So am I, Paul. Once he lets his walls down," Jack said turning around and sitting on the sill. "Once he lets himself feel, I think that that facade he hides under will disappear forever."
Paul looked over at Jason, then back to Jack. "What's that mean?"
"Paul, you said yourself that you can just see the aggressiveness, the more passionate side of him, just waiting to jump out."
Paul shrugged, conceding that. "Okay, but what do you mean he'll 'disappear'?"
Jack sighed. "Daniel's been hiding. Possibly to protect himself and I'd like to find out why. We've all seen pieces of him that don't gel with the mostly soft-spoken, mild-mannered geek he's been laying on everyone for 7 years. I think that once we help him to see that it's okay to let go....we'll finally get to see the real Daniel Jackson."