~ part five ~
~ hunger ~
Daniel was bored.
For the past twelve days, including the damn weekend, he'd been working on a new Goa'uld translation that had initially seemed important. Unfortunately, after translating the simple words it was clear they were arranged in code; a code that Daniel was just as good at interpreting as he was at translating. This code was, however, proving to be difficult. His staff and Teal'c seemed to think it had something to do with the ancient home planet of Anubis, but after two days, Daniel had figured out one thing. The damned carved naquada stone writing had bugger all to do with anything, much less Anubis. Could have been someone's fucking laundry list for all he'd figured out. No mention of Anubis or anything pertaining to Anubis in any way, shape or fucking form.
And one more thing.
Daniel was pissed off and horny.
Two weekends previously, he'd had his sexual reawakening and it had been wonderful, glorious, and absolutely amazing. For two days, he'd had sex and then suddenly...nothing. Nothing but his hand had kept him company. Though his work was keeping him busy during the day, his nights had been free...and lonely, restless.
For reasons Daniel only partially rationalized, Jack was keeping his distance and that was getting on Daniel's nerves. Jason was also keeping his distance, and Daniel was beginning to suspect something was wrong. At the moment, Jace was offworld with his team and on his second long mission since that eventful weekend. Paul was different, though. He was back in DC, so distance wasn't a suspicious issue. Daniel had received the usual emails from him, but Paul was going to be busy so Daniel wasn't hopeful about the coming weekend. But Paul wasn't the problem. The problem was Jack...and Jason.
Why had Jack bothered to initiate anything with him and then bring him to the club in the first damn place if he was going to then leave him alone? Daniel felt like he'd been abandoned and left to fend for himself. Wasn't he supposed to be with his friends now? In more than just platonic ways? That one eventful weekend had left him with a deep certainty that there would be more, that he was now a lover, sexually involved with his friends. He thought more would be going on, their busy work life notwithstanding, but that wasn't the case. He was just left pissing in the wind.
What was he supposed to do now? Was he supposed to just 'date' now? Pick up guys? He didn't like that sort of dating, or even 'real' dating, and he wasn't about to start. Whether he liked casual sex or not, he didn't like prowling for dates and he never would.
Now that he'd let Jack convince him to let go, sex seemed to color his thoughts more than those dreams had. Or was it just sex?
Daniel sighed in resignation. He had no idea what the hell to think, what the hell to do, and most of all, what the hell to say to his friends about his...sex drive...and the nagging little part of him that was telling him that he didn't need the casual sex. He knew they were trying to push him into seeing others, but he really didn't want to. At least, he didn't think so. But he did seem to want sex all the time now, and the fact that his friends were suddenly unavailable pissed him off.
He finished typing up his report, and hit 'print' and 'send'. One electronic copy to Hammond, one hard copy for the report to be set with the field reports for the briefing he had to give in half an hour. Daniel was about as thrilled about it as he would have been about analyzing swamp gas.
Daniel slumped back in his chair. The damned briefing had been a chore. Jack seemed his usual self, as did everyone else, but Daniel felt as if he were on the outside looking in and he told himself that maybe it was because he was distracted because of the sex issues...and the fact that he felt abandoned. It didn't help that Jack's actions were just confirming his fears and assumptions. He knew his briefing slideshows were boring, but Jack had not made his usual sarcastic remarks and that had made Daniel more certain that he wasn't just being paranoid. It had suddenly occurred to him during the middle of the briefing that he was being avoided...carefully, subtly avoided.
He tried to analyze it. If it wasn't his imagination, why would they avoid him? Daniel thought about it over and over, trying to find the small things that would prove or disprove his theory. He compared them to memories before that eventful weekend. Daniel drew up his yellow legal pad and pencilled in two columns. 'Before' and 'After'.
Okay, so before, he'd spent most of his on-base time, mostly alone, in his office. He was still doing that, so that hadn't changed.
His friends, specifically Jack and Jason, would drop by periodically to hound him about eating or to drag him down to the gym or to the local pub at the base of the mountain.
Off-base activities weren't every day; they never had been. But...hadn't they always found some time to include him in things? To relax, to take it easy, even during the busy times? Even if it had been only a few hours of downtime? Answer, yes.
In the last twelve days? Answer, no.
Okay, maybe twelve days wasn't a long enough period of time, but considering how things had changed, that time frame still stuck out like a sore thumb.
If he asked Jack about it, he might become defensive and turn it around so that Daniel would be the one under the scope. Which would then make Daniel both pissed off and feel stupid for analyzing it in the first place. That was Jack's typical reaction to being confronted, though. He got defensive and struck out or diverted attention. He avoided anything personal, that is unless he saw that someone needed help.
That thought pissed Daniel off. So, now that he didn't need his help, he was suddenly left out again? Or had Jack just seen Daniel's 'problem' in terms of a good CO seeing something wrong with a member of his team, and making the effort to fix it?
Daniel sighed with even more resignation. Damn his own feelings, anyway. That was it, wasn't it? His friends had simply seen a problem and had helped. That's all it was. That's all he was. Which meant that he had felt more than his friends had. He'd been so sure that they'd loved him more than just the usual love of a best friend.
Angrily, Daniel tossed his pencil across his office, and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his face. He was such a fucking fool. And a very horny fool, too. He took a couple of deep breaths, then ran his fingers through his hair as he got up to retrieve his pencil.
Footsteps at his door startled him slightly and he turned around and saw Jason was standing there in the doorway. Daniel couldn't help but feel that warm pull in his heart, and now in his groin, upon seeing the man. Jason wasn't wearing his field gear anymore, dressed only in his utility greens, and Daniel realized that he hadn't even heard the klaxon that sounded the warning for incoming travellers, letting him know that someone had returned.
Daniel ordered himself to be casual, to show no obvious emotion. He'd done it easily before those fucking dreams. He could do it now. Nonchalant, Jackson. Nonchalant.
"Hey, Jason."
"Hey," Jason replied as he walked further into the office.
"How long have you been back?" he asked, sitting down at his desk and trying to look busy by opening a book.
"A couple of hours. Just got done with the briefing," and he gave Daniel a caring look when Daniel looked up at him. Daniel quickly looked away. Caring. Concerned. Friendly. All of which meant what to Jason?
"I thought you were offworld for another day."
"Yeah, but we finished our mission early so...instead of hanging around partying with the locals, we came home."
Daniel tried out a grin but it ended up feeling like a grimace, so it probably looked like one. "Partying, huh?"
Jason shrugged. "Yeah, you know. Drink weird stuff, eat even weirder stuff, come home, get scanned and probed. Same old, same old."
"So, nothing new?" Daniel asked, hoping Jason would say something that would assuage his worry. But Jason didn't. He just gave him a small grin that made Daniel feel a little more heat in his groin.
Daniel decided that maybe he could test Jason. He knew Jason had a rule about messing around on base. He'd learned that a long time ago when Jason was seeing someone for a short time; someone other than Jack or Paul. Maybe it would be different with him, now that things had changed? Or maybe not. It wasn't a good test, but he'd definitely find out.
Daniel got up and shut and locked his door. "Are you...doing anything now?" he asked as he walked back over toward Jason, placing his hand on the small of Jason's back. Jason's brow went up and he tensed as Daniel put his other hand on the back of Jason's neck and pulled him into a kiss, opening his mouth and encouraging Jason to open his. A split-second later, Jason pulled his head away and stepped out of Daniel's embrace.
"Not here, Daniel."
Daniel gave him a playful scowl. "What, no hello, I missed you? Jason, no security camera, and my door's locked." He reached for Jason once more but Jason backed away...again.
"Daniel, you know my rule: not at work."
Daniel frowned...and his worries had just been confirmed. Jason has just been brusque with him and he was never that way before. His friends were avoiding him. Simply because of what had happened. Daniel's frown increased and Jason gave him a look of confusion.
"What?" Jason asked. "I just don't want to risk anything. You do understand that, right?"
Daniel didn't answer, feeling the brush-off keenly. He walked over to the door and unlocked it, sliding the door open. He turned to Jason, seeing the look of confusion, and a bit of anger, covering Jason's features.
"It was nice to see you, Jace," Daniel said flatly, in as dead a tone as he could muster. He turned and moved over to his lab table, his back to Jason.
Lowering his voice, then shutting the door again, Jason walked over to him. "Daniel, don't be like that. What's wrong? You know I've never--"
"Yeah, whatever, Jason."
"Daniel..."
Daniel ground his teeth together, not looking at Jason. Go be with Jack or someone else, 'cause it's obvious you don't want anything to do with me. Daniel knew he was being petty and vindictive and for the moment, he didn't care. He felt he was justified.
Jason put his hand out and touched Daniel's arm and Daniel flinched away as if burned. He looked over at Jason with icy, hard eyes. He was pissed. He wanted to say so much and he wanted to lash out. But he didn't. He just ground his teeth, clenched his jaw, and looked through files and photos without seeing any of them.
Jason stared at him in surprise. Daniel was now not only hurt, he was hostile. Something else was going on here...and Jason knew exactly what it was. Okay, so maybe his feelings for Daniel were more intense and...maybe he shouldn't have avoided him. Full-fledged guilt suddenly washed over Jason. He put the shoe on the other foot and tried to imagine how he'd feel, and he bloody-well didn't like it.
He sat down in the chair by Daniel's desk. "I'm so sorry, Daniel. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
Daniel stared at him, his mouth open. He then shut it, and in a typically low, sarcastic voice, he said, "Really? Since you're avoiding me, I rather thought you were purposely trying to hurt me. But that really doesn't matter now, does it, Jace? You guys seem to treat sex as if it's a game. But guess what, Jace? It's not a game to me. But I can learn. Trust me."
Jason started to reach for him again and Daniel escaped by opening his door and leaving his office. He glanced down at his watch and saw that it was almost dinner time. Past time to go home. He winced, then went back to his office, found Jason still sitting there, dumbfounded at Daniel's quiet outburst, and picked up the phone and called Jack.
"O'Neill."
"Hey, Jack."
"Daniel, what are you still doing here?"
"You didn't call me to say we were dismissed, Jack."
"I thought I....never mind. We're done for the day, Daniel."
"Good, see you tomorrow."
"Okay."
Daniel hung up the phone, not in the least surprised by Jack's officious manner. They were all either ignoring him, avoiding him, or acting as if what had happened never did.
"Daniel, we should talk."
He shut off his computer, locked up his files, then grabbed his jacket and gestured for Jason to leave the office. Jason did and Daniel locked the door and proceeded down the hall, leaving Jason standing there, staring after him. Jason was no longer surprised. He looked pissed off.
Good, Daniel thought. Now you're in the same place I am, only for different reasons.
After changing into his civilian clothes, Daniel made his way up to the eleventh floor and after switching cars, made his way up to the surface. When the elevator stopped on the fifth floor, he was joined by a young man a few inches shorter than himself, also in civilian clothes. Daniel couldn't remember his name but he was part of the support staff; the supply, kitchen or laundry services, he couldn't remember which. He nodded to him and the young man nodded back.
"Dr. Jackson, isn't it?" the man asked.
"Yes, and I'm sorry, but I don't remember..."
"GS-6 Stone, Alex Stone. Supply."
"That's right," Daniel said, giving the man a warm handshake and a soft smile. "You're leaving now or do they keep you working late?" he added, making polite conversation.
"No, my shift's over for the day. I generally stay late to do supply runs and restocking of inventory."
With no more stops, the elevator brought them to the main level B corridor and they stepped out into the parking garage. Daniel turned to the man, who seemed to be standing just a little too close to him, surprising him slightly.
"It was nice to meet you, Dr. Jackson. If you ever want to get together and do something, I work on Level 5, Corridor C, Room 12," and he held out his hand. Daniel shook it. Alex Stone gave Daniel a long, warm handshake, hinting at something more than just getting together for lunch. The man smiled a bit, then let Daniel's hand go.
Daniel gave him a slight raise of his mouth. "Thanks, Mr. Stone. I'll keep that in mind."
"You do that, Doctor. Have a good night."
"Thanks, you too." The man turned and walked in the opposite direction that Daniel had to go. Daniel made his way to his car and he smiled a little bit, feeling slightly better than he had fifteen minutes earlier. The supply clerk had been good looking, too.
Daniel had been at home for about an hour, and he was still seething, but the seething was no longer at boiling point. But resentment was now kicking in. He resented Jason for rebuffing him, for avoiding him, and he resented himself for wanting Jason so much.
And he did want him. Boy, did he want him. The memories of being with Jason were strong and alluring. Daniel didn't know what to do about them. Or about his reawakened need. But he would have to do something, that was for sure.
He stood at the stove, setting the baking temperature for his dinner. He was hungry and not just for food. For sex. It was distracting him because he wasn't doing anything about it. His anger began to rise again, mingling with his resentment at being refused. It wasn't as if he'd done anything. His assumption that Jason loved him - as a friend obviously - had apparently been erroneous. So why then didn't the bastard just tell him that the sex meant nothing? Jason had always been honest with him, so why wasn't he now? Because he didn't want him anymore and he felt guilty, that's why. A stereotypical response.
Well, if Jason didn't want him, Daniel knew damned well that others did. He was once again sexually active, and he was damned if he was going back to celibacy. One way or another, he'd find what he needed no matter how long it took him. If Jason and Jack wouldn't give him what he needed or wanted, then he'd learn to take it from those who would. He'd been right to warn Jason about learning the game. He didn't know how to play but he would learn it if he had to.
Daniel then wondered if Jason and Jack were his friends anymore. Jason seemed to think they were, but Daniel wasn't so sure. Maybe Jason stopped by because he'd decided that he 'wanted some', despite Daniel's previous attempts to get together. So it was Jason's timetable, not Daniel's, that mattered? Daniel became mad as hell all over again. So much for cooling off.
Daniel suddenly thought about Paul and wanted to hit himself for forgetting him. He kept thinking locally. How stupid of him. Daniel thought about the past weeks. There hadn't been any change in Paul's behavior. Daniel had had his usual emails and periodic phone calls. They hadn't changed and neither had the content of their conversations...except for maybe a lot more sexual innuendo now. Was Paul the only one he had left then?
Waiting for the oven to heat up to the correct temperature, he poured himself a small glass of whiskey, added ice, then went to the bedroom to change into his blue shorts and white tee before taking his shower. Dinner would take about an hour so he had plenty of time. On his way back to the kitchen, he heard a knock on his door. Setting the whiskey glass down on the phone desk, and not giving a damn how he was dressed, he opened it.
Jason.
The man looked rather pissed off. Daniel was glad, and resentful that Jason dared to be pissed off at all. Daniel stared at him, looking him up and down assessingly. Jeans that fit snugly, a forest green tee that fit just a little more snugly, his dark brown boots, and his brown leather aviator jacket. As always, Jason looked good enough to eat. This was not helping Daniel's anger to die down. In fact, it made him even more mad, when then started to change to sadness due to loss.
Well, what the fuck do you want? was what Daniel's expression said. What he voiced out loud was, "Jace."
"Daniel."
When Daniel made no motion to invite Jason in, Jason sighed. "May I come in?"
Daniel made it look as if he were thinking about it, then he stepped aside. When Jason passed him, he passed rather close to Daniel, though there was plenty of room. Daniel smelled his arousing aftershave and held his breath as he shut the door. Walking away from him, Daniel asked, almost casually, though sarcasm colored the tone,
"What can I do for you, Jason?"
Jason sighed, almost growling. "You never let me explain, Daniel."
"What's the point, Jace? You made your feelings - or lack thereof - pretty clear," Daniel said, turning to see Jason hanging up his jacket. He shook his head. Apparently Jason now wanted to talk. Well, bully for him. Daniel hoped Jason was prepared for getting an earful in return.
"Or lack thereof? Where are you getting this from?"
Daniel had his back to him as he entered the kitchen. Jason's words made him want to hit him. He drew down a glass from the cupboard and poured Jason a short glass of the same drink, adding ice.
"Here!" and he shoved the glass at him and Jason took it, surprised at the mild violence of it. "Never let it be said that I'm not a gracious host. Drink it, say your bullshit, and leave."
"Bullshit?"
Indignantly, Daniel finally spit it out. "It's not about what did not happen in my office, Jason. That was a test. You have been ignoring me and avoiding me. Both you and Jack. You made me feel as if what happened that weekend at the club was nothing more than a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am now go find someone else to fuck."
Jason stared at him, his mouth wide open. He hadn't even touched his drink. "It wasn't that. It couldn't ever be that. I'm sorry." Jason started.
"Forget it."
"No, let's not. You're upset and it's making me upset. So you want to know? Okay, I admit it. I was avoiding you. I...I...got scared. I was thinking of you too much and I didn't want people to notice. I decided that maybe if I avoided you a few times, I wouldn't get so fucking hard around you, but I fucked up. You took it wrong and it's my fault. I don't want to stop being with you or to stop being friends. You're my best friend, Daniel! I can't answer for Jack. He's being an ass about his command thing. Let him work it out. But you and I are fine!"
Daniel blinked at him. Jason was sincere. He knew the man and knew he was telling the truth but his own anger was clouding his judgment.
"Jason...dammit..." and he went silent a moment, staring at his friend. "Listen to me, maybe I 'can' do casual, but it isn't what I want. In fact, I'm not really sure what I want, or who I want...but I feel something when I'm with a guy. I can't help it. I prefer to feel that when I'm with someone I care about, and that's you and Jack and Paul. You guys don't seem to need to care about whoever it is that you fuck and you seem to expect me to just fuck 'em and forget 'em but...I...can't...do...that."
"That's not true, Daniel. We care. We always have."
"Then why won't you bloody-well show it!"
"What do you mean? I just said...Daniel, dammit." Jason took a few deep breaths. They were going round and round and Daniel wasn't letting his words sink in.
"At work, I get it. You explained the on-base thing a long time ago when sex wasn't an issue. I understood why and I respect it. But this is different. You didn't need to be rude, Jason. I felt dismissed, and that let me know you've been avoiding me altogether. When you don't have to be with me in a meeting or on a mission, I don't see you at all anymore...and maybe twelve days isn't long enough, but it's goddamn long enough to me. You guys are used to having sex. I'm not. I need, too."
Daniel turned away from him, feeling angry tears of frustration and grief and blinked them away. No matter what, he wouldn't start crying like some damn baby. He drank his liquor down instead, then turned to the counter without looking at Jason and poured another.
Meanwhile, Jason was feeling guilty. The twelve days had gone by too fast. Too fast for him to get his feelings under control.
"I'm sorry. I do care, Daniel. I'm your best friend - or one of them, anyway - so I love you. It's just that my feelings for you have become too intense and I needed to step back. I wanted you every damn day, Daniel. I wanted you so damn bad." He wanted to hold Daniel right then but sensed from Daniel's body language that it wasn't a good idea.
Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache threatening. It clouded his mind for a moment as to what he heard and what he suddenly 'chose' to hear. His anger wasn't dissipating and he wouldn't calm down. He wanted to believe Jason, and a big part of him did, but the angry part won in combination with the looming headache.
Flippantly, he said, "On your own schedule, of course. Fine, whatever, Jace." and he stalked out of the kitchen and down the hall to the bathroom, with Jason following several steps behind. "I don't believe you want me, Jason, despite what you said. It's probably only because Jack's not available," and Daniel ended his statement by opening up the medicine cabinet and grabbing the ibuprofen. He tossed a few tablets in his mouth and swallowed them down with a cup of water from the sink. He turned around to leave but found Jason blocking his way.
"Jason..."
"Even after what I said, you think I don't want you?" Jason asked, his voice lowering.
Daniel sighed. "Jason, you came to me because you wanted some, didn't you? It had nothing to do with actually wanting me. You probably just can't have Jack, and excuse me if that doesn't put me in the mood to be very receptive."
"You think I don't desire or want you?" Jason asked again, his tone now quietly dangerous. There was something about it that Daniel couldn't quite nail down. "I want you all the fucking time. Just as I want Jack. And when Paul's here, I want him just as much. But you...it's different. I wanted you...a lot, Daniel. I still do. But you're...you're not used to this...this...thing we have going and I didn't want to crowd you or scare you. I thought you wanted to...date maybe. To see others?"
Daniel fidgeted. "Maybe. I don't know what I want. And maybe I should give it time, but goddamn it, Jason. There I was, having the best sex in ten years and then suddenly - nothing, nada, zilch! You and Jack decided to leave me hanging. I may not know who or what I want but I goddamn well know when I wanted you and you rejected me."
"So you're certain that I don't want you."
"Well...even after what you just said, you still managed to avoid me, Jason. You should have just come to me and explained. I thought our friendship was better than that. Apparently, it isn't so, no, I'm not sure I believe you just yet...and maybe it's because I'm mad and anger has a tendency to--"
"Would you like me to show you how much I want you?" Jason growled deeply and Daniel felt a shock of surprise as heat rose to his cheeks at the sound of Jason's voice.
Jason, still holding his glass of liquor, took him by the arm and guided him into the bedroom. Daniel stared back at him, his anger replaced by surprise and shock. There was a sexual aggressiveness about Jason that reminded Daniel of his time with Dylan. Daniel suddenly felt a very specific tingling sensation run down his spine and around his balls and then straight up his dick.
He swallowed hard when Jason looked at him over the edge of the glass as he emptied it, then set the glass on the dresser by the door. Jason suddenly pulled off one boot and dropped it onto the carpet, then the removed the other. Jason was thinking that what Daniel needed was not words but action, and he was right.
"You think I don't want you," Jason stated in the same growling tone as he pulled off his tee roughly and tossed it to the floor, then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans. "That's not true, Daniel. I'm going to show you how much I want you. How much I always want you." Jason pushed his jeans off, followed by his boxers.
Daniel clearly saw how hard Jason was and a flush swarmed over him as his heart began to pound. Jason's telling the truth. He couldn't think of anything to say. He simply found himself wanting to happen what he knew was going to happen. He wanted it bad and to hell with the psychological reasons it shouldn't. Emotionally and physically, Daniel needed this.
Jason walked toward him quickly and grabbed him around the waist, yanking him hard against him. Daniel felt a rush of heat rising everywhere, arousing him more, and he inhaled sharply with lust as Jason brought his mouth to his in a fiery kiss. Jason's hands were hard, rough, ripping his clothes - not just removing them - and Daniel moaned and kissed Jason back harder as the sound of his tee shirt being torn off his body filled his ears. His shorts were pushed down savagely and Daniel grabbed the man's hair and pulled his head back, showing Jason how much he liked what he was doing as he licked and bit along his throat. Jason then roughly shoved Daniel down on the bed and looked into the drawer for the lube.
Daniel moved over and slid his hand underneath the pillow when he saw Jason searching the drawer. Jason saw lube in his hand and he slammed the drawer shut. He yanked his socks off then climbed swiftly over the bed and over Daniel, rubbing his skin over him as his mouth attacked Daniel's throat, then found his lips and his tongue forced through them to join in battle. Daniel battled back, emitting a gasp of surprise, fueled with lust as Jason roughly caressed his cock, almost possessively. He tore the lube from Daniel's hands and Daniel's fingers immediately sought out flesh to roughly caress in return. He pinched, massaged, molded, and then once more clasped painfully at Jason's hair as Jason's mouth nipped and sucked at his nipples.
Daniel gasped as Jason nipped and bit down his abdomen to take his cock into his mouth, grazing his teeth along the shaft. Daniel winced at the acute shudders that send through him, then Jason's mouth sucked hard at the head, his tongue moving rapidly over the slit. He moved his mouth to Daniel's balls next as his hand stroked his shaft, and Daniel felt the tingling sensations running all over his body as Jason feverishly licked and sucked, then turned Daniel onto his stomach as his mouth continued to explore and arouse. His tongue traced a wet line up his perineum, to his rectum, moving in circles and thrusting inside. Daniel moaned loudly and raised his ass toward Jason's mouth, but Jason didn't continue. He bit at Daniel's firm ass cheeks and Daniel heard the sound of the lube's cap snapping open. Cool, lubed fingers now pressed at his entrance while Jason continued his nips and bites and kisses over his ass and up the small of his back.
"Oh God!" Daniel cried out, clutching and drawing up the bed covers as Jason's fingers pushed slowly inside him and began to move. Jason moved up over his body as he busily worked his fingers inside Daniel's ass, and his teeth now firmly aroused the skin of Daniel's shoulders and behind his neck. Jason's voice, low and husky, sent a shiver of want down his spine.
"You want me to show you how much I love you? How much I want you?"
"Yes, Jace. God, yes," Daniel whispered with want, moving his ass in time with Jason's probing fingers. Jason's lubed cock was now pressing into his entrance as his fingers clamped down over a shoulder for leverage.
"Lift up," Jason told him and Daniel lifted up as Jason placed the spare pillow underneath him, and before he moved his hand away, he found Daniel's cock and stroked him.
"Jason..." Daniel breathed, panting now.
"Spread your legs," Jason whispered against his ear as he let go of his cock and grabbed hold of the front of his thigh. The head of Jason's dick suddenly pushed inside Daniel, then pulled out, then pushed inside once more. He kept teasing Daniel and himself, then before Daniel could protest, he pushed inside him with deliberate slowness. Opening Daniel's legs as wide as they would go, he lay over him, his legs wide between them, his knees finding the right placement behind Daniel's thighs. He then grabbed Daniel by the front of both thighs and pulled him back with him, forcing a loud groan from Daniel's throat as his cock moved in deep.
"Feels good, Daniel. Is this what you wanted?"
"Yes," Daniel whispered as the heat from Jason's cock seemed to fill every part of him. He rested on his forearms, almost hugging his pillow, trying to raise his ass to get Jason's cock deeper. His cock grazed the bed, then Jason's hand reached around and stroked him several times while he waited for Daniel's anal muscles to adjust.
"That feel good?" Jason whispered, knowing damn well it did.
Daniel dropped his forehead to the pillow, gasping out, "Yes," then gave a loud moan as Jason started to rock his hips and thrust. Long, deep thrusts sent shudders through him and his fists white-knuckled the pillow he now clutched.
"Oh God, more, Jason. More," Daniel chanted as the shudders of pleasure passed through him again and again. Jason suddenly squeezed his cock as he thrust hard, slapping his balls against Daniel's ass repeatedly before his dick was abandoned as Jason's fingers gripped his waist and pulled his body back to him as he thrust forward...harder. Daniel cried out, demanding more and Jason gave it to him.
Daniel gripped the bed tightly with one hand while his other reached for his cock to stroke and squeeze. "Fuck me harder, dammit!" he cried out and he felt his body yanked backward as Jason slammed into him.
"Oh God, Jason, Oh God," Daniel gasped, his voice rising as he felt himself about to come. Jason quickened then, gripping him hard as he rocked Daniel into the bed. Daniel suddenly cried out and came explosively over his hand, crying out again as Jason roared and his semen pulsed against his tiny gland, the hot caresses extending the tremors that were already running through him.
Jason's arms surrounded Daniel's body as he pulled them both down on their sides, his cock remaining inside him as they lay there, shuddering, trembling, panting hard. Daniel moved his arms tightly over Jason's as they waited for their bodies to quiet.
When Daniel's breathing finally slowed enough for him to talk, he leaned into Jason. "That was....intense."
Jason kissed the sweat-damp hair behind his ear. "Are you okay?" he asked gently, feeling a wave of guilt come over him as he pulled out of Daniel and turned him around in his arms.
"I'm okay, Jace."
"Daniel, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...not that way..."
Daniel smiled a little, even though he felt a little contrite himself. He put his fingers to Jason's lips. "I wanted it that way. I think I goaded you on purpose. I'm not sure. All I know is that I loved it and wanted it and needed it." He pulled Jason into a tender kiss, then nuzzled his chin. "I'm sorry I got so mad."
Jason nuzzled back. "My fault. I didn't mean to get you upset." Daniel nuzzled his acceptance of what Jason said. He knew it was true.
Daniel's eyes suddenly widened, his face concentrating hard, making Jason frown in puzzlement. "Uh oh."
"What?"
"I left the oven on. You hungry?"
Jason smiled. "Oh, yeah I think so."
After cleaning up and putting on only his shorts, Daniel padded to the kitchen and placed his small pan of spinach lasagna in the oven, then set the timer for an hour. He then pulled Jason into the shower with him and they slowly cleaned each other, eliciting only a little arousal between them.
Shirtless, barefoot, wearing only jeans, the two were starved and more than ready to eat dinner. Daniel set Jason's plate down on the table and Jason immediately dug in, having worked up a healthy appetite.
"Wow, Daniel. You get this from the neighbor or Mrs. Gilley from the cafeteria?" Jason asked and as Daniel made his way back to the table with his own plate, Jason received a smack in the back of the head. Jason started sniggering, which was something he did every time Daniel smacked him for teasing.
"Very funny, Jace," he said, pausing to take a small bite. "Glad you like it though."
"Like it? You think I was paying you a compliment?" Jason asked, stuffing his face.
"Oh, well, in that case," Daniel said, getting up and grabbing Jason's plate. Jason slapped his hand.
"Hey, hey, hey! I was kidding! Gimme that!"
Daniel sniggered that time, sticking his tongue between his teeth.
"Bastard, trying to steal my food," Jason mumbled with a grin, eating more.
Daniel watched him with relative amusement. "You certainly are hungry, Jace."
Jason slowed and gave Daniel a filthy closed-mouth grin. "You may have had something to do with that."
Daniel returned the smile, then his face became a bit more serious and he looked down at his plate. He suddenly realized why he'd reacted - or overreacted - the way he had. He'd let his anger control him and it wasn't like him at all. He didn't know how to start so he just said it.
"I've missed you," he whispered.
Jason paused, his hand stilled halfway to his mouth before slowly lowering his fork to his plate. Daniel looked up through his lashes, then quickly back down at his plate and began to push at the edges of his food, fidgeting.
"I need to tell you something I've only just figured out so let me get it all out first," and he cleared his throat and drank some water. "I got angry with you, Jason, because I missed you. I'm sorry for playing a game with you in my office. I know how you are at work at I didn't need to be that way. I should have just confronted you about it. I think...I resented the ease with which you and Jack, and Paul, too, can just 'pretend' to not care while you're at work and I'm not used to it. As friends, it was different. But as lovers, it's hard. In front of others, okay, I get that. It's easy and I can do that, but alone...I can't pretend. I'll never be able to.
"As for casual sex and looking around, 'dating' as it were, I don't know how I can do that. Maybe with those I just meet, like Dylan, but it won't be easy for me and I need you to get that. I suppose it all depends on my mood, too. One night stands weren't my thing before, Jace," and he looked up at him, "before I went to Abydos, except for the one night stands I had were when I was a teenager. After I grew up, I had relationships. Even if the relationships were only a couple of weeks long, I couldn't just have sex without emotional connection of some kind," then he paused again and cleared his throat.
"I love you, Jace. Just as I love Paul and Jack. Unfortunately," and looked down at his plate, "by involving our friendship with sex, my connection, or love, for you has deepened. I know that my feelings aren't shared as deeply," and he sighed sadly, then swallowed again, "but I think it's only fair that you know where I'm coming from before anything else happens between us." Daniel took another deep breath and then poured more iced water from the pitcher on the table into his glass. He drank a third of it down.
Jason reached out and took Daniel's hand. "Didn't you hear me say I love you, Daniel?"
Daniel squeezed his had, feeling a tingle run through him. "Yes."
"Would I say that and not mean it? Would we go to such extremes for you? None of us takes sex lightly, Daniel. Not between us, anyway."
Daniel frowned a little. "I'm sorry, I just thought--"
"We military guys have our feelings. We've just been too well trained not to show them. It doesn't mean we don't feel them. We do love you, I love you, just as you love me. We - I - would not have made love with you otherwise."
"And what was that we just did, Jace? Have rough sex or make love?"
Jason winked at him. "Daniel, you're nowhere near naïve. We had both because of how we feel. I think our emotions made it rough, though," and he paused, a startled expression on his face. "Do you now regret--"
"No, Jace. Not one moment."
Jason relaxed and smiled then, "Me neither." He cleared his throat several times. "Um, we..er, you should probably talk about dating, or casual sex. We can discuss anything about it and maybe I can help but I, um, have to ask you this one thing. Do you think that you have to be detached in order to have casual sex?"
Daniel took a bite of his food, the look on his face letting Jason know that he was thinking about it. He finally nodded. "I think so. 'Casual sex' is intrinsically unemotional, or rather, uninvolved, as it's name implies. Casual. Unless I literally act on it, you know, having sex without thinking about it, I guess I'll never know if I can be detached. I think I'll always feel something, but if this is what you think I should do, then I'll give myself a chance. I can't promise anything, Jace. I don't even think it's necessary, actually. I have you guys. Is there a reason you want me to try?"
"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. None of us do. We just thought, um, I just thought that, well, you might find someone else, even through casual sex. Sometimes guys in the field who have those 'buddy fucks' eventually develop something. Anyway, all I'm saying is that you might want to be with others and you don't really know until you try. I'm just saying, give yourself a chance."
"Okay, Jace, but I'm not guaranteeing anything." Daniel felt a little better for Jason's explanation and he smiled. Jason could see him relax and that made him feel better. They both began to eat again. After a few more minutes, Daniel had more to say.
"I...um, Jason...I want to ask you something." He'd wanted to say something to him for a while but ever since that weekend, they hadn't had any private time...intended or not.
Jason set down his fork and took a drink from his iced water. He gave Daniel a nod, curious as to what was on his mind. "Go ahead."
"Have you ever fulfilled a sexual fantasy?"
Jason's browline went up about two inches. "Wow, where did that question come from?"
"Uh, sorry, Jace. I didn't know how else to say it except...say it."
Jason thought about his question after he'd gotten over the abruptness of it. "To answer your question, yes, I've fulfilled a sexual fantasy."
Daniel smiled a bit. "I don't need to know the details, Jace. It's something I wanted to know before I ask something else."
Jason swallowed his embarrassment and said it. "I've fulfilled a few. My latest was you."
Daniel blinked in surprise. "Me?"
Jason nodded slowly, his voice very quiet. "I've always wanted to be with you. To make love with you."
Daniel was speechless for a few minutes. "Wow." Jason grabbed Daniel's hand again, smiled, and kissed the knuckles quickly, then let him go.
"I'm sorry. I made you uncomfortable."
"You didn't," Daniel said, shaking his head. "I've just...never been involved in someone's fantasy before. Makes me wish I'd known about it."
"Ah, but that would have destroyed your reactions that one Saturday morning...and a little while ago," and he cleared his throat.
Daniel grinned shyly. "I have one I need to...fulfill."
Jason gave him a long look, which slowly transformed into an understanding one. "It's that bondage dream, isn't it? It's still haunting you?"
Daniel put his fork down and took a long drink from his ice water. He sat back, gave Jason his own long look, then nodded. He didn't say anything else for a while and went back to eating his dinner, as did Jason. Daniel wanted to tell Jason but he had a feeling Jason could fit the pieces together without him saying anything. But even so, he did need to say something if he wanted Jason's help in somehow fulfilling this dream. Maybe not from Jason himself. The unknown man in the dream needed to be more unknown to him than his friends, whom he could discern by smell, by movement. Daniel had learned that much since he joined the SGC: he was able to recognize his surroundings, even in pitch dark or near dark and the man in his dreams was silhouetted, in shadow, unidentifiable. Maybe Jason would help him figure out how to 'safely' fulfill this dream. After all, he simply couldn't ask a complete stranger, "Excuse me, would you please tie me face down to a bed and fuck me senseless?" No, that definitely would not be a good idea, though it did arouse him every time he thought about it.
Jason watched Daniel as they both finished their meal. He wasn't about to interrupt Daniel's thoughts and he wasn't about to offer to fulfill his dream. It was for Daniel to ask. If Jason remembered and understood the dream correctly, he didn't know if he could help to fulfill it and that disappointed him. He was rather enamored with the idea.
"What?" Daniel asked as he noticed Jason's face changing expression.
"Do you want me to keep this quiet or is it okay to mention this to Jack or Paul if I get any private time with them before you do?"
Daniel smiled at him. "You can mention it. I don't know how to have that kind of a dream..." and he shook his head.
"Don't worry, Daniel. We'll think of something."
Daniel gently smiled at him. "Okay." He noted Jason's face assuming another serious look. "What?"
"I feel like shit for avoiding you. And I...didn't tell you the whole reason I did it..." He looked down, not meeting Daniel's eyes, and Daniel, though startled again, waited for him to explain. "When I said I loved you, that I cared too much and was afraid of being found out...it wasn't just that. It's 'cause my feelings for you are too intense. I didn't know how to get a grip on them, so I had to avoid you a little bit until I figured it out. I know I hinted on that before, but I needed to make you understand that that was the real reason."
Daniel couldn't say he was surprised. He got up and pulled Jason to his feet then took him into his arms for a close hug. He closed his eyes as he felt Jason wrap his arms about him and hold him tightly. After a few moments, Daniel pulled away a bit, making Jason look him in the eye. "Have you figured out everything then?"
"Not completely...but it's because I...want you. All the damn time. Why do you think I got so mad at you for saying those things? I don't think our friendship will ever be one we can...step back from. You're too passionate an individual."
Daniel eyed him teasingly. "Was that a compliment?"
Jason grinned wolfishly then. "After a fashion."
"Wow. I'll try not to let it go to my head."
Daniel kissed him on the nose, then Jason pushed him away playfully. Daniel set about covering and putting the lasagna pan in the fridge while Jason started to do the dishes. Daniel walked up behind him suddenly and threaded his arms through Jason's, attempting to help him wash, but it wasn't the reason he stood there. He felt Jason left something unsaid. "Was there something else?" He saw the side of Jason's face crack in a smile.
Jason rinsed a plate and put it in the dish drainer. "I was wondering...have you done bondage before?"
Daniel smiled wickedly against Jason's shoulder, letting the man feel that he was smiling, sending a shiver down Jason's spine as he playfully bit the side of his neck.
"Yes...did you want to tie me up, Jace?"
"Yes...but I also wanted you to..."
"Tie you up?"
Jason swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath. "Yes." Daniel's body, pressing firmly against him, was making his dick throb almost painfully at the possibility of having Daniel tie him up.
Daniel could feel Jason's body tense and he knew that Jason was becoming as excited as he was. They seemed to share more in common than he thought. Nuzzling against his neck, Daniel moved his hands, wet from the water, to Jason's jeans and slowly opened them and pushed them down over his hips.
"Daniel..."
"Do you want me to stop?" Daniel asked as he opened and pushed his own pants down, hoping that Jason said 'No.'
"No," Jason whispered after a few long seconds. Daniel stepped back and grabbed the olive oil off the counter and opened the bottle, pouring oil over his throbbing dick. He had this feeling that Jason would like this and damn, if he wasn't aroused beyond belief himself. Jason washed the remaining plate very slowly, absently, waiting to see what Daniel did, and he gasped as he felt the sensation of oil sliding down the crack of his ass and Daniel's slick fingers stimulating him.
"Oh God, Daniel," he said, his body trembling with tension as his fingers almost broke the plate as he clutched it's edges, his want climbing sky-high. What was happening was highly erotic and he really wanted it. More than anything. He gasped loudly as Daniel's fingers pressed inside him, slowly moving, fucking him. He felt more oil sliding down between his ass cheeks, then over his balls. The sensation made him shudder.
Daniel's nerves were strung tightly as he got off on the reactions he was drawing out of Jason. He wanted Jason very badly and he had no idea where these feelings were coming from but he was listening to them. He moved his fingers from Jason's ass and poured more oil over them before reaching around to grab hold of his lover's dick, stroking him slowly as he pressed the head of his cock against his rectum and pushed. The plate finally slipped from Jason's fingers and dropped back into the water as he pressed his hands flat against the bottom of the sink as Daniel buried his cock completely inside him in one long, slow motion.
Daniel removed his hand from Jason's cock and moved both hands, covered in oil, over his chest, coating his skin. His fingers pinched at Jason's nipples, bringing a soft hiss. His slick fingers travelled up over Jason's arms then slid down toward his hands in the water. Clasping his fingers over Jason's, he suddenly locked them together in a hard grip, arousing them both with the rough display. As he bit against the back of Jason's neck, Daniel began to move his hips, grinding against his lover's ass then began to pump in short strokes, panting against his ear.
"You feel so good. You like this, Jace?"
Jason tightened his fingers in Daniel's. "Yes...Daniel...yes. Fuck me," he panted harshly, then gasped out a cry as Daniel moved in deeper with his thrusts, finding his sweet spot. His body shuddered with tight, hot pleasure.
"Harder," Jason choked as he raised his ass to meet Daniel's strokes.
"Yes," Daniel gasped, and moved faster, harder. Jason clasped his fingers and bent over the sink, pulling Daniel with him, and Daniel bit his shoulders and over the top of his spine. Jason gasped with delight at the rough touch. Daniel changed his strokes, undulating, then circling his hips, and each time he thrust, he thrust hard and deep.
After continuing on and on, pulling the shudders out of them, Daniel suddenly moved his hands to Jason's waist, sloshing water out of the sink. He moved back, pulling Jason with him.
"Hold on, baby," he whispered, as he felt this uncontrollable need to pound. Grabbing a firm, almost bruising hold on Jason's hips, he began to do just that. Pound. And pound. And pound.
"Daniel, Oh God!" Jason cried out as he tried to maintain a grip on the edge of the sink. "Fuck me, Daniel! Yes, Fuck me!"
"Oh my...yes, God yes!" Daniel panted with surprise as he felt his orgasm approaching already. "OhmyGod!" and he pounded almost savagely into Jason, his balls slapping rapidly against Jason's ass.
"Yes! Yes! FUCK ME, DAN--!" Jason cried out harshly as Daniel's cock ruthlessly rubbed his gland and had him coming hard. Daniel felt his own pleasure exploding out of him and it was so intense, he bit down on Jason's back, panting with long, harsh moans.
The two of them now leaned heavily against the sink, the water still running while they waited out the continuing spasms their bodies were going through. When he felt his orgasm was through, Daniel closed his eyes a moment, then opened them and abruptly pulled himself out of Jason, then released his hard grip on his hips. He stepped back, still shaking, and pushed his pants off, now in need of a wash thanks to the oil spilt over them. Taking care of Jason's as well, he kissed him on the back of the neck.
"I'm going to get these in the wash, Jace," and he turned and left the kitchen, leaving a startled Jason behind. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle with Jason but knew it was probably for the best if he left him at once. Best to learn now, with his friend, how to detach yourself after sex. He pushed their clothes into the washer, grabbing other items from the hamper and stuffing them in as well. He felt like shit, leaving Jason there, as if Jason were just 'a piece of ass' when that was what Jason would never be. He grimaced, hating himself for what he'd just done. Suddenly Jason was there, pulling him by the arm and dragging him into the bedroom. Surprised, he found himself on his back, cradled in Jason's arms while Jason kissed the life out of him.
When Jason let him breathe again, he whispered, "Daniel, you don't ever need to do that with me. I don't ever want you to think I don't care. Remember, I love you." Jason kissed him again, passionately, rubbing his oil-slicked groin against Daniel's, making them both gasp through their noses at the tremor that went through them. Daniel broke the kiss and held Jason's head in his hands as he looked up into his eyes.
"I don't believe this. I want you again."
Daniel was serious, his expression lustful, wanting. Jason smiled. "It'll be a little while."
"I don't care when, Jace. I just want you to make me scream."
"I promise," then kissed him breathless again.
It took four hours, but just after midnight, Jason fulfilled his promise. Exhausted and sated, Daniel drifted off to sleep, wondering if Paul and Jack would be as emotionally freeing as Jason.