"B-b-b-but..."
"Let it go, Daniel." He's never going to let it go. Ever. On the contrary, he will cancel our vacation simply because he found not only Budge but Evans in the briefcase of his temporary replacement. Whatever the hell that means. "It's just 10 days. How much damage can he do?"
"Fuck," he says, favoring me with an icy glare. Daniel can be eloquently succinct when the mood takes him. "You tell me. How many teams will go off world in the next ten days with mission briefings based on information from that...that..."
"Okay, so we tell Hammond to keep this guy away from anything that looks Egyptian or...what?"
"Greek," Daniel snaps. "My god, he probably takes Schliemann at face value!"
"I take it that's bad?" I'm still trying to hustle him down the corridor straight to the elevator before he can find any other reasons to stall.
"Nyan," Daniel says, stopping abruptly.
"What?"
"I'll put Nyan in charge."
"Daniel, you can't put Nyan in charge." This is so obvious. Therefore I'm going to have to explain it.
"Why not?"
"Well, he's an alien, he's young, he has no academic credentials, he..." Daniel's not looking convinced. "Did I mention he's an alien?"
"Alien or not, he knows more than that quack."
"Meaning Nyan's been trained in the Daniel Jackson method."
"Well...yes." Generally speaking, Daniel's not one to toot his own horn. Not even when he, and everyone else by now, knows that his way usually is the best way.
"Nyan doesn't know languages," I point out.
"Nyan doesn't know Budge," Daniel retorts. Mark your calendars—Daniel Jackson, Ph.D. has just conceded that ignorance is a virtue. He twists away from me. "Five minutes," he promises as he takes off back down the hall.
"Daniel!"
"Five!" he shouts as he disappears around the corner. Damn. It's taken all my tactical skills to make this vacation a reality and Daniel's going to blow it right out of the water without even trying. And I planned for this! I allowed for 30 minutes of delays and diversions. 30 minutes of Daniel being Daniel. He used that up 15 minutes ago. Time to call in the big guns.
**
Ten minutes later I'm leaning casually against the tailgate of my truck. I can hear pleading and promises moving in my direction. Sure enough, making their way down the row of parked cars is my team. Hey, a good commander always has a back up plan. Carter has an indulgent and slightly amused look on her face. Just behind her is Teal'c. He has a firm grasp on my AWOL archaeologist who is frantically promising to do as he's told if Teal'c will just let go. Just for a minute. Teal'c has been around that particular block with Daniel few times and he simply isn't that gullible any more. With a reserved flourish he plants Danny squarely in front of me. "Good job. Operation Danny Drop completed four minutes under the allotted time." Daniel gapes at me, outraged. Sam smiles calmly.
"Happy to do our part, sir. The rest is up to you."
"Daniel's taking a vacation if it kills us both," I promise. Daniel mutters something about death quite possibly being preferable and anyway being pretty sure kidnapping is a federal offense. Teal'c is undeniably smug as he bows slightly. Sam gives Daniel a quick hug and me a sharp salute. As she and Teal'c walk away she calls back over her shoulder, "Don't forget to bring me a t-shirt!" I toss Daniel's bag in the truck. He's still bitching when he climbs in the passenger door. "Can it, Daniel. You're taking a vacation. Orders from Hammond." He sniffs disdainfully and settles back to stew in righteous indignation. He has no idea. Actually, no one has the whole idea. Besides me that is. Daniel thinks that we are taking an all expenses paid trip (courtesy of the US government) in order to refresh and renew our minds and bodies. Daniel assumes he's getting the special treatment because we all think he's one turn short of a loose screw. Not true. In fact, if everything goes according to plan I'm planning to play screwdriver and loosen him up big time. Hammond did order some down time for our chronically overworked team. And I convinced him to play along the idea that he ordered Daniel to take a trip with me. Hammond, thinking I had a little Zen fishing in mind, kindly but firmly suggested I take Daniel somewhere a little heavier on the cultural side of things. Hammond doesn't know that that's what I had planned all along. Daniel doesn't know that it's at my expense. Carter and Teal'c know that Daniel and I are headed to the big city. They think I'm doing this as opposed to having Daniel chemically sedated and tied to a bed for a week. That's partly true. The tied to the bed part may yet come into play—if I'm lucky. The whole truth is two fold. One—Daniel needs to get out of the little SGC world he's buried himself in. Two—I cannot, or will not, go on without resolving this thing between us. I know I want him. Need him. Okay, fine—I love him. Sometimes I think I see something coming from him, too, but I'm not sure. So I'm going to treat him to a vacation—and nail him with the question. Then, if the answer is yes, I'll nail him. And if the answer is no, I'll retire, get out of his way and let him keep doing the thing he needs to do. The thing we all need him to do. I won't be happy but I'll live.
**
It's 2315 local time by the time we've survived a twice delayed plane and the taxi ride from hell to make our way to our hotel room. As we slump through the door Daniel spies the king-size bed and stops dead in his tracks. I was really hoping he'd be too tired to notice. As if. "Damn," I say. "They must have screwed up the reservation. I distinctly asked for two double beds." Daniel just stares at me. All right, so it's pretty lame as cover stories go. "Hey, it's late and it's not like we haven't shared sleeping accommodations before."
"Tent. Separate sleeping bags," Daniel counters tersely. I shrug and toss my bag in the closet. "I can't do this, Jack."
"Why not?" This does not bode well for my carefully laid seduction plans. If the thought of sleeping together—platonically—in a bed bigger than some third world countries freaks him this much...
"I, uh, I have a tendency to..." Daniel gestures but I play stupid. Not a real stretch I'll admit. "I snuggle," he admits sheepishly. He can't even look me in the eye.
"I know that, Daniel." He turns on me with wide-eyed horror.
"Oh, no...I didn't." I nod, gleefully confirming his worst fears. "Sorry."
"Daniel, if it was a problem I would have pawned you off on Teal'c or Carter a long time ago." He frowns. I know. Teal'c would have squashed him flat and Carter, much as she adores Daniel, would have cut his nuts off before she even had her eyes fully open. "Don't worry about it."
"Yeah, but... It's a little different without a sleeping bag and..." He's adorable when he's embarrassed. And if he thinks I haven't felt his little buddy greeting me even through the sleeping bag he is severely undervaluing his equipment. "Promise if I get within a foot of you you'll—uh—nudge me away." Or maybe not. Twelve inches?
"Daniel, I realize it's a guy thing to exaggerate but I'm pretty damn sure that dick of yours, impressive as it may be, doesn't come close to a foot." I've never seen an honest to goodness blush from Daniel but there it is. Every inch of exposed skin is deep red. Which leads me to wonder about the unexposed inches. He groans and collapses into a chair, hiding his face in his hands. I'm willing to give him a moment to regroup so I head for the bathroom. I quickly make my evening toilet—which basically consists of brushing my teeth and pissing. Stepping back into the bedroom I shuck my outer clothing and hop on the bed wearing only my jockeys. I really planned on a least one day of culture and an evening of wining and dining before attempting to lure Daniel astray, but I'm wondering if I should just tell him now. Put him out of his misery one way or another. "Come to bed, Daniel."
"Jack," he moans and gives me a pleading look. I just pat my hand on the mattress. "Are you honestly saying it won't bother you if you wake up to find me curled up to you and humping your leg like a dog?" He's embarrassed, angry and defiant. It's good look for him.
"Nope," I say in what I hope is a casual tone. "But I can think of better places to stick that if you're serious about humping me." Either there's a major problem with the ventilation system or that wheezing is coming from Daniel. "Breathe, Daniel!" The only words I can make out are "you" and "want" in all the stammering. "Look, I really intended to show you a good time before attempting to ‘show you a good time' but since the cat's out of the bag...yes, Daniel, I want you. I brought you on this trip not only to give that never stopping brain of yours some rest but also to tell you that I love you and I want to bury myself in your ass and never come out." Well... That was slick, Jack. Making Daniel feel real special here. The man's a freaking genius and he thinks you want him for his body. And holy...! I scoot across the bed to sit on the edge facing Daniel. "Damn it, Daniel—breathe!"
"Ass?" he gasps.
"Yes, I am." Daniel drops his head back into his hands, still gasping for air. I am so screwed. Or not. I'm afraid to say anything seeing as how my comments so far have made me look like a complete lech and robbed Daniel of the physical capacity for speech. Speaking of which—he's making another attempt at coherent speech. I steel myself for Daniel to slam me down hard. Daniel comes across as sweet but he is not a man to be trifled with. As a linguist he uses words as his weapons and he cuts deep. Trouble is, he knows the meaning of subtle so if you're not paying close attention you may not even know he's done it. Until you collapse in a puddle of your own blood.
"Well, if you think you can really keep it up that long...I'm game to try." Huh? "How long did you reserve this room for anyway?" I grab his shaking shoulders and force him upright so I can see his face. Red, a little damp around the eyes, and...the little shit's laughing.
"I'm insulted." Actually, I'm stunned. Daniel just shakes his head in amused disbelief.
"If you wanted to fuck me why didn't you just say something? I would have gotten us from zero to naked in sixty seconds flat."
"Yeah?" Another bit of scintillating conversation from Colonel Jack.
"And I guarantee at least one of us wouldn't be able to sit down the next day." The red faced, shaking, wheezing, completely clueless geek is gone. Who is this sexual predator and how did I get so lucky? Daniel stands, strips, pushes me back on the bed, and slides my jockeys off. All in less than the promised 60 seconds. Guess he wasn't lying about that part. Wonder about the rest of his threat. Promise. Whatever. I rise up on my elbows just as he kneels down between my legs and...
"Excuse me!" Daniel just looks up and gives me a seductive smile. Wait a minute—I was supposed to be doing that part. "I came here with a hopelessly naïve dweeb in glasses. Answers to Danny boy or space monkey. Seen him?" Daniel just moves up over me on the bed, nipping and kissing and licking as he goes.
"Space monkey?" he growls against my chest. He's never forgiven me for that. Nor, I suspect, ever truly understood it.
"Not that I'm complaining. You seem like a very nice...oh, shit...very hot young man. Just wondering what happened to my Danny."
"Your Danny?" I shrug. It's a fait accompli. About time he faced facts. He lets it drop. For now. "I've never been as clueless as you'd like to think. Never. Dweeb...is debatable." Daniel lays some absolutely kick ass suction on me.
"Ung!" Daniel arches an eyebrow at me. Sorry—running on purely primal circuits now. Even guttural noises are a stretch at the moment. Daniel smiles and leans in for another, gentler kiss. "Again," I demand when he pulls back. Daniel obliges. This time he starts gentle...but ends up scorching. We spend some time in a sort of private and purely physical meet & greet. The next coherent thought I have pops up out of nowhere when we end up back in the original position—me on my back and Daniel straddling me. "Daniel, this may seem a little late in the game to be asking but...you okay with this?" Daniel's scowl tells me that was a stupid question. Really, really stupid.
"I hope to god you came prepared," Daniel says in a slightly threatening tone. "I didn't bring anything because frankly, I wasn't expecting to get any." What? Oh! I fumble for the tube I hid under the pillow and hold it up triumphantly. Daniel grabs it and efficiently coats my cock.
"So you're not...you've had some experience, right?" Daniel rises up slightly.
"Do I act like a virgin?" he snipes as he impales himself on my cock. I couldn't answer him if I wanted to—I lost all speech function right then. He starts to move and oh...my...god...
**
"Ooof!" My eyes fly open to behold Daniel's beautiful, and slightly narrowed, eyes. "What?"
"You fell asleep," he accuses. Yeah? So? Since when does that justify an elbow to my ribs?
"It's a guy thing," I say as if that weren't self evident.
"I'm a guy."
"Not much doubt of that," I say agreeably, running a finger through the evidence smeared across my chest and belly. Which isn't even close to dry so... "I wasn't asleep long."
"Only because I woke you." Although he's still half laying on me in a way that can only be described as intimate, Daniel's spoiling for a fight. And I don't have a clue as to why.
"Falling asleep is a natural reaction to the chemicals released by sexual activity." Daniel stares at me with amazement and disbelief. "It's a medical fact. Ask Fraiser."
"Certainly. ‘Janet, I sat on Jack's dick till he screamed. Then he fell asleep. Is that normal?' Get real, Jack." Daniel flops over on his back. Oh, boy...that is a conversation I'd pay to see. Daniel might actually succeed in knocking Napoleon off her high horse. Might even be worth the fall out. Oh...may have just stumbled across a small clue here. And talk about killing the mood. Sexual satiation to angst in the blink of an eye.
"I need a fucking cigarette," I grouse. I fumble around for the pack I stashed away with the lube. Some cravings just never go away. Like a post coital smoke. Not that I've had many opportunities in recent years, being a little shy in the coitus department. Kynthia is one glaring exception but let's face it—I was halfway across the galaxy, not a cig in sight, and a bad case of nanocyte induced VD to boot. Through the glow of the cigarette lighter I catch sight of Daniel's bemused expression. "What?"
"Nothing. Just...I just got this weird mental picture." I wait for him to elaborate. "Of a...you know...a fucking...cigarette."
"Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘blow it out your ass'," I say. "And how is it I've never noticed what a filthy minded pervert you are?"
"It's the glasses," he replies. "People who wear glasses never have sex. We satisfy our erotic urges with academic pursuits. And if we really get horny we read a book."
"I have the terrifying yet titillating suspicion that you could write the book." Seriously. I have the feeling Daniel could teach me a thing or two. Wouldn't be the first time, although sex is a new area of study for us. Curious, I hand Daniel the cigarette. He takes a deep drag. Huh. Who knew.
"You never really get over them, do you?" he says quietly, handing the cigarette back.
"Addictions?"
"Addictions, compulsion, obsessions..."
"No, not really. I think you just learn to bury..."
"Sublimate," Daniel interjects.
"Whatever." Daniel's still lying on his back staring at the ceiling. I get the feeling we're not talking about cigarettes here. I roll to my side so I can see his face better. Yep, he's brooding. That's okay. An insecure Daniel is a Daniel I know. It's a Daniel I can handle. "Lighten up. The world's not going to stop..."
"This is big, Jack." Daniel finally rolls to his side and faces me. He frowns a little. "What is this?"
"It's us. Sort of a different us, but still just us."
"They'll crucify you."
"Maybe. If they ever find out." No point lying to him. He knows the score as well as I do. "I think I've still got enough good will stored up to finagle retirement rather than a dishonorable discharge. I can live with that." Daniel studies me intently. Ever since my undercover gig with the Tollan he's had a hard time trusting his own ability to read me. "Look, I've had time to think and I've made my choice. If you need time..." The look on Daniel's face tells me he thought this through a long time ago. Maybe...probably long before I did. "We'll need to be discrete."
"Like only on rare occasions when we sneak out of town?" He's not trusting this. Us.
"No. Like no funny business on base. And we did not sneak out of town. Everyone at the SGC, the Pentagon, and probably the president himself knew we were going on vacation together."
"Was that wise? Considering you were planning to stake a claim in my ‘virgin' ass?" Okay, now he's just being snide.
"Us hanging together is nothing new. Sneaking away would have aroused suspicion," I inform him. He'll never understand the concept of hiding in plain sight. "And I wasn't planning to do anything to your ass, virgin or otherwise." He just gives me that look. "I was hopeful, yes, but all I really wanted was to...make a start. I brought you here because I didn't want any distractions." Just print up the bumper stickers now—J. O'Neill, spectacularly sappy S.O. "I wanted our first time to be special." Daniel puts a serious lip lock on me (and where the hell did he learn to kiss like that?) so I guess he's not too embarrassed by my unmanly declarations.
"That's sweet," he breathes against my lips.
"Christ, don't I know it," I mumble.
"But not sappy," he continues. No? Cool. "I hate sappy. Get sappy and I'll kick your ass."
"It's a deal. So, was it? Special?" Seriously...kind of got caught up in my own...uh...
"Well, you were a little short."
"What?"
"Time wise," Daniel says mournfully. I know. Color me pathetic. Age is supposed to improve the ability to prolong the experience. Couldn't prove it by me.
"Crap," I growl. "In my defense...it has been a long time." Daniel's expression softens; the twinkle in his eye says he's yanking my chain.
"I came before you did," he reminds me.
"Explosively," I blurt out. Daniel reddens again but I'm busy enjoying a mental replay of Daniel...well, exploding. How could I not come after that? Hell, just the thought is enough to nearly make me come again. Which reminds me... "Hi ho, silver?"
"Seemed appropriate." Daniel can't hide his grin as he pointedly runs his fingers through my hair. I am in such deep shit I'll never need to resort to the Grecian formula. My hair will shortly be dark brown all over without any outside help. Daniel's other hand slides down to encourage some renewed interest in the southern climes as he leans in and breathes softly in my ear. "Fuck me," he whispers. I nearly jump out of my skin.
"Hey, Daniel...don't go beating around the bush or anything." I'm half mortified, half proud of my recuperative powers. At least when Daniel's around. He just rolls over on his stomach and smiles at me. Holy cow—I've seen that smile before. I just never had any idea it was so filthy! I move eagerly, more than ready to assist Dr. Jackson. After all, I am air force and you know our motto. Be prepared. No, wait, that's boy scouts. Be all that you can be? Semper Fi? Aim high? Hell, I don't know! Right now I've got bigger fish to...spear. "Look, I realize the time thing may not be doable," I manage to slur out as I run my tongue up his spine. "I know I said I was never coming out but, you know, realistically..." Daniel snickers. "If I can't make a go of it endurance wise, how would you feel about making up for it in frequency?"
"As in?"
"As in every fucking chance I get." Believe it or not, I am not exaggerating. Daniel's moan sounds approving. Either that or his gonads have tripped the circuit breaker to his brain. He rises up to his knees and presents that lovely ass. Hey, I don't need an engraved invitation. But wouldn't you know it, just as I'm about to enter the Promised Land, Daniel suddenly straightens up and glares at me over his shoulder. "What?"
"You don't have some stupid macho hang up about being bottom, do you?" Uh...say what? "I've never been...I mean fly boys aren't usually my...and you military types tend to be... Don't get me wrong, I like bottom. Actually, I prefer it. But I don't want someone who's got ‘issues' about control or dominance...besides, turn about is fair play and variety being the spice of life..."
"Daniel, shut up." The babbling stops instantly and he gives me a measuring look. I still think he's gorgeous and I'll take him anyway I can get him: top, bottom, sideways or upside down. "Right now I just...I need to fuck you senseless. But I expect you to return the favor. In fact, I'm going to insist on it." Daniel studies me for a moment longer.
"Okay," he says casually as he reassumes the position. I don't give him any more opportunities for distraction. He's still relaxed from last time and I make myself right at home. Daniel pushes back against me with a moan that's half begging, half gloating.
"You're a slut." That's a compliment, by the way.
"I'm with you. Slut is a given." Not quite sure how I should take that. "Now, fuck me. Hard."
"You're the one who jumped into bed with me on the first date," I accuse. Daniel rocks against me demandingly.
"We've been dating for years," he growls back. Well, I suppose you could look at it that way. He shudders as I stroke just right. "I like sex," he confesses breathlessly. If I weren't so absolutely crazed with lust at the moment I'd be laughing myself sick.
"No kidding?" I manage to gasp out. Really, Daniel, had no idea here. Tell me another...damn. Daniel's hell bent on getting us both to stunned, senseless and sated ASAP. And I really need to stop thinking now.
**
I open my eyes feeling slightly disoriented. Hotel. Bed. I look over. Daniel. I grin. Daniel sleeping. Paybacks are hell. "Mrphg!" He drags his face out of the pillow and glares at me.
"You were sleeping," I point out. Ah, sweet vindication. Daniel closes his bleary eyes. His hair is sticking up in all directions, he's sporting a definite case of whisker burn, and has that ‘how dare you wake me?' grumpiness going. He's simply the hottest thing I've ever seen...and he's mine—mine—mine. It goes without saying that I'm seriously twisted.
"Jack, it's 2:30 am," he says as he drops his head back to the pillow. "0230 to you military types. Everyone's sleeping now." He rolls over so he's facing me. "Did you have a reason for waking me?" he asks with a calculating look. Cut me some slack here. After all, I'm forty...something.
"No, sorry. I'm going to need a little more recovery time than that." Daniel nods sleepily. Then a sleepy grin crosses his face.
"So—no go on the frequency promise either?"
"Well, that all depends on your definition of... Apparently not," I concede. "Hey, you made some promises too."
"Zero to naked in sixty seconds?"
"Check on that one, but you also promised that one of us wouldn't be able to sit," I accuse.
"Yeah, that would be me." Oh. Um...no, can't honestly say I feel bad about that. In fact, feeling pretty studly right now. "Still, the evidence would seem to indicate that we should go easy on the whole promise thing."
"Except one," I blurt out. I can't hit the kill switch quickly enough to save myself. "Just that I'll always be here." Shit. Where's a zat when you really need it. "For you. No matter what." Ah, fuck. Daniel is deadly quiet.
"Now that's sappy."
"I know. Gonna kick my ass?"
"I'd rather lick it."
"Judas Priest! Are you always like this?"
"I told you I liked sex," Daniel says with a shrug. "And it's been way too long since I got any." Which brings to mind a question. Before I can say anything his face hardens. "Don't."
"What?"
"I loved Sha're." I honestly don't know why the question even occurred to me. I know he was crazy about her.
"So, technically, you're..." I wiggle my hand.
"Bisexual," he says precisely. He gets a calculating look in his eyes. "Sara?"
"Still be with her. If she could have stood me any longer." Daniel nods, accepting. Suddenly he tenses.
"Sam?"
"Oh, please, the only one who bought that was Anise," I snort. "Beat her superior Tokra technology, too." I'm gloating. Hey, it's not every day you get one over on the snakes.
"How?" Daniel asks suspiciously.
"Uh...you'll have to ask Carter about that." Okay, so I'm not so great on the theory but, you have to admit, I performed brilliantly.
"It was Sam's idea?"
"Look, Carter figured out the machine nailed us because we were unconsciously hiding something."
"Your feelings for each other," Daniel concludes.
"No! See, that's the beauty of it. We managed to fool that machine into thinking that we had feelings for each other to cover up the feelings we really were hiding. I don't know what Carter had going on and, frankly, I don't want to. In my case it was...you." Daniel gets that ‘time out' look on his face, which means he's busily processing everything. "Carter said we needed to find something that was close enough to the truth for us to be able to pull it off."
"So you told Sam about me...us," Daniel says with concern.
"No, of course not." I'm not that big an idiot.
"She knows."
"Does not."
"She suggested you pretend to have ‘feelings' for her in order to hide your true feelings for someone else." Uh... "She risked her reputation at the very least—possibly her career—in order to protect one of you from something even worse." Oh...crap.
"She knows," Daniel repeats. He's right. She does.
"How?"
"She's way smarter than you are."
"Asshole."
"Been there, done that, definitely not buying Sam that t-shirt," Daniel responds agreeably. "What do you say we go with a new plan?"
"I'm up for that."
"Not yet." Daniel grins with evil glee. "But you will be."
Next: Hi Ho, Hi Ho