Bear Necessities

Summary: Jack's thoughts - and bad puns. Bear with me, will you?

Ya know, people think that Daniel's like a bear. A big, cuddly teddy bear. Well, he is - but he's my teddy bear and ain't no one gonna survive cuddling this baby but me. It got me thinking - well, listening to a coupla nurses this morning got me thinking. They were talking about him, calling him, as I said, a great big teddy bear. Oh, how wrong can someone get?

Take this morning. I came into the bedroom bearing coffee. He wakes up like a bear with a sore head most mornings. So, to keep my eardrums in one piece and to avert the onslaught, I bring coffee. Decent, caffeine enriched, triple-strength Java. He's one to bear a grudge if you don't, believe me on that one.

One mug is all it takes to turn Mr. Grizzly into my teddy. And he snuggles so much more after he's drunk it. Bear this in mind, however, the first cup wears off pretty quickly, so unless you want him bearing down on you for more, you'd better have a whole pot made for top-ups.

While waiting for my coffee-making gift to bear fruit, I headed off to get a shower, shave, etc. By the time I was finished, he'd finished, so I got him a refill while he did the shower, shave, etc. routine. So far, so good. I came back upstairs, got back into bed and waited for him to return. He really is bear-like, especially in the winter. Given half the chance I'm sure he'd hibernate till spring.

He came back in, knocked down the second mug, pounced and I got my reward. Licked from head to toe, nibbled in places that the sun don't shine and then fucked till I couldn't bear it anymore. Like I said - my teddy bear. No one else's. People come on to him and I go after them - loaded for bear, of course.

In work, he's sweet. As long as things go well, naturally. He blinks a lot - looks like a koala when he does. So cute he's edible. Then when stuff goes wrong, bear with me on this one, it's getting somewhere, he loses the plot completely. His office isn't known as the bear pit for nothing, ya know. One of his guys used some reference they shouldn't - he just won't Budge on that one - and he flipped. Big, bad, brown bear, baring his teeth and sharpening his claws as he bawled out the poor bastard. Still, he won't make that mistake again.

Off planet, it's the same story. Bear-baiting the System Lords is one of his favourite pastimes. I can't bear to look sometimes. He's got a barefaced cheek with some of the things he calls them. Even I can be more diplomatic than him. There was this one snake - a real small fry, unimportant in the whole herpetological scheme of things. He was seriously getting on our tits. Daniel's especially. For some reason, this worm, Berrsb'm or something, really annoyed the crap out of him. So he went for it. I haven't laughed so much in ages. I can remember precisely what he called the maggot too. A cretinous, fetid, repugnant, parasitical, witless, scum-sucking, ass-wipe. Among other things. So much for sweet and innocent.

HA! He has never been sweet and innocent. But he's one hell of an actor. Fooled the crap out of me, that's for sure. Trouble was, I'd fallen for him. Head over heels, completely and utterly gone on the boy. The night I pounced and kissed the shit out of him, he convinced me he was no boy and hadn't been for the best part of twenty years. How I walked the next morning I have no idea. My ass can bear witness to just how not innocent he is. To be fair, his can show just how not innocent I am, but then I've never tried to pretend otherwise.

At night, he likes to snuggle. His hands and feet are icy though, and I call him 'My Polar Bear', especially when the bastard plasters them to my bare ass. And laughs. You'd think I'd take a 'paws' for thought and warm his extremities up before removing my clothes to go bare skinned. I never learn.

I shouldn't think this way of him, really. His ability to bear pain and bear with me when we're out in the field are legendary. His bearing is always, but always, dignified in the face of tragedy too.

But tonight, I'm gonna treat him right, and my honey is getting some honey for his tea. Served au naturel. On me.