Thinking Hard

Summary: Daniel's thinking.
Short and unbetaed as a result.

He's asleep. His brown eyes shut, his body relaxed, and there's still a trace of a smile on his face. I never thought I'd see this day.

He'd been acting strange all week. On-world and off. Never taking his eyes off me, looking like he was trying to work something out. I know what that was now, of course. Off-world, I was finally getting a chance to do some digging - playing in the dirt as he calls it. Not once did he harangue me or try to make me hurry up. That in itself was odd, but hell, I made the most of it.

Don't think that I hadn't noticed that he was acting strangely - despite my reputation for being oblivious, I'm not. Jack's always known that, knows it's my defence mechanism as acting dumb is his. He's no more dumb than I am. If I don't notice that someone's coming on to me, for example, it means I don't have to offend them by turning them down. Of course, if I am interested, knowing that they've already made a play for me gives me the advantage. Same with Jack. If the enemy think that he's too dumb to live, they find out that they were wrong - usually as they're dying.

So, he knew that I knew - but he also knew that I'd leave him alone to work out whatever it was that was going on in his head. He also knew he could come to me when he was ready and that I would listen.

Chalk and cheese, they call us. Among other things - usually along the lines of 'that pair of snarky bastards'. We appear different on the surface, but underneath it all, we're actually very much alike. Sure, we disagree on mission stuff, and what's important and what's not, but we have the same objectives, the same morals really. Neither of us can bear to see the innocent hurt, neither can we stand by and watch it, even if we know interfering could get us killed. We even share a sense of humour. It's reasonably puerile for the most part - we're nothing more than a pair of big kids, sometimes. Occasionally, we go for the more sophisticated plays on words and so on, but hell, fart jokes can be funny.

I smile as I think of that, looking at him as I do. What am I thinking? I haven't taken my eyes off him yet, as if I do, he'll disappear into thin air. Oh no, I'm not losing him again. No way.

Anyway, the week ended, we were given four days' leave and told to leave. Sam was physically removed from the premises by Teal'c, who made her take him to some dude ranch that Hammond recommended. I think that Jack put him up to that, but the big guy was wearing a cowboy hat when they left so I don't think he put up a fight. Jack, on the other hand, came to my office.

Daniel.

Hey Jack.

Come on.

That's all that was said. I knew then that he had made his mind up about whatever it was that he'd been thinking so hard about . I'll admit to being more than a little nervous as I wasn't sure what he had decided.

He took me home and told me to pack for the weekend. Before I knew where I was, we were on a plane to Minnesota. I guess he wanted, no he needed to get away from Colorado and all of the military connotations and connections. I get that now - I think I got that then, too.

We didn't speak much on the way up, not that the silences were painful. If anything, they were comforting. The fact that we can travel for hundreds of miles without a word and remain close means a lot. Never needing to explain, to make excuses and so on... it's good.

He didn't tell me when we arrived. We unpacked, made some food, ate... the usual settling-in thing. It was only when we sat in front of the fire - a necessary thing on an autumn day - the TV on but ignored, did we really speak.

Are you going to tell me now, Jack?

He smiled, laughed a little even. He didn't tell me, he showed me. I've always been one for hands-on demonstrations, so that was cool.

Standing up, he put his hand out to me and pulled me up to him, but for once, he didn't let go. I didn't try to pull away.

That was all it took. That's how well I know him. Ridiculous, isn't it? Just his keeping hold of my hand told me everything I needed to know. In reply, I smiled at him. Question asked and answered. A lifetime planned without a word. I saw all of the remaining tension in his body leave and he smiled right back.

If anyone had been watching us, they'd have wondered if we were telepathic or something, or if we'd planned it. We hadn't; it was just us, just our way.

There are times when I think that I don't know Jack at all - and other times I think I've known him all my life. He tells me things that he's never told anyone else - I do the same in return. We fight; boy do we fight. We laugh. We hold each other when we're afraid or we hurt. Not that we let anyone else see that, of course; despite our tendencies to get passionate about our causes, we're both still typical guys. Jack's the only one that's ever seen me cry. I'm the only one that's seen him cry. But then there are times when he can take my perception of him and turn it on its head. I guess I can do the same to him. I'm not the dweeb he once thought I was - he's not the militaristic robot that I thought he was. He's a good man. The best. And I'm honoured to call him my best friend. Of course, there are times when I could happily shoot him, so I guess things even out.

He led me to the bedroom and kept hold of my hand as if he was afraid I wouldn't follow. I wasn't going to fight him. Still, he said nothing - at least until he shut the bedroom door behind us. Actually, he didn't say a lot then. He just slammed me up against the door and kissed the shit out of me. Please note, I didn't fight him then either. If anything, I gave as good as I got.

No, there wasn't much said, at least in the manner of conversation. There were plenty of grunts, groans, 'oh Gods' and so on, but I don't think that counts. I don't think I'm going to be able to wear my shirt again. Still, he could do with some new dusters here. Just as well I was wearing one of my flannel shirts, it'll do the job well.

Eventually, we did make it to the bed. More or less naked. The less bit didn't last long. I won't be able to wear my boxers again, either. I had no idea that having my clothes ripped off me was such a turn on. Guess none of my previous lovers have been quite as... enthusiastic. Or is that Neanderthal? Whatever works; I damn near came on the spot. He can do that again.

I noticed that he had lube on the side table, but we didn't end up using it, we couldn't last, the tension, the excitement was too much. Maybe we'll use it later, if I'm lucky. Giving or receiving, I don't care. I'm easy. Er, I could rephrase that, couldn't I?

We didn't get passed the point where I ended up flat on my back and he was laying on me, grinding into my groin in a manner that's probably covered me in bruises. God knows his dick was hard enough. Not complaining, by the way, just stating a fact. I'm covered in something else, but that'll get cleared up a bit more quickly. Let's just hope that Jan doesn't look too closely at me during my next pre-mission medical in a few days' time.

So, what does this mean to me. To us?

I'm still waiting for Jack to actually say something, but I think that he's decided that whatever happens, we're going to be together. That's okay with me. I hate going home to an empty house, I hate not having someone to fight for - to live for, even. Shau're's gone, Shifu's a cloud somewhere... Jack's the main reason I stayed on at the SGC. Didn't want him having too much fun alone. Besides, despite what the awkward bastard thinks, he needs me. So I couldn't leave him. I think... of course... I know. He's finally worked it out. I'm not going to leave him. It's safe for him to accept that now.

He's stirring a little, his eyes still shut but I know he's coming round.

"Daniel?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Stop thinking, there's a good man. It's keeping me awake."

Perhaps I'll just shut my eyes. Maybe we'll talk in the morning.