Valentine, I'd love to see,
You, stark-naked, next to me.

No, Jack thought, drawing a line through it. Too... obvious?

He'd bought a Valentine card for Daniel. It had been difficult to find something suitable. Naturally the cards all had hearts on, which was fine. The trouble was, most of them also had teddy bears, rabbits, flowers - generally red roses - kittens, love birds, even a couple of starry-eyed dogs that looked a little like beagles. He chose one with simple interlinked hearts. Now he was trying to personalize it.

Valentine, you're my desire,
Man, you set my balls on fire!

Definitely not! It was true but it lacked... class, élan, panache. Another line through.

Valentine, I'll give you treats
When you lie between my sheets.

Hm, better, but... no. Strike one more.

Valentine, I love your eyes,
I love your mouth, your butt, your thighs.

No. Just no. Another crossing out. Maybe if he changed the word order...? What rhymed with 'Valentine?' Carbine? Concubine? Porcupine? Oh, wait a minute...

My heart is yours, my Valentine.
From now on, your ass is mine.

Maybe not. Perhaps he should try something a little more romantic?

Candy and roses for you, Valentine,
Gorgeous, clever, and wholly divine.

Aarrgghh! The saccharine content made his teeth want to run for cover. Finally he went for plain and simple.

Valentine, my love is true,
And all of it is just for you.

He sneaked the card into Daniel's den and went for lunch. He returned to find Daniel in his office, card in hand, staring, bug-eyed, at a sheet of paper...

Ngkh! Why hadn't he shredded it? He looked at Daniel aghast. Daniel eyed him speculatively.

"Something you want to tell me, Jack?"

"I think I already have!"

"It's about time... time to kiss me— Valentine..."