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'Tis the Season to be Jolly?

'Tis the night before Christmas and all through the flat,
Not a creature is stirring, not even the cat.
Dad's gone to the pub after beating up Mum—
She's under the table, knocking back rum.

The children are shivering, tucked up in their bunk
Except for big brother who's passed out on junk.
And out in an alleyway, big sister Jayne
Is out of her skull on some bad crack cocaine.

The neighbours are worried (they'd heard the big row)
And called Social Services - soon be here now...
The knock on the door rouses Mum from her stupor;
The women see her state and call for their Super.

The flat is a mess - well, it looks like the tip,
Most of the things will end up in a skip,
The furniture's broken, you can't see the floor
For bottles and cartons and cans and much more.

Young Kylie and Dwayne are roused from their beds.
The nice ladies comb out their lice-ridden heads.
They're already dressed and there's nothing to pack.
Then one of the ladies sees big brother Jack.

The neighbours look out as the kids go to care
Then flashing blue lights show an ambulance there.
Jack's off into hospital where his stomach's pump'd
And some time or other, his head has been bump'd.

As a result, he slips into a coma,
Because of a subarachnoid haematoma.
Back in the pub, things are not going well;
Dad's in a bad mood 'bout the beer that they sell.

He's started a fight; someone's called the police,
So now he's in jail for 'disturbing the peace.'
Before his arrest, he was decked by a copper,
And the lump on his head has turned out a whopper.

While lying out cold in the alley, poor Jayne
Is grabb'd by white slavers and ne'er seen again.
The things in Mum's mind are a little bit mirky,
Now what should she do with that damn' great big turkey?

From the 'fridge to the work top she lugs the huge bird,
Then forgets what comes next; it all seems so absurd.
Maybe it all will become bright and clear
If she moves on from rum to a bottle of beer.

Silence and peace now reign in the flat.
One has a good Christmas, and that one's the cat!


Written on 24 DEC 2005.







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Pandemonium