"Let me ask you something," Daniel said over
breakfast in the commissary. "In all the time that you were - um -
looping, were you ever tempted to do something crazy? I mean, you could do
anything without worrying about the consequences..."
Oh, I certainly did, Daniel, Jack thought, but didn't actually say
He slid his eyes away from Daniel - didn't want the memories to trigger an
inappropriate reaction here of all places. It was a shame Daniel didn't have
those memories, but Jack had every intention of sharing them later. He'd
explained all this - every time - to Daniel and apologized for the
one-sidedness of it.
Daniel had been 'up' for it anyway, rabid little fuck-monster that he was.
He was also all in favor of cocking a snook at Uncle Sam and his antiquated
attitudes. It had been amazing the number of places they'd managed to do it -
had gotten quite creative with each loop.
The third time, Teal'c had caught them coming out of storage room 12-A on
level 17, Daniel with kiss-swollen lips and heaven knew what he looked like,
other than well-fucked.
"Ah, w... we were just looking for"
"Rats!" Jack cut in. "Commissary staff have been complaining
about seeing several of the little critters."
Teal'c raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I see," he said and walked on.
Jack was a little concerned about precisely what it was he 'saw.' As Teal'c
- his partner in crime in some of their lighter moments - would also remember
every single fucking loop, he set about working on an obfuscatory stratagem.
Towards the end of the next loop, he and Teal'c went into the 'Gate room
when he knew Siler would be there. He called Siler over, placed his hands
either side of the technician's face and planted a big sloppy kiss on him.
Siler reacted on instinct and Jack had to duck to avoid a serious cranial
'Memo to self,' he muttered darkly, 'never kiss a guy who's
carrying a big wrench...'
He hoped it would encourage T. to think that he was simply going 'loop
crazy.' Loopy? Come to think of it, he had to have been a little bit loopy to
be carrying a dead rat around with him. He'd looked in at the commissary
kitchens and found it in a trap. It was beginning to bloat by the time Teal'c
caught him and Daniel the second time. They were sneaking out of the
administrative aide's office on level 27.
"Got it!" he said brightly, producing the dead rat with a
A couple of loops later, Jack handed General Hammond his resignation. This
was further proof of loop-induced insanity. He knew A.F.I. 36-2909 inside out
and backwards, and was well aware that even leaving the service or getting
married wouldn't get someone off the hook if there was the slightest whisper
about an 'Unprofessional Relationship.'
Next, he grabbed a startled Sam, dipped her backwards and kissed her
He was back in the commissary looking at that goddamn' green Froot Loop
again. Loopy? Yeah, sure you betcha! But now he had welcome distractions from
solving the problem of how to stop the incessant loops.
Over the next - many - loops, he and Daniel had managed to make out
in the V.I.P. quarters (which were untenanted and thus not much of a
challenge), the locker rooms - both male and female - the M.A.L.P. storage on
Level 27, and the armories on Levels 19 and 28.
They'd come back to Level 28 a few loops later where Daniel had fucked him
to within an inch of his life against the self-destruct mechanism in room B-5.
It had seemed appropriate somehow.
The pièce de résistance had been the time they'd crept into
the Briefing Room. The intention had been to screw like mink on viagra on the
briefing room table, but before they could put this excellent plan into
operation, they'd heard approaching voices.
In a state of semi-undress, they'd slid under the table; there was no chance
of escaping and not enough time to make themselves respectable. While they were
out of sight, it seemed a shame to miss out on a golden opportunity. Therefore,
while Hammond debriefed Sam and Siler on their progress above the table, Jack
and Daniel had indulged in a spectacularly sensuous, and silent, soixante-neuf
In the midst of his lustful reverie, he suddenly realized that, in avoiding
looking at Daniel, he was staring at Sam. Shit! What must she be thinking? He
could almost hear the cogs spinning. Her eyes narrowed... Thank God he had
Teal'c as a witness to all - well, most - of the loopiness of the last three
"So...?" Daniel prompted.
"Oh, you know, took up pottery, played a little golf in the 'Gate room
- yelled at Hammond for ruining my drive, kissed Siler"
"Kissed Siler?" Daniel exclaimed. "How did he react to
"Oh, he nearly busted my skull with that big wrench of his."
"Ouch!" Sam winced.
"So when I kissed you"
"Me?!" she squeaked, jaw dropping.
"I made sure it was nano-seconds before the next loop was
due," Jack replied, adding with a grin, "I wasn't going to risk
retribution from someone who blows up her lab. on a regular basis."
"You're never going to let me live it down are you, sir? It only
happened once," she responded, getting up from the table and looking
"Going Sam?" Daniel asked.
"Yes, Daniel. Got an office to blow up..."
"Great!" Jack grinned. "That'll save me from a
mountain of paperwork."
He breathed a sigh of relief at successfully diverting her attention away
from the lecherous look he'd accidently sent her way. With luck, it would never
enter her head again, and if it did, he had a reliable witness in the big guy
who'd just joined them at the table.
"Hey, T.," he smiled. "Good to be back to normal, isn't
"It is," Teal'c agreed.
"Jack was just telling us about some of the crazy things he got up to
while you were looping and could do whatever you liked with no
consequences," Daniel said, eager for more. "So what did you do,
"I spent much time enjoying the porn channels in room 1612-15,"
Teal'c responded serenely.
"Room 1612-15?" Jack said. "Security...?"
"There aren't any T.V.s in the Security monitoring office, just...
monitors..." Daniel pointed out, puzzled.
"Right. You can't've watched porn chann Oh...... Fuck."
Teal'c's face morphed into the Jaffa equivalent of hysterical laughter.