So there was this debate on 'Our Stargate' on the
Is It Too Late To Salvage SGU?
This prompted my friend, Pattie O'Daws, to
announce that Messers. Allwaize-Right and Tubmaker and their friends,
Mozzarella and Mulligatawny have been paying attention to the many adverse
comments from the die-hard fen of Stargate and are contemplating relaunching
this latest spin-off series in their Stargate franchise. It is to be renamed
Stargate Umbrifer-et-instabilis which means Stargate
Shady'n'Shaky according to their Latin expert, Signor Mozzarella.
At which point, another friend, Romana Klay,
decided it was time to spill the beans. Apparently, it begins at Iggypopperus
Base and the principal characters are:
Dr. Nathaniel Reed - played by popular
British actor, Rupert Kendal-Mintcake.
Colonel Everhard de Grouchy a.k.a. Colonel
Grumpy - played by Ferrero Rocher.
Lieutenant Lothario di Caledonia a.k.a.
'G.S.O.' or Gratuitous Sex Object - played by Bryan P.G. Sexsmith.
Mammara Johnson, a.k.a '3B' or the Busty
Blonde Bint - played by Lana Hugsmen.
Arcturus Rogan-Josh, a.k.a. The Last
Starfighter - played by Draco Indigo.
Master Sergeant Ronnie 'Psycho' Sneer -
played by Jimmy Handsome-Stalker
Ms Clodagh Winjin-Skoda a.k.a. 'T.D.A.' or
The Drippy Airhead - played by Für-Eliza Lovelorn
Ms Ladarmo Camellias Ray-Gunn or 'Who?' -
played by Ni Hao Ma.
Colonel Milton Keynes - played by
(Ich-binnine) Bulliner China-Shoppe.
When Iggypopperus base explodes in a
magnificent display of computer graphics, the lucky characters listed above
will be rescued by a dingy, delapidated, dark and decrepit
This will be named Dustiny by the men as a
hint to the women to clean the place up a bit. The women will respond by naming
the ship, Density, with reference to the men's intellectual capabilities. Of
course, this will go right over the men's heads...
Unlike most Stargate teams, this team won't
have interesting adventures. They will occasionally try to get themselves
killed off, but rarely will their efforts be successful. With one exception,
those who do manage to die, will fail to make this state permanent.
Sadly, that's the first bit of entertainment I've had
Useless erm, Universe, so far and it's probably the
I gave it a reasonable try out, but if nothing grabs your
(in a good way) inside the first seven episodes, then likely it never